I feel so sick, constantly feel like Im trans in closet. I literally dont even know what being a man or straight feels like anymore its just all gone. My core fear with being trans is not that Im losing myself bc I think ive already lost my identity a while ago, my core fear is it actually coming true and me having to go through transition, is that a normal ocd core fear? Im so confused bc i dont wish to have those things back( feelings of a straight man) or go back to being who I was then why i am so scared and feel awful all the time? ughhh