Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hocd apparently there is Core fear everyone has in the there belief system has any therapists spoke to anyone about this

At this point i’m using that app as a place to vent so this is gonna be long sorry. I feel like anytime someone makes a sound like a grunt or a moan or their tone of voice or anything of that nature my mind automatically sexualizes it even if it wasn’t in a sexual nature. And this is hard for me because those are noises people just make on a daily basis like if they’re picking something up or if they just woke up and now it’s become a thing where automatically if i hear it i’ll get a groinal response or like a twitch or something and it’s even worse for me since now i’m always home so those reactions are from hearing my mom or my sister which then makes me feel terrible cause then it’s like i’m attracted to a family member literally just making a fucking sound. For example my mom was all groggy talking on the phone because she just woke up and i heard her and then boom i was triggered. like wtf. And this time i noticed the response that i got was different to other times because usually i know the difference between a groinal response and when i’m genuinely attracted to someone like when i’m talking to a guy but this time it i felt like i responded as if it was someone i was attracted to which took away the security of it just being a groinal response. And this time i kinda just sat there with the thought rather shutting it out right away or panicking so now i feel like the reaction was genuine or that i wanted the thought and feelings to come. And sometimes i feel like things that probably shouldn’t trigger me put me on edge because i’m afraid of the possibility that it could and because i’m trying to fight off the possibility of triggering me it becomes a trigger cause my mind now associates whatever the thing was with panic or discomfort. This is hard because something that i was doing to protect myself from triggers is what causes the trigger. And i feel like it’s harder for me to move past things when it comes to my family members because if it were a friend i could deal with the possibility of being attracted to them and the uncertainty of that, but i can’t deal with the possibility of being attracted to my fucking mom or sister. And when i sit there and allow the thought to pass my mind and i have a response i feel like i just allowed myself or wanted the response to happen otherwise i would’ve fought it off as i normally would. I know i need to not question everything and be okay with the uncertainty of things but i literally feel like i can’t help but obsess over why i do things and why i reacted in a certain way.

I never thought I would say this but this app triggers me so much and brings me a new theme. My OCD themes are usually religious and ROCD but since yesterday, I found a lot of post about HOCD, i began to fear that what if this will be my next theme/problem. And then this morning when I woke up, I felt so scared that I may be not as straight woman I thought I am. This is frightening as I do not want to be gay nor my ocd to morp into something else. OCD really sucks.

I relapsed over watching porn and masturbation, this is not so much ocd related, but it weakens me and my faith, also I start to fear my pocd came back again

Made a comment earlier saying that if it wasn’t for society’s view on my fear I would enjoy it/ already commited it. I also said that I had done some questionable stuff that could/would lead up to me doing my fear. Most of which if I told people, they would be like “uh, wtf? seems like you are into that.” Katie replied and said “Maybe you would, you never know”. I 100% understand that this is supposed to make me deal with the uncertainty & overcome the anxiety. But i’ve been crying over that for a couple hours now. I don’t want to be that disgusting person. And because I have real-event OCD, it seems to me I already was that disgusting person. I just never went to far into my fear. It’s excruciatingly painful to think about. At one point I thought that certain stuff was okay. I was a kid, but still, I thought it was okay. Meaning, if it wasn’t for me maturing, I would’ve done that stuff, if it wasn’t for society, I would be that horrible person. I cant live knowing this.

I have a headache and I’m scared ?

i hate when i test myself thinking that i’ll be able to control my response or just to see how i would react to something but then end up with the complete opposite of the response i wanted and then begin to stress about why i reacted that certain way even though i did because it’s literally a trigger. but then i feel like i did it to myself or that i wanted it because i purposefully thought of it. it’s a terrible cycle.

I rly truly feel alone. I see everyone else’s posts on this app get multiple likes but then mine always seems skipped over and it makes me wonder if everyone else must think I’m messed up too. And I’m panicking all over again. I’m really tired and my pocd is constantly triggered. I’m just tired of it.

So my bf and I have been calling every single night for like a few hours (1-2) for the last two months and tonight we couldn’t and it was kind of nice to take a break from the phone calls....How do I handle these thoughts can anyone relate? How do I handle feeling guilty?

Hi my name is Christine, My OCD obsessions are based around fear of doing something wrong and going to jail even know I have no history of ever doing anything wrong , mmost of my obsessions are value based and fear of punishment, no one will understand its my OCD and not me. I have had OCD for 30 years. Have tried and continue with outpatient therapy, Finished with 36 treatments of TMS . CBT, ERP, and unfortunately have Seratonin syndrome and cannot take SSRI'S, I continue treatment 2 times a week and after 30 years will be quitting my job as an RN as OCD has and continues to take a toll on me. Thank you for letting me join and blessings to those who suffer like me.

Im just so sad it feels like I truly like my fear. Im trying not to check or respond but it is so so hard. I know what I want and it isn't that but if I feel it it must mean it is true.

I get this thought that tells me “how are you going to tell your future wife that you have ocd? And these are the intrusive thoughts? Jesus man no one will love you”

I didn’t mean to delete my post ugh. Basically I’m panicking because I’m 23 and because of trauma I age regress. Basically I just really miss being a kid. I miss being treated like a kid. I miss getting to do kid things and not be seen as weird or be like “oh you’re an adult so I’ll treat you differently” and stuff. Basically I was making something and talking to my friend and the subject was brought up because of it and I said “I almost said I was 17 last year to do a reading program” because you couldn’t be over 18 to do it. I obviously didn’t do it but like Idk. He was like “that’s getting into creepy territory” and I started panicking the fuck out. He said chill and said he knows I didn’t mean it like that but I legit feel so much panic now and it won’t go away and I want to just cry? I think about everything I used to say to my ex best friend bc I used to tell her everything and when ever I told her this stuff she used to tell me I wasn’t creepy and stuff but like I don’t know. I feel really sick now and it’s like every morning something seems to upset me and puts my on hard core edge and I’m always alone when it happens. I really really hate it. I’m scared because I’m so obsessed with wanting to be a kid again that it makes me some creepy p word. When I ain’t even attracted to kids and I’d never wanna hurt a kid. I just want to be a kid again and be treated like one. And just not have to worry about adult stuff like at ALL. My friend knows I regress so when he said that it just set me off so bad. I don’t know. I just hate how I’m always alone in the morning when this always happens. I’ll just panic and feel sick. Or I’ll be upset and depressed. And everyone would have already gone to bed. I just wanna disappear now and i think of any of my other friends heard any of my feelings they’d probably be creeped out and I’m just panicking. I don’t know what to do and I’m depressed and panicking and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of everything and my life is going down the drain anyways. As an adult life just sucks and everyone leaves you. My dog died the other day and everyone always just leaves me through death. Grandma, other dog two years ago, my dog the other day... and then my mom has Alzheimer’s, and I’m not emotionally connected to my dad so I feel so fuckint alone. My ex best friend left me last year. Legit just wanna go back in time and be a kid again like I don’t know.

Hey everyone. I spent 3 months at McLean’s OCD Institute. During that time, I learned about different forms of OCD, coping mechanisms, Exposure and Response Prevention and much more. Not many people are fortunate enough to have received treatment at McLean so I wrote an article discussing what I learned there. I hope you find it helpful! https://medium.com/@archie4321/i-spent-3-months-at-the-ocd-institute-heres-what-i-learned-85f47f559c83?source=friends_link&sk=19057f76d5ce290a67f218247130ad24

Has anyone had experience with needing to be very "demanding" with their prescriber? Sort of a long story, but here's the context. As a young adult (18-20) I dealt with (mostly circumstantial) depression. I was bounced around by university doctors, a pcp, and then to an actual psychiatric prescriber. I tried several SSRIs (including prozaprozac, Lexapro, celexa) and wellbutrin. Nothing helped and most were activating and I had suicidal ideation. I eventually landed on lamictal and ativan (which I never took, too scared of benzos). I went off at 20, and didnt look back. Things were great till 2 years ago when my brother passed. My OCD came out in full force (cant touch the ground with anything other than my feet, cant hug or touch people, etc). Added the med route to my counseling a little over a year ago. She listened to my past history and we started with lamictal. General mood improvement, but no ocd improvement. Then she added low dose abilify. OCD very very slightly improved for 3 weeks, then went back to normal. She tossed out the idea or Orap and I said no because of limited evidence with OCD and side effects risk. As of right now, her plan is to keep increasing the abilify and hope those initial results come back. I have asked to try luvox or anafranil but she is hesitant because of my past with SSRIs. However I never tried them with modifiers like abilify or lamictal and I also was very young, on birth control (which really changes my mental health state), and hadnt had a child. Also, OCD was not the concern then. I was very anti medication when we started but things are SO bad that I am willing to try anything. She is aware of this. I had my counselor talk to her and now she is coming around to luvox, but only after we try the increases in abilify and even then she is still hesitant. Has anyone experienced anything like this with their provider, or dealt with similar struggles in finding a good med combo? Also, any stories of experiences with luvox would be great! Tl;dr- provider is set on one med path that isnt getting good enough results, without considering other factors.

bad idea but just had to pull my own little placebo effect for comfort... haven’t really been doing good recently; i’ve felt better about my own confidence since i’ve cut my hair and found my style, but because the health ocd is such a heavy weight, i can’t seem to find happiness that i’ve done all these good things about my self confidence. all that my life revolves around now is being clean and free of illness. TW: MENTION OF CONTAMINATION/HEALTH COMPULSIONS/HARM because of my contamination ocd, i cling onto every little thing i hear that could affect it. example: once heard someone say that if i could hold my breath for over ten seconds, then i don’t have a virus... so what do i do every morning, midday, and night? hold my breath for ten seconds and hope i can do it, otherwise... well it’s over for me. my detriment was hearing my mum say that she had read somewhere about hot drinks (tea mainly) being able to wash down viruses that start in the throat. i remember that... and now, sounds silly, but i genuinely have an obsession with drinking tea ?‍♀️?‍♀️ started off small, i’d drink a cup every now and then, but lo and behold, feeding into the obsession made it worse. every time i felt dirty, every time someone came near me, every time someone breathed on me, my ocd would say: KETTLE, TEA, NOWWWWWW, DON’T BREATHE, JUST GO MAKE TEAAAA so i’d go and make tea, drink it, and it kept getting more and more frequent... until it got incredibly dangerous. every day, as i got more worried, i’d start drinking it hotter and hotter until my tongue and my throat would burn with every sip. but even though i was in pain and my mouth was burning, my ocd kept telling me that “this is working” because now “the viruses are being killed”. i’m going to eventually give myself third degree burns if i don’t stop ?✌️ now my tongue is completely red, and i see that it is, but i just can’t stop with the scolding hot drinks because i’ve convinced myself that i’ll become ill if i don’t drink it. it’s almost as if when there isn’t a hot drink beside me that i can just reach out and grab, i become incredibly nervous and close to mortified. it’s become a detrimental comfort to me now. i can’t even relax with people beside me because if they do so much as stand up and the air hits me then i’m out making another friggin cup of tea. so now i’m sat, my face is pink and my cheeks are burning just out of the blue, and now the big old question: am i having a hot flush or am i dying? so, my little placebo: had to take paracetamol and antisickness, solely relying on that for comfort. i guess the better comforts i have are listening to swan lake and reading animal farm... i also have good old animal crossing to relax me

How do I find peace when there's something wrong that you can't change? I have responsibility OCD. I'm 17 and I have a friend who's 15 and I just found out they're dating a 17 year old. Which I find really unsettling and creepy. And I know that whatever I do I can't convince him to dump their boyfriend.

Hey guys! I used to be a frequent poster in this app and I understand the frustration, worry and exhaustion you all are facing. I have suffered Trans OCD, HOCD and ROCD. Currently, my ROCD and HOCD are about 75% cured (Trans OCD is obselete but will pop up randomly sometimes) and I am more than happy to to answer any questions you guys have about this unforgivable mental disturbance. :)

Does anyone have OCD and Paranoia. I am out in a new medication with my Zoloft, it’s called aripiprazole. I was wondering if anyone has tried it and if it helped them. My doctor said it should help and I hope it does, I have been through so many medz that I never found any that really helped me.

Anyone have any tips or advice about bad guilt/anxiety/worry after a potentially very bad car accident? That would have semi been your fault. I was driving back to my university from my house which is about a 3 hour drive. I’ve noticed in the past that when I make this drive, I start accelerating on the open roads without even noticing. I’ll reach 70,80,90 even 100mph without realizing and then eventually look down and start decreasing my speed again. I stay in the left lane (so it’s deemed a little more appropriate to go fast), but in this situation, two cars were stopping to pull over to the side and a truck that was behind them got into my lane, and pretty much stopped. I braked as hard as I could, and literally saw myself almost slamming into the back of his truck, until I swerved onto the shoulder to pass him. Barely missing. I went into fight or flight mode and pretty much stayed calm the entire time- luckily. Another car that was behind me caught up to me and I could see him trying to get my attention, but I felt like he was going to cuss me out so I avoided eye contact. I knew I was going way too fast. I’m trying to just use this as a learning moment to be more aware of my speed on open roads like this, but I just feel really really sick about what could have happened. Sigh:/