- Username
- MamaOCD35
- Date posted
- 582d ago
- Harm OCD
- Postpartum OCD
- Real Events OCD
- OCD newbies
My OCD Story
I am not sure when my OCD started but I knew when it got worst. Now that i’m older and realized that some of the things when I was younger was anxiety and possible OCD . It was hard to unglue from certain situations. Whether it was peer pressure or relationships. I couldn’t get over the negative outcome and I would replay the outcome over and over again. Not allowing me to move on. Causing intense guilt. Although to some nothing really bad happened but to me it was the end of the world. When I was young, I was a happy active girl … my favorite thing to do was to ride my mountain bike, go to school and make friends. Although did not have many friends. I had trouble with learning (especially in math) - I came from a bilingual home. Many people thought I had a learning disability. I never gotten into a physical altercation or caused physical harm on anyone. Although I have been bullied a few times. I’ve retaliated verbally but never physical. There were a few times that some people tried to tell me i’m something that I wasn’t. I’d obsess days on end and ask my sister if I was truly such a person. It wasn’t until I was much older that I got the appropriate testing done to confirm ADD/ADHD/OCD etc. Then one night in college I went to see a scary movie with my friend … and it was traumatizing. I couldn’t sleep for days. My mind was lost from the fear of this movie. I don’t know why I was so sensitive and feared I was exactly like the bad character. I couldn’t unglue. That experience made me go to the ER because of the intense anxiety, ruminative thoughts spiraled out of control. I did a partial in patient program - that helped a little but was an uncomfortable experience. There were people there that have tried everything but didn’t get better. Then I met with a therapist who helped me a lot. I was able to feel like my old self again. But she ended up moving and the office threw me with anybody for treatment/therapy. Providers kept leaving. It wasn’t helping to repeat my story over and over again. Then my OCD it started to get worst again. I admitted myself to inpatient program at another facility. That helped me out amazingly. Then I found my dream team of providers out patient after. But fairly recent I had an OCD flare up for a week and caused me extreme anxiety. I am a mother and wife. I will spare you the twisted thoughts. My psychiatrist and therapist said to try to find OCD therapy. So i’m hoping it will help but i’m worried this will be life long condition and will impact my family.