- Username
- Cassandragoth
- Date posted
- 716d ago
- Sexual Orientation OCD
I suffer the same with SOOCD, I think it stems for me to a fear of failure or messing up, I have this fear that I’ll have a husband and kids and I’ll suddenly realise I’m a lesbian and mess up my life and my whole families life. I’m very much a perfectionist and I guess never 100% knowing what my sexual orientation is triggers this fear that I’ll mess up and my anxiety gets stuck on it
Yeah I have this fear that I’ll love a man and then suddenly feel like I have to leave the relationship because I want to be with a woman.
I have the fear but it’s multiplied because I am currently in a relationship with a man. I don’t like any women right now and have never had a crush on another woman. But I keep feeling soo guilty at the thought of one day realizing I’m gay and having to blow up our family
So it feels like you have to figure it all out right away to have certainty but like sexuality can be a spectrum too so some people are never going to have 100% certainty about their sexuality
Yeah and that scares me too because I’ll be like ok I like this man but would I like a woman MORE?
Yeah I have this thing in my head where I’d love to get a blood test and it would shoot out what percentage of ‘gay’ I am so I’d know for sure! It’s like I’ve never properly tried being with a woman so my brains how would you know you don’t prefer it but then I know myself I wouldn’t prefer it because I know I’m straight and love men and even battling with my brain trying to tell it that I’m straight is hopeless 🙈
i think this here confirms that this is an ocd and anxiety issue, NOT an identity issue. because it’s about certainty and not about “internalized homophobia” or anything. this is the eternal doubting disorder!!