Sounds like harm ocd to me. I struggle with the same thoughts. Ocd attacks the things you care about the most. You seem to be a caring person and you would not want to do these things, that’s why these thoughts scare you. I also pick the skin around my thumbs when I’m anxious. I suffer from harm and false memory ocd. It has been hell. I am starting erp next week with my therapist I have heard wonderful things and great results from people doing erp. I would research erp and watch videos on it. I hope this helped a bit. Always remember you are not alone and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :) I’m here if you need to talk
Will do! Thank you for your help!