- Username
- Annawilson1234!
- Date posted
- 498d ago
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
False memory anxiety and guilt
So I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. I took a deep breath at a point and I remember thinking “please god my boyfriends shall always have health”. This is a phrase I use compulsively as a have this fear that I may like the idea of him die. Which idea brings me anxiety. My second thought though was, way if you felt relieved because you thought he would die. Which didn’t ever happen. The thing is.. I remember once ( about 3 months ago) I heard an intense sound and instantly felt relieved in the thought that my boyfriend could have been killed. Maybe because I thought my rocd would be gone. Of course this one second relief due to to ocd, made me repeatedly think about how bad of a person I am and how I would never want such a think. And how good my boyfriend is with me and how much I love him… etc Since then my compulsion is to always say in my mind “ please God let him be healthy “ or asking for his health. Any advice? Ps: of course I wouldn’t want for anyone to die. Especially this person that I love so much. It’s just a huge fear of mine now. Ocd tries to convince me that I would be happy with someone’s death. Which I wouldn’t. But…