The constant endless mental checking has just changed everything. It’s not normal to check and I never used to check like this. I never get the answer I truly want anymore. But I’ve got so exhausted from thinking about it. And if I think about it too hard then I panic and start to cry. Is this even HOCD anymore, I feel like I’ve already started planning how I’m gonna leave my partner without realising. I get on edge when she talks to me about the future, and they used to be things i loved talking about. It’s not fair yano I feel like I’ve been stripped apart and put back together again in a new way. I’m not even anxious about it I’m just annoyed.