- Date posted
- 5y
Someone please help! I feel like crying. I had an argument with my sister regarding something. I play this online game called yo world on fb and I met someone on there who also lives near me. We are close friends and she’s a girl and I’m thinking about meeting her. My ex was really toxic which traumatised me really badly and made me want to end my life. she was a girl. However I was on soo many pills because off my intrusive thoughts and anxiety that i wasn't aware of my own actions( whether i really liked her) or just wanted someone to be with me to not feel alone. i told my sister i am planning to meet up with this girl however were just good friends. i guess my sister is right about bringing someone over just to chill after meeting them once however i got really upset when my sister said that as i started to believe that she was stopping me from meeting someone and make friends. my mum got involved after i argued with my sister and said why i was getting so upset and thought i was meeting this girl ( for something else) however after my last relationship it left me questioning about my sexuality it was my first one. i don't know whether I'm bisexual or not cause whenever i watch programmes with good-looking guys i get attracted and happy. i have liked guys before. my mum is like so your bisexual means u want to be with a guy and a girl in a relationship at the same time? now i cant stop thinking about what if i want to be with two people at the same time? i'm getting scared. this thought happened after my mum said that. i don't even know if I'm bisexual or not. i feel really embarrassed having this thought. i searched on the internet. 'confused about my sexuality and lgtb came up. i saw the wore trans gender and starting thinking what if im transgender . i don't want these thoughts. i just want to be free. i can't stop thinking about my sexuality. i feel that i never liked guys when i did??? why is my brain making me feel like this. : (
- Trigger warning
- Relationship OCD