POCD and working with children

@chelsea.l4 My ocd can also cause fake arousal and sometimes I allow the feelings down to happen because of the physical side… for example if my brain says I’m feeling things down there because of a child sometimes I allow the feeling but I don’t know why. Sometimes I’m just tired of tensing up to stop the feeling, but sometimes I feel like it’s to enjoy the physical feeling. IS THIS STILL OCD!!!!!???? I told my therapist and they said yes because you can enjoy the physical feelings but never because you’re linking them to the thought

@chelsea.l4 Could you look at my recent post please

@Godsgood Would you mind looking at my recent post

@rea_ I appreciate your kind words so much. I honestly agree like right now I need that reassurance just to survive. You know how you said feelings and thoughts, so even tho I did the action along with my thought, it’s still ocd? Because I always see ppl saying ocd is thoughts but not acting on them, but I had the thought and then did the action, but it’s still OCD right?

@rea_ Could you look at my recent post please

@herd Oh so you also moved them closer because of the thoughts? This honestly reassures me that other ppl have this too. I’m so grateful for your kind words, they’ve honestly healed a part of me. I’m so sorry you also had to deal with it, it’s horrible but yes I agree, own it. We have ocd and we aren’t weirdos. It’ll try anything to make out we are. Could I just ask one more thing? My ocd gives me false arousal and sometimes for a second I feel like it’s true, I feel like I’m aroused because it caused actual arousal. I can never shake it off my mind because somyimes when it says I’m feeling things I let it happen, but I never do it to fight my ocd it just happens. My therapist told me that it causes fake feelings down there which in the moment can feel nice and you might want the feelings, but that’s because it’s the physical side of things never the reason your linking it to (a child) I just also want reassurance that this is also okay!!! Thank you for your kind words xx

@Hi_123 - Hi_123 - I feel now we are getting into the grounds of reassuring you too much. Asking for more reassurance from these answers. That’s also not good and is feeding your ocd. Try to just accept what people say the 1st time and the answer from others on here or people close to you or your therapist. You don’t need 10different people to tell you. 1 is enough and stop at that. Your therapist is enough and you should just accept it and not look for more reassurance. It kills you and eats you up. Its enough to hear from 1 person and all you need to hear. Listen to the answers and accept them. What you are doing is trying to pick out little bits that may mean you are a “weirdo” as you describe. Try not to pick all the tiny details out and think but that part must mean this or that. You know it’s still ocd all of it. Trust me, reassurance over and over again is not a good thing. Stop picking things to pieces from answers or what happened. Accept! Just sit with it, own it, every part of it is OCD despite what your head is telling you. That is exactly what ocd does.

@herd Thank you so much. I think I misunderstood what you meant by when you said “picking out bits that may make you a weirdo” you wasn’t saying that they might make me a weirdo those parts were you” Thank you for your kind words it’s helped a lot 🩷

@herd Would you mind looking at my recent post

@herd Could you look at my recent post please

@herd Could you look at my recent post please

@Anonynmous19 Hi! Could you take a look at my most recent post?

@Anonymous2122 Hiya I can see you’re struggling a lot still with what you did?? I have ocd myself and I understand fully that you want answers to your question from many different people. However, this is what I’m also trying to stop. Because ocd will do it so it makes you ask one person but then it’ll trick you into thinking “their opinion is wrong” then it’ll make you ask more people for more reassure. However, this is ocd trying to trick you into thinking it’s all real. None of it’s real and none of it’s the true you. OCD is a liar and it’ll do anything to make you believe it. Try your hardest to anytime anything happens just say “yep it’s ocd” and whenever it tries to get into your head again just get up and go and do something, if you have any hobbies go and do that? If you have a dog go and walk them, take your child to the park, etc. distract yourself and anytime you get the thought or feelings just say “it’s ocd” because by asking for reassurance and questioning if it’s ocd or not, this is making your ocd worse in the long run. However, recovery is not easy and it will never be. However, it’ll be worth it in the end. Imagine a day without any ocd. Of corse it’ll always be there but you’ll learn how to cope with it. A good start is to just say to any thoughts or feelings etc that “it’s just ocd. Because it is. I promise you that. I’m also struggling major with POCD and it’s driving me insane. However, we can do this. We can do this together. If you need anything just give me a message on here

@Hi_123 Thank you so much!! My mind and gut just make me feel so guilty when I feel so guilty and sad for what happened. How do you message on here anyways?

@Anonynmous19 Could you look at my recent post please

@tayanominous My ocd told me to “pull her closer up to get a feeling down there” or make her slide on my knees for a “feeling” so yes not on my private area of corse but it’s because my brain linked it to it being that area as that’s the thought I had at the time

@tayanominous Did you see my reply

@Anonymous2122 Yes of corse you can!!!

@Hi_123 Before I write this, I will say I had a therapy appointment and told my therapist about this and she said I was fine. And that it was all OCD. However, I'm questioning it still. I've not been getting much sleep, and about a week ago I woke up to my daughter's either foot or knee resting on my bottom. I didn't think much of it because she flops around all night in her sleep. However, I had an intrusive thought come about to move my legs to make her foot graze my bottom. Instead of ignoring the thought, I moved my legs which caused that to happen and made me have an unwanted groinal sensation. I didn't even think twice about it and moved my legs which made her graze my bottom. But after the fact I automatically began FREAKING out and ruminating like crazy. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night and was terrified I was the monster I've always worried I was. I would NEVER hurt my daughter. Never in a million years. So now I'm ruminating as to why this happened. I feel so guilty as a mom and wonder why this happened... I'm a good mother until this happened now I feel terrible and it's hard to even wipe my daughters bottom since. Someone please give me advice. I just need some hope because I feel so guilty... I'm so scared and sad about all this. Do I need to turn myself in for something? I'm terrified to lose my daughter and scared I'm a monster now.

@Anonymous2122 I can reassure you that you did nothing wrong. Even if you moved your leg because of the thought. You did it because of the thought. Your proving yourself ocd by questioning and worrying about your thought and action. Please don’t beat yourself over this. I know to you it seem so terrible because so did mine. However, you saying it to me and other individuals who have ocd, we know it’s ocd and it’s nothing. Please don’t worry yourself. I promise you you’re fine and it’s all just ocd. OCD can make you do actions in response to thoughts but it’s not who you are. You feel this guilty after and feel like you’re a bad mother. That itself shows it’s ocd, and you’re a good mother because you’re worrying about something little, which proves you’d never do it with intent and enjoyment. You’ve got this!! xxx

@Hi_123 Thank you!! It just felt so real and I did move my leg to make her graze my bottom like my thought told me to. Idk why. This is just all so stressful. I clearly was so distressed after. I was literally about to throw up, so I feel like that shows me the proof right there. Idk. It just terrifies me.

@Anonymous2122 I can promise you that you did nothing wrong from the bottom of my heart. It is ocd.

@Hi_123 Thank you so much!!! I need this.

@Hi_123 Would you mind looking at my recent post

@Anonymous2122 Could you look at my recent post please