I can relate. I experienced this with depression. I wanted to kill myself and still thought that I didn't have depression. It took countless times of seeing fear in my psychiatrist eyes that I would kill myself. Basically, maybe you can talk to yourself about the traits you have that are similar to OCD. That you could have it and you could not, but you're seeking help for your mental state and no matter what, that's a strong and uncomfortable thing to do and you're doing it.