10d ago
  • Sexual Orientation OCD

So before I didn’t know what OSOCD was, I wanted to see if I was gay. So I decided to look at pictures online of men. At first, I didn’t get attracted by that, which is good because I’m straight. However, now I’m thinking about that time, and I’m thinking about the photos of the men, and every time I think about it, I always check on my groin area to see if I’m attracted and to my surprise, I didn’t get an erection, but I’m just afraid that my mind will like these intrusive thoughts, and I’m shaking and scared, because I don’t want to be gay if I like it, and I don’t know what to do to forget it!!! 😥😥😥

7d ago
Hi Angel_Marin16, to me it sounds like you have turned your reassurance of not being attracted to the pictures into a compulsion to try to continually disprove to your OCD that you are NOT interested in looking at them…only reinforcing your OCD bully and making the doubt it causes stronger. Like ERP for any other OCD subtype or compulsion, the main thing you have to try to do is to not react positive or negatively (I know easier said than done) to theses thoughts when you get them. Giving into your compulsions will only make them worse and eventually even if you still get no reaction when looking at the pictures, your OCD may start making you doubt why you don’t react to them or start warping your memories to make you question where you did or did not react to them. In any case, like other ERPs, try starting small and when you feel the need to check, try waiting before you check, and sitting with that uncertainty and anxiety, as hard as it is, for as long as you can before giving in. Try increasing that time delay before checking every time you do this and eventually the anxiety will lessen each time and the amount of time before giving into compulsions will increase. In addition, you could also try limiting gradually the amount of time spent searching if/when you do give into these compulsions. The main thing you need to try to do is to tell your OCD Bully when you have these thoughts, “so what”. So what if you don’t check to see if you’re attracted to men, checking isn’t suddenly going to change how you have always felt and lived your life and it doesn’t change you as a person. And ultimately, to try to tell your OCD so what if I do or do not have a reaction to these pictures even if I did check, that wouldn’t change who I am or all I have accomplished or my friends or family or my values or what I know to be my preference, so why should I check just to feed your doubt? I know all of this is easier said than done, but you can do this and beat the OCD bully down, even if it takes awhile and makes you feel uncomfortable, but in the end it will be worth when you can take your life and you mind back from the bully. Best wishes and stay strong.