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I sometimes say I'm gay like I can't control it ?

for anyone suffering right now, here is some reminders that may ease the pain. 🌷 -you’re not your intrusive thoughts (no matter how ugly, disgusting, disturbing they are) -there will be better days so just keep going -thoughts don’t mean anything about your character (how you treat others, your spirit, your wants) -if you’ve had a horrible intrusive thought, i’ve probably had it. you’re not alone. -the reason we get attacked by horrible images, scenes, thoughts is because they’re labeled in our brains as threats. -there’s a difference between a “fear” and a “want”, people with pure o are usually fearful of their thoughts, they don’t want them. -lastly, take care of yourself, watch a movie, do some self care, get some well needed rest. 🍄you matter and you’re important, no matter what your intrusive thoughts tell you. 💐<3

this isn’t ocd related but me venting instead. i am graduating high school next saturday and i can’t help but think that i wasted my 4 years there. never drank, never done drugs, and never gone to parties. i feel so painfully boring and i am really leaving without having these experiences and it hurts. i am also going to community college for financial reasons and i am just missing more of it :/

Does anyone know why hocd and rocd usually occur in that order? My hocd started bothering me and almost immediately I started doubting my relationship with my spouse? Any information would be helpful. I hope everyone has an anxiety free weekend!!

Isn’t it so frustrating when you’re having a great day and in a wonderful mood (rare) and then all of a sudden, you’re triggered by something silly and now you’re anxious about something that keeps coming up over and over in your mind? I feel like this might sound silly (or many not). I’m scared to share in case everyone replies and just says what a big red flag this is but I’m so sick of being anxious about this so here goes... My partner and I will have been together for 4 years this year and he’s never posted about me on social media 🤦🏼‍♀️ on one hand, I feel so stupid for worrying about this (we’re in our 30’s for goodness sake!), but on the other hand, it still makes me extremely anxious when I think about it too much. We’ve had sooo many conversations about it, because I would get really upset that he was ashamed of me or trying to hide me. He always promises that isn’t why. He feels like posting on social media is like, the highest level of commitment lol. Last time we had this conversation, he told me he would feel more comfortable proposing to me than posting online. I know he was always uncomfortable with it, even when he was married. Apparently she would post photos of them from his account and he was always super uncomfortable with it. But yeah....I thought about it again today and it just makes me feel like there’s something seriously wrong with us. His family and friends all know about me, we’re always going out in public, but it just feels strange that we don’t post online. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want sappy posts or anything....I just want the comfort of feeling like we’re “normal” and that it’s not just a huge red flag waving over my head. Okay, I guess that’s it. Thanks for listening! If you have any opinions, please be super gentle so I don’t totally freak out 😅 thank you!!

Hey everyone any tips for Contamination OCD? For example: The sufferer is constantly worried about things such as household chemicals and outside stuff getting on her and then on her stuff and then harming her animals. For example, if she steps on something in the street (something she believes is unsafe like car oil) she worries about it transferring from her shoes to her clothes to her belongings and then to her pets and then she worries about her pets getting sick from it. Because of this she avoids touching some of her belongings (like some of her books) because she worries that she will now think that the "contaminant" is now on the belonging and then she's going to feel tempted to throw it out when she really doesn't want to. Any advice? Tips on how to get this to stop?

I know this is going to seem like reassurance seeking which it 100% is but I’ve been struggling on the same thought for a long time now. The thought of breaking up with my significant other has been going through my head for months now and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him but my OCD is making me feel like I have no choice to and it’s starting to make me feel like that’s my only option to happiness, it’s all starting to feel so real. Any thoughts or advice? Or anyone else go through this or something similar?

I am 19 years old and a virgin and this has been so hard for a long time now. I feel abnormal and i feel like i dont know Who i am Because of my Hocd as well. I Get depressed everytime i am on a date with a guy Because i never feel enough and i just feel paralyzed whenever i get close and intimate. I have always thought that I just haven’t met the right guy but I am starting to doubt that. I don’t want to be asexual or lesbian. It’s so hard, I don’t know who I am.. why can’t I also be like others, enjoying intimacy..

I have harmful thoughts of hurting others. Specifically my family members. Sometimes the thoughts feels like urges to act on the harmful thoughts. Is this normal to feel urges?

why do i get a gronial response when i am afraid or anxious?

I am starting to believe I don’t love my partner like I use to… 😞 it makes me sad but I don’t cry… I feel too normal for this to be ROCD anymore… I know I don’t wanna break up with him bc I know I love him still but how can I get out of feeling as though I really don’t love him? Is this a subtype of ROCD or do I have to say goodbye to the only man I have ever truly loved…. 😭😭😭

18+ only Does anybody with sexual intrusive thoughts get scared that they’ll masturbate to their thoughts? Or that the thoughts really arouse them? because I get groinals and it’s so confusing. But I find the thoughts disgusting and I don’t enjoy the experience of having a groinal response at all.

I crossed the line. I just want to die now. I never wanted this. I hate myself so much. I just wanted to be a good person. I can't anymore the guilt is horrible, and I don't deserve to live.

when you find a child “cute” and ur pocd tries to convince you you’re “attracted” I HATE THIS SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH

LONG STORY AHEAD: Hey everybody, I'm 20m. Turns out I have OCD, and my first battle with it was in 2018, when my father was diagnosed with atrial flutter. I was also sick with a stomach issue of some kind, and felt, "Huh, maybe I should look up symptoms and see." Big mistake. What followed after was months of terror, panic, and depression. I thought I had stomach cancer, colon cancer, brain cancer, etc. And to top it all off, I struggled with my dad's condition, wondering if a boy was gonna lose his biggest hero and best friend. I wondered if he did, would I see him again? Is there a God? Is there purpose? What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose? I started therapy and began to recover bit by bit and it turns out, my dad was alright and I reconnected my faith in God. In July of 2019, I had an intrusive thought about a child performing a sexual act on me which scared the shit out of me. It didn't become an obsession by this time however. A few weeks later, I watched Stranger Things and one of the younger characters wore shorts and their thighs were showing, and I looked at thought, "Am I a pedophile?" Again, I felt extreme terror and anxiety along with many, many disgusting thoughts and feelings. I felt like a monster. I wanted to end my life. I never wanted to hurt a child or have anything bad happen to them, because it's simply wrong and disgusting. The feelings of denial, false attraction, and sensations were fucking awful and I wanted it to end. Things got better but it was a thing I struggled with for a while until early 2021. Finally, I dealt with HOCD in February 2021. I was playing a game and recorded footage. The video game character grunted in pain and my brain immediately said "That's hot." and I was immediately like, ..."am I gay?" Same process. Intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, and images cropped up. I have no problem with homosexuality or anything, I am not a bigot but I just didn't want thoughts like this at all. Immediately after, TOCD began. It was a simple question. "Am I transgender?" after seeing a trans related post on Twitter. I freaked out but was able to put the thought to rest. It returned however, when seeing some of my coworkers talking to each other and feeling alone, my brain said "I bet if I was a girl, they would talk to me." and this freaked me out bad. I didn't want to be a girl, I didn't want to be trans, I wanted to be a man. Ever since then, it's been a very unfun ride. I have to reaffirm to myself and check that I I do in fact, enjoy being a male and don't want to transition or anything like that. But it feels real. It feels like a feminine/female force is inside me now. It is terrifying and enjoyable The thoughts get scary as fuck and it's hard as fuck. I hope someone else experiences this and can relate. Thank you for reading.

Ocd is telling me because I don’t like hook up culture this is proof that it’s not Ocd at all

So today I told ocd to eff off, that I was tired of the lies, doubt, feelings that it gives me. I put my foot down telling it I don't care about anything that has to do with my ocd theme I don't care what you throw at me. It's all irrelevant and it doesn't matter. I don't care how real it seems it only seems real because of the attention and feelings of fear that I give it. I broke the chains of this ball and chain and I am free. Battered and bruised,, but I am free. Don't give up pepole keep on fighting find something that matters to you to hold on too. To give you the strength to keep fighting. Mine was the very thing ocd attacked and that was my son. Fight pepole fight. Much love and encouragement from my behalf to all you warriors!!!!!

So I'll be getting my covid vaccine within the next few weeks. This is hard for me because I'm terrified of side effects of literally everything, and I know that when I get it I'll be so anxious and worried that something bad will happen. I'm still going to get it, because not getting it would not only be avoidance, but it's also just a risk I have to take, as many others have. Anyone else struggle with side effects of things who have gotten the vaccine? How did you handle it?

How do I get over real event/black out OCD? I got a memory of 1.5 years ago. I memory I hadn’t considered since my OCD began. I had recently gotten together with my boyfriend who I am still with. I went out drinking with some friends at their house by myself (stupid I know) I remember the night up until most of the end, when I was with my friend. We were alone briefly, outside. Then I blacked out and woke up in my bed and in my house and didn’t remember how I got home, but I knew my friend had something to do with it. I remember talking to my friend in the morning and he just thanked me for coming over and I thanked him for helping me get home and that was that. I felt guilty for blacking out but never considered that I did anything wrong in that period of time. But I have cheating OCD, so I was worried during the black out period if I did something with my friend to cheat on my bf? I got so paranoid and I didn’t have any memory of any kind of inappropriate behavior other than drinking. Especially because when I get really drunk I fall asleep and fully “black out” . Otherwise I have some flashes of memory here and there. I was also trying to replay the memory (I know it’s a compulsion) and I was starting to distort the memory so I called him. He had assured me I was just passing out from drinking too heavily and he ordered me an Uber home and that I probably fell asleep in the Uber which is why i fully blacked out on the ride home. And that the only time he and I were alone was when he was waiting for my Uber to get me. His story goes along with everything I remember too. Combine that with that I’ve never cheated, I am not attracted to my friend, and I always remember some sort of sexual contact I have with others even when drinking. There are flashes of memory here and there. And that there was no physical evidence left behind of anything. My body was fine the. Next memory, no stains no bruises. Nothing. None of that was present. I know that reaching out was a compulsion, but I had to because it was a real life event that had the potential to be immoral and I feel a duty to pay for any wrong doing I could have committed. I know uncertainty exists, and I will never get 100% certainty on anything. This is the closest I will get to evidence of me not being a cheater. But how can I move on from this? I don’t want to confess to anything I believe I haven’t done. It’s not in my memory, witness testimony, or in my character. I’m just not a cheater. I know that is a compulsion and i will not rope my bf into my obsessions. But that urge is strong. So the question is, how do I move on from this? I want to be able to say “I’m not a cheater, I’ve never cheated” without feeling like a fraud. I feel like a garbage person for not having the confidence in myself and for having to reach out and use the memory of my friend to help me out.

Anyone else with HOCD have the compulsion of looking at women’s chest areas in pictures/videos/etc? Like a form of mental / physical checking to see if you’re attracted / aroused? I do this a lot and as soon as it happens I immediately ruminate and worry and think “I’m not even doing this as a compulsion. I must just enjoy looking there.” 😭