Welcome to
the NOCD Community

So my most current theme has been ROCD. It’s been nagging at me for the last 4 years. OCD makes me INCREDIBLY self critical and I often turn that internal voice on to my partner and can be incredibly critical of him. In essence, I’m almost subconsciously sabotaging my relationship which is the OPPOSITE of what I want. I’m looking for people who experience this same response and patterned behaviour. Share tips, in-the-moment awareness suggestions. Words of encouragement (not reassurance). OCD is such a trip lol

Knowing ocd is chronic is heart wrenching. It’s like a domino effect, ocd will affect my grades negatively, leading to me not getting into a good college, which could lead to me not being able to live out my dream of playing in the MLB. How could god do this to me. I’m sick of suffering

How’s everyone doing today!! Feel free to tell me your worries! I’m not a doctor and I’m not reassuring you. I just have experience in dealing with intrusive thought ocd.

I wake up feeling so anxious. Sometimes accompanied by thoughts, sometimes not. Pit in my stomach feeling. Every. Single. Morning. My wedding is 4 and a half weeks away. 😭😳

Anyone's OCD convincing them that they're missing out by not doing the things OCD tells you to?

lately all i can do is think about how i wish my most recent suicide attempt hadn’t failed. it was a long time ago but things have gotten so much worse since then. now i don’t even try to commit cause i know it won’t work anyway. i used to be hopeful about finding new people and trying but it’s been so long and the very few people i’ve met have let me down so horribly. i really believe most people are bad. i used to feel like i had so much love to give but no one to give it to but now i feel like i don’t have anything at all to give. i just spend everyday genuinely hating life and i know a lot of people say they have no one but i really dont. i live alone, i stopped talking to my parents, no siblings. i have one friend who lives in another state but we don’t discuss “real” subject matters. i just truly feel like there’s no future for me. no career, no S.O., no friends. every day i feel myself becoming less of a person so sad that i can physically feel it. on top of that i’ve been sick with the virus in quarantine so it’s obviously made everything worse. there was a point i truly thought i was going to die and i felt excited but now that i’m getting better i feel mentally even worse. i have just never felt this hopeless and numb

Can somebody with ROCD please talk to me?

I feel like my OCD is trying to switch to another harm theme, and I really don’t think I can handle it. 😫 why when we get a grip on one does it want to change

For those who have sought out a psychiatrist, how was your experience? I’m wanting to see one just to talk about potential medication options since I already have a separate therapist, but honestly I’m scared about opening up to someone who isn’t necessarily an OCD specialist. My main themes are suicidal OCD and existential OCD so I’m afraid the mention of these topics to a psychiatrist who might not be aware that these are possible OCD themes would not only diagnose me with severe depression (which I’m not depressed at all) but would forcefully send me to a psychiatric hospital. I’ve also heard some professionals don’t even believe in “Pure O” OCD and many sites only mention that compulsions are physical. I feel like I’m taking a huge risk to potentially be misunderstood with who knows what consequences following. I don’t know if I should share the exact nature of how OCD affects me, but at the same time I’d like to feel comfortable and safe enough to share my story and be understood. Anyone have any insight or experiences?

I’m new to this community. My daughter is 14 and is suffering from what I believe is contamination ocd. She was just fine this evening and out of no where was crying uncontrollably. I’m so lost as a parent because I don’t know how to help her. I can’t even give a hug. I feel so bad just letting her cry.

I want to eat over my thoughts but the thoughts have opened so many questions and I'm scared I've forgotten how to think and feel normally

fighting off the urge to research comp het right now 😭😭

Any one else acted on urges but to test the thoughts ? I have told my therapist and she says it doesnt meen I'm a pedo but it's just a compulsion and that I'm doing it to check I rubbed my hands up my little boys thighs in an attempt to check that I definitely wouldnt feel anything but then when I did it I felt like that meant I molested him. I've had this happen befor and i know its ocd but its killing me

just realizing how much reassurance i do without knowing it like with mental compulsions i just feel like its harder to know if you arent doing them because okay say i do my erp in the middle of sitting there my thoughts get loud too loud for me to even do a mental compulsion its like sit and let it go then as it gets less loud my brain is like oh yeah comfort speaking of comfort here all the examples in your life of why you arent that thing you think you are because that will make us feel even better and then i have to fight it and go oh but you are oh but those things dont make you not a x,y, or z thats ocd math that you do ... and i even use my erp as a reassurance compulsion i go well look the erp exercises are doing what they are supposed to that means you do have ocd that means youre not x,y, or z and its like my brain just jumps there so fast and in order to not have to start all over again with my erp i just have to say the opposite of my accidental reassurance and go well you dont know that you can do those things and still be what you dont want to be ... i feel like reassurance comes so naturally to me i am always without trying finding ways to prove my fear isnt true like i have to basically delete all the reassurance ive done because im not actively trying to do it its like my mind just knows to go back to examples in my life that make me not a p*** or gay because ive done that my whole life and then using ocd as a thing to be like see youre not that its ocd like i think im finally getting what i have to do like if im reassuring myself mentally without trying everytime i reassure myself in life i have to unreassure myself right after, i have to go "but youre not" or "look remember this so youre not" i have to tell myself but you could be and that math doesnt make you not gay and not a p*** i have to tell myself that until basically reassuring myself isnt something i automatically do ... lol only took me like 9 sessions 😂 but god that sucks because ocd can be like a bully its screaming at you that you are this you are that you want something you dont want you visualize things you dont want to see and instead of going oh its just ocd and all of it is your mind playing tricks on you i have to almost agree with it i have to almost go maybe that is true as many times as possible until the alarm isnt as loud ... that sucks like the therapy for a bully in hour head isnt to fight back but to be like yeah maybe youre right and i dont care (even though you do) but the idea of getting to a point where i dont care about these thoughts to me makes me go well wouldnt that be more proof i am that thing because if the thoughts dont disturb me then that does make me evil... ugh ocd sucks... im constantly looking for proof that i am bad or good and half the time i dont even notice it because its just so natural for me

I have urges not doing anything with my husband... 😞 I loved cuddling with him giving him head rubs... every time I wake up I feel nothing... I want to be with him normally again.. I keep having urges to break up with him when I don’t want to... 😖 I don’t wanna lose my baby... I don’t want a new boyfriend... I don’t want the other man touching me 😭 I hear thoughts tell be just friends... I believe my thoughts and feelings bc I kept testing say I’m not in love with him just to test myself 😭 I shouldn’t have done that.... my relationship of 10 years is gonna end! 😭😭

I just don’t understand anymore. Can there be some truth to obsessions without them having to be real?? I have evidence supporting that I may be lesbian even though I’m married and never thought I was before. Someone posted last night about gay people in denial rationalizing their attractions or thoughts and I do that in terms of erotica that I read and my reactions to certain sexualized images. I’m losing sleep, I just want peace

PLEASE READ I wake up everyday with a thought and heartache that I am getting used to live with my boyfriend around and I don't love him anymore and that I lied to myself since a long time that I love him and it hurts :( Today I woke up with the very same thought when I had ocd ish dream. because I had a crush on a guy for days or two even when I was in a relationship with him. I didn't do anything about that crush and I didn't recall it until recently. But my mind days that I started lying to myself that I love my boyfriend after getting a crush over another guy . I don't recall. And my mind is making things up which scares me to death. I have dreams of my exs but m glad that even in my dreams I chose my boyfriend as in my consciousness he is there even though my dreams shoe the opposite. Why am I being so mean..... I feel like I am hiding that I don't love him anymore behing this distortion and faking everything.

I woke up and I immediately got HOCD thoughts. Yesterday it was full day POCD. I can't see this ever going the right way. I wish I was just dead. Why does it have to be all day long

I read an article about how people who are gay before coming out were in denial and they would try to convince themselves they were straight, hope and pray they were straight, and try to rationalize all their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors about their sexuality. I myself do all of these things so how do I know if I'm struggling with hocd or in denial of my sexuality. Can someone please respond

So onetime I posted something and this one guy on tik tok said “do girls like (characters name) as much as boys love (female characters name)” and at the time I didn’t know I had hocd but I was like “I find him attractive but I liked (f characters name) better and I thought to myself ‘omg because I like the female character in the show better does that mean I like girls’ and then he said “ohhh are you bi because I don’t like bi girls ” and I said “no I just like anime girls, but even if I did what’s wrong with it” and he said “oh because I don’t want that much competition” and I was like a little annoyed because his excuse was kinda dumb and I’m worried that because I got annoyed than that means I was offended because I’m gay or something IDK but the whole time I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay what if I’m gay” I’m worried because I stuck up for them than that means im gay and one time around the beginning of hocd this girl called me gay as an insult and I was like “why are you still using gay as an insult?” but inside I was wondering “omg what if I’m gay” idk I guess I was a little mad because I have gay friends and I know that they would think it’s offensive but What if I got mad because I’m gay myself :/