Welcome to
the NOCD Community

So OCD and trying to challenge it is at the forefront of my mind but I think this is making it worse but if I dont try to challenge it then it's probably just going to maintain itself or get worse so what should I do?

I just saw a new therapist near me via video chat and he just told me that there’s a purpose to why I have all these thoughts and now I’m nervous gr8 :)

Ok everybody! Let's talk about dreams for a hot second! I notice a pattern of members posting about dreams that involve their OCD obsessions. The dreams trigger distress, which is followed by rumination and reassurance seeking to get temporary relief. I wonder if part of the issue is that our cultures often do a bad job of educating us about dreams in general. So, psychoeducation time! We often think that when we fall asleep, our brains "turn off". This couldn't be farther from the truth. Our brains are just as active when we are asleep as when we are awake. They are just active in a different way. We cycle through multiple phases of sleep every night. The cycle where we dream is called REM sleep. It stands for "rapid eye movement" because during this phase of sleep our eyes dart around under our eyelids as though we are watching something. Everyone dreams during rem sleep every night, some people just don't remember it in the morning. All mammals have rem sleep. You may have noticed your dog or cat twitching as they sleep, maybe making little running movements. that's them dreaming in their REM sleep. Unlike during the other phases of sleep, we are mostly paralyzed while we dream. in fact, in experiments where scientists damaged the part of cats brains that are responsible for the paralyzation, the cats wobbled around acting out pouncing and chasing in their sleep- presumably actually doing what they were dreaming about. We don't really know why we need it, but we know it's important. Anything you can think about while you're awake, you can dream about. In fact, dreams are often much less loosley tied to reality. It's like our imaginations have totally free rein. We do know that things we spend a lot of time thinking about when we are awake (like obsessions) show up more frequently in out dreams. That's not surprising. After all, the same neural pathways that are responsible for our obsessions during the day are still there at night. Dreams are not inherently meaningful, despite what dream dictionaries or fortune teller a might insist. There is no reason to out loads of effort into interpreting them. They are just something out brains do to stay healthy. Maybe with the exception of trauma nightmares. Does that information help? If you've got more questions, ask them in the comments and I'll do my best to find resources to answer them

Anyone in the UK experienced therapy on the NHS? What was your experience? It’s the only route I can feasibly take but I want to find someone experienced in treating OCD/more specifically pure O.

I’m sad and kind of scared to stop working with my therapist. I’ve been doing therapy through the app and my therapist is great. She’s super nice and understanding and I’ve enjoyed my sessions with her, as well as seen progress with doing ERP. Today was my 8th and final session but after talking with support we are able to have a couple more check in sessions. I just don’t feel ready to be on my own I guess, without a therapist to check in with and talk to when I’m dealing with something. I was so happy to work with not only a therapist but an OCD specialist. Whenever our sessions wrap up I don’t know if I’ll have to find another one, and from my previous research it’s a psychologist in the next town over, but that means starting over yet again with another therapist. I’d love to keep working with my own but I don’t know how long I am supposed to be with a therapist so am I supposed to start learning to let go now or what do I do?

Currently going through the process of how do I know I don’t like these thoughts if I can’t feel ? Ocd has made me question everything and feel nothing now ... currently going through ERP but I see so many posts about how it hasn’t helped them and I’m so scared I’ll never get my feelings back.

How did you come to realise that you have OCD? Did you find out through a therapist or did you discover it yourself? And what were your early signs of it?

I know I probably shouldn’t but I feel like begging for help right now I’m not sure if these are intrusive thoughts or if I really am a horrible, racist person I’ve done so much research and everything and learned so much about the Arabic language and Islam to educate myself and act as exposure but I’m so so terrified this uncomfortable feeling I have when I hear Arabic music isn’t just my OCD and I really am a monster

Does anyone else feel that they could be really great and really happy if they would just get out of their own way? I’ve had anxiety issues all my life, and am only now learning how my anxiety stems from my ocd. I can see that its been the basis of a lot of choices I made, and I fear it always will. I now feel like I am unhappy with life because I do not let myself be the person I am due to fear. I think naturally I am a free spirit, I love nature, adventures, and learning new things. In my heart I’d love to explore the world and make a difference, but I’m scared my OCD won’t allow me to do this. Its hard when all you want is to be free and you feel so confined by your own mind.

Suicidal OCD I went to a psychiatrist today because I was fed up of how bad my Suicidal OCD was getting. I have been suffering so much just trying to figure out whether I’m actually suicidal or just having intrusive thoughts that make me REALLY feel like I want to die (which in turn makes my anxiety extremely high). I feel like I just want to die and am hopeless that I’ll get better. The psychiatrist assured me that it was an obsession but for some reason, I feel like I didn’t give him enough information for him to find out whether I am truly suicidal or just dealing with intrusive thoughts. I also struggle so much in the mornings because I feel complete hopeless and that life is meaningless. I just don’t feel like Suicidal OCD can get you to the point where you feel completely hopeless and lack of interest and just make you want to stay in bed ruminating and suffering all day.

Yay! Another acronym! What should you do when you get an intrusive thought? ACCEPT it! - AGREE with the possibility it could be true. "maybe it could happen" or "uh, huh, it's possible". - CALL ITS BLUFF by doing a behavioral experiment. "I'm going to touch that toilet anyway, OCD. Go ahead and prove that I'll die before tomorrow comes around" - Boost your CONFIDENCE. "I have coped with hard things before and can do it again". "That would suck, but I'd find a way to be ok" - Add an EMOJI ? Emojis are so popular because they are pictoral gestures. Gestures and body language are an enormous part of how we communicate. Adding an eyeroll ? or shrug ?‍♀️ can go a long way towards changing the attitude you respond to the thought with. - PAUSE and PUT IT OFF aka POSTPONE. "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it". "if it's still a problem tomorrow, I'll reconsider what to do then". "I'll think about this later" (ps, you can totally just keep delaying indefinitely) - And finally, TRANSITION to another TOPIC. "Right now I'm going to keep doing my homework". "I'd rather continue a conversation with my friend about his vacation". "I'm more interested in noticing the nature as I walk rather than ruminating. Look! A cool mushroom!" - I've ? starred the AGREE and TRANSITION because those are the most important bits. As long as you start by agreeing with the possibility and end with transitioning to another topic, you can sandwich in any of the other strategies that suit your needs in the moment. - Did you like this? Is there something you think I should change or add? Is it something you can use? Tell me all about it in the comments! I love hearing your perspective. -

Hello, I have posted before regarding my 13 year old daughter and wondered if anyone else had the same triggers, hers is mental contamination. She doesn’t like bogies, snot , anyone touching their nose, Nose breathing - can’t stand near her pass her things, have to look away when she comes I. Same room so don’t nose breathe near her, She has done a week of Skype sort of intense therapy/ she has done some ERP - went into her sisters Room, Opened cupboard doors, touched things, Went into her room without washing her feet, Touched her remote Control but won’t try anything more and to even get her to repeat these things over again she says I am nagging and all I want to do is talk about ocd, she can be very Bulshy and repeats what I say is a sarcastic way - I’m finding it hard at the Moment to figure out what is her being scared of doing things, or is she is just being a teenager and a bit lazy, and when she speaks to Me Like rubbish - I try not to retaliate as she gets stress and panicky and then it goes on and on but she doesn’t even clear up the mess around the only sofa she will sit on and no one else is allowed over ther or in that area incase we nose breath or something falls out of our Nose. She Knows what she needs to do but when I suggest anything she says oh you were proud of me yesterday when I did. That now you aren’t and you just want more All the time / I don’t care about me I just want her not to lose anymore of her life to this horrid bully- it is like we are the contaminated horrible ones and not the ocd! Any help would be greatly received thankyou

HOCD I don’t if I have habituated to the thoughts these says but the thought in my head of doing anything gay doesn’t cause me any disgust or dislike or make my stomach turn and feel like it’s the opposite. It doesn’t excite me in terms of arousal or an erection. My therapist says this is called conditioning and habituation but with out that level of dissatisfaction I feel like it’s the opposite yeah I can do it. So ultimately can Hocd people realise they are Gay and just in denial. Can anyone relate. I feel like i don’t do any reassurance that I am straight because all I think of his gay acts 24/7 trying to find some level of dislike. I have been diagnosed with OCD but I thought this meant I wasn’t Gay like people with PoCD and harm ocd mean ls they aren’t killers or P...

I thought it might be helpful to share my story of POCD, and how there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I began this obsession in the middle of high school, due to a variety of stressors and past experiences. The thought of being aroused by children was so revolving that it took over my life, silently. I thought it would go away on its own, but it never left. At the worst point, I spent probably 8-9 hours a day obsessing. This went on for years, untreated, and, I became very depressed and felt so lonely. I started seeing a therapist, but they only saw the depression and not what caused it. I eventually was hospitalized for a while for the depression. I had considered that I might have OCD before, but since my rituals were mostly genital checking and avoidance, not something like hand-washing, I didn’t think it was OCD. But finally, my therapist suggested that we use an OCD framework. I saw an OCD specialist, and although I still thought I was a pedophile, I tried ERP and Lexapro. Now, I spend very little time daily, or even weekly, on my POCD, and I usually only do checking if reminded. It took nearly a year and a half from my diagnosis to get to this point, but I have slowly turned my life around and have reclaimed my life from that specific obsession. The biggest thing for me was learned to overcoming the stigma of my thoughts. The first step is being able to say your obsession, as terrible as it may be. Even writing down ”the P word” over and over is a huge step. You’re not evil, you’re not a bad person, and with hard work, you’ll get your life back.

Hi everyone. I’m currently struggling with my ROCD. I get really caught up in social media and I have this idea in my head that if my boyfriend likes other girls pictures I feel like he doesn’t actually love me and would rather be with other woman. It’s made me really upset and it’s starting arguments. I don’t know if breaking up with him is irrational for me to do. I don’t know if it’s my ocd or my insecurities. Or if it’s my ocd heightening my insecurities. Either way. I’m really struggling. Every person that has confessed their love for me romantically, I’ve struggled to truly believe them bc my thoughts tell me that they could be lying and they don’t love me as much as they say they do... any advice or opinions?

How can I help people on this app and write helpful posts without reassuring them? I always feel that I reassure people by accident and actually end up obviously harming instead of helping. :( some of you guys on here are such good advice givers, I want to be aswell.

It seems that My anxiety seems to spike at night when I am trying to relax/fall asleep. Images flash in my mind and thoughts are cranked up to max volume. My heart pounds as my body increases in temperature and I feel like im losing it. Groin responses happen in the instant an image flashes in my mind and a rush of anxiety/panic quickly follow suit. These terrorizing feelings only make it feel like my POCD is not POCD. “You like this taboo”, “you’re attracted to kids”. “Now you cant stop thinking about it”. It just feels Like im the exception. Im trying to ignore or not give much reaction to the thoughts but it seems to only be getting harder. I find myself desperately googling at times(yes i know thats bad) to find someone’s situation who matches mine to the t only to read something that triggers me even more and worsens the OCD. “Well thats them but what about you,huh”. “Maybe youve been like this all along”. Now I am still in bed wanting to not go into work. My head hurts. New thoughts come in daily.

There was a post about pedophilia OCD recently that understandably upset many community members. Let's use this as an opportunity to educate ourselves. First, I'm going to talk about intrusive thoughts in general, and then POCD specifically. I'll end with some links with more detailed information. To ensure that the conflict on the board fizzles out instead of this post fueling the flames, commenting on this post will be turned off. Let’s talk intrusive thoughts for a minute... a big misconception is that people with ocd are likely to act on an intrusive thought, like having sex with a child, harming themselves, or running over a pedestrian. If the thought is OCD though, they are less likely to do that thing compared to anyone else. The two people in my drawing could have a dream with the exact same plot, a clown coming to their birthday party, but for one person it is a nightmare and another it is a fantasy. And we have no problem telling the difference because their emotional responses are totally different. People with intrusive thoughts as part of OCD experience them like nightmares that they hate and want to get rid of at all costs, not fantasies that give them pleasure to think about. In pedophilia OCD, a person has unwanted, upsetting thoughts about sexual interactions with children. These are like nightmares. For a someone with actual pedophilia, thoughts about sex with children are fantasies. People with pocd engage in compulsions, avoidance, and reassurance seeking in response to their obsessions that interferes with their functioning. Recover from POCD is possible. Exposure and Response Prevention is still the gold standard treatment. The aim of therapy is not to get rid of thoughts, it's to reduce the negative emotional response to them and to improve functioning by reducing compulsions, avoidance, and reassurance seeking. Note: reducing emotional discomfort does not mean making the thoughts enjoyable. It means making them boring- neither pleasant or unpleasant. Here is a link to a longer article about POCD: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/am-i-a-monster-an-overview-of-common-features-typical-course-shame-and-treatment-of-pedophilia-ocd-pocd/ And a link to a video about POCD by NOCD advocate Chrissie Hodges: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cDCn93bP8ks

I’m tripping bc I was having intrusive thoughts about my sexual orientation again just popping up and taunting me , I was going to grab my charger and I remember an intrusive thought popping up but also a thought about loving my boyfriend passing then my mind said “ew no” Like really loud I even made a face, then I was panicking and was perplexed , because I’m certain that was for the intrusive thought and not for that, I would never say ew to him, he’s my boyfriend & he makes me happy. But ofc that feeds the intrusive thoughts perfectly and now I’m sitting here just crying because that’s just unfair ofc my mind is here doubting which was it for, “why would you say that if you’re attracted to him” but I remember there being an intrusive while I was grabbing my charger I’m sure I reacted to that and my mind is here taunting me calling that “proof” and it just makes me cry because I love my boyfriend so much, I’m attracted to men I’m straight and I’ve always been, and I don’t want this making me feel like I’m being someone I’m Not with him or that I fake love him because that’s not the case, plus this has always been who I am, I miss him more than ever because of this quarantine and I was crying so much when that happened I’m just like why why then ? I just know there was an intrusive thought in play... what do I do? ? I am almost certain it had to be because of the intrusive thought, I’ll usually shake my head whenever something incorrect passes my mind, there have been some slip ups that I’ve gotten over but this one I care about and is affecting me. Also please do not assume that I am gay because i can assure you that I’m not! These thoughts torture me and put me at my worst. I need help with coping with this and feeling better with myself and my relationship! Please

I’m struggling today. Everything’s coming at me all at once. My rocd peaked into my dreams again so I woke up anxious and then my hocd came in and now it’s like hocd is attaching to incest ocd?! Like what the hell is this?! I can’t stop connecting it to my mom and I want to vomit but at the same time it “turns me on” which makes me even more nauseous & she always moans which makes everything worse & makes me uncomfortable, this happened to the point where I was like why doesn’t it bother me about my dad or brother (my dad doesn’t live with us parents are divorced but my brother does) why my mom?? They’re both disgusting but just the fact that my moms female makes me even more nervous!! & it even brought my brothers gf into the picture as if I want her when I DONT. My mind is all over the place and whenever this happens my tocd comes into play also and I just want to cry. I can never catch a break. I hate my brain. I feel like I’m living a lie towards my boyfriend. I feel like I’m living a whole different life and it makes me feel guilty and shameful. I hate this.