I’m really sorry you’re having a tough time. I relate to this as I spent one Thanksgiving sleeping in the cellar as someone triggered me and I couldn’t handle it at the time.
When you make progress you’ll eventually be able to look back on today as a low point and see how far you’ve come.
Give yourself some compassion and take it easy.
Are you feeling better? Is there any way she can come get you now and are you able to go?
If not, it’s okay. You just have to make peace with what happened and see that it’s what you needed.
With ROCD, ERP treatment is the way to go. The sooner the better.
I’m thinking of you and hoping you get relief from your thoughts and pain. We’re here if you need to talk.