Hi broken_brain,
I find the same for me, the more I try to focus on past memories(real or false), the more distorted they become and harder to figure out what actually happened. I also find the more I revisit past memories the more twisted I tend to look in hindsight as my OCD wants me to seem like I was much worse to cause me to down even further myself and my memories.
The best thing to do is try to remember that real or false, memories are from the past and no matter how much you revisit or ruminate on them you can never change the past….only learn from it and move forward. Also, no matter how much you try to figure out definitely the details of your memories, your OCD Bully will never be satisfied, so don’t try. Focusing on those memories only makes them more prevalent in your mind and prevents you from dismissing them.
Most importantly, you need to forgive yourself. Real or not, everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect, ever. All the regret or remorse will not change the past and you are not who you were then and those events do not have to define you.
Feelings compelled to overly confess and apologize are very common with OCD. They are compulsions and methods for reassurance and validation to ease our doubt and anxiety that we don’t even realize why we are doing them. Recognizing them as @Beverly did is a big step.
Remember to try to be easy on yourself and be kind to yourself, our OCD is hard enough on us without us being even harder on ourselves.
Best wishes and take care.