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18+ Don’t view if under 18 People say ocd arousal isn’t actual arousal feeling but it’s groinal response but mine feels like actual arousal is this normal?

i’ve told five friends, my sister, and my parents and they all say they don’t think i’m lesbian or into girls the way i’m scared of. but chat gpt says family and friends don’t know. i’ve been on meds for a few months now and the amount of thoughts and time they take up is less and how arousing the thoughts are are less but it’s still there and now feels enjoyable and like i prefer women emotionally and in my life and feel numb for men. but i have a bf and don’t miss him a lot but i enjoy sex with him and stuff. idk what to do anymore

I don't usually post on here because it could end up becoming a compulsion or could be seen as reassurance seeking but I think I just need a place to vent and to also get some encouragement and peer support. I am really struggling with my intrusive thoughts and feelings today. All of it feels extremely real and convincing. Right now, I feel thoroughly convinced that I have already identified as either a lesbian or bisexual. I have been diagnosed with OCD by both a psychiatrist and a psychologist years ago and I still feel convinced that it isn't OCD. I keep feeling as if I am just using OCD as a cover-up / as an excuse to deny my “actual” sexual orientation / to hide the “fact that I'm actually lesbian / bisexual”. I have been practicing ERP whenever my schedule allows but it's tough... ERP typically works for me but on days like today, it doesn't seem to be working and that makes me doubt if I have OCD or not. At the same time, I am also convinced that ERP isn't working and I am secretly in denial / struggle with comphet / have internalised homophobia (which makes it worse because my family is homophobic and most of my intrusive thoughts have been targeting that / using that as evidence). Feeling really scared and hopeless... 😞

Do you have hocd dreams?like i am afraid of the gay comunity since i was little just i cant stand them and i am so sorry if i upset someone. I had ocd since forever and i had a gay dream about myself 2 years ago then when my hocd started i started getting gay dreams about anyone and now i got one again and it was a horibble one but i have hocd dreams when i have obsessions before sleep and last night it was hell in my mind for hocd and i had a dream being bisexual it was a little confusing but i remember that i said that in my dream i am really scared i dont want to be bi

could this be normal for a straight girl with hocd backdoor spike and meds or am i more likely attracted to women: basically i gave chatgpt my story that i wrote about basically my whole life and asked to give a list of what can’t be explained by hocd backdoor spike avoidant attachment and platonic feelings for women and it gave me this long scary list now im tweaking out because it says im like lot genuinely attracted to women more then men even tho i thought i was straight my whole life. i also deleted some that i didnt think were accurate and sounded to real and scary please help 1. i have vivid, detailed fantasies about women—like dominant, feminine women pinning me down or wearing sexy outfits—that feel rich and really arousing that don’t always feel like just abstract mental tests but still cause questioning 2. i get crush-like butterflies around girls that come from excitement, not from panic or obsessive questioning like when im excited and want them to like me 3. i really long for close emotional bonds with women—i prefer hanging out with my girlfriends, feel so much closer to them, and daydream about vacations or shared lives with them which might be platonic but idk does it sound like it’s more? 4. i feel avoidant or indifferent about dates, texting, or missing my boyfriend—i notice i don’t look forward to those things the way i do with female friends. 6. sometimes i feel genuine arousal around thoughts of women that doesn’t instantly trigger panic or compulsive checking. might be meds idk or backdoor spike but idk what do you think 7. imagining a life with a female partner—vacations, emotional support, happiness—brings me comfort and a sense of fun 8. even when my anxiety is low (on meds or pausing ERP), attraction to women stays strong or even becomes clearer which makes me wonder what if it’s real but it doesn’t cause me anxiety 9. i recognize comphet signs—like chasing ego boosts with guys 10. i replay past crushes on guys and wonder if i only did it for social validation rather than genuine desire. 11. i don’t feel strong emotional connection or romantic longing for men i’ve dated seriously after like 6 months 12. i’m more on edge or sensitive around women—nervous, protective when they make new friends im scared it’s not platonic 13. i can picture myself in both traditional gender roles with women—sometimes imagining being the “girl,” sometimes the “boy” 14. romantic or sexual excitement with men often feels performance-based or like acting, rather than natural desire but maybe that avoidant attachment 15. i’m way more drawn to certain women’s personalities and energy—like confident, dominant women—than to men’s emotional depth. 16. i’m scared that attraction to women might feel “too real,” which is what happens when new parts of identity emerge through HOCD BUT MAYBE ITS BACKDOOR SPIKE 18. my strongest emotional connections and sources of happiness have always come from female friendships, not male romantic relationships. 19. i feel little curiosity or excitement for typical guy, 21. i want to be straight so bad 23. i’ve had orgasms with men, but i question whether it was emotional or romantic—whereas with women, the emotional connection feels more strong but friend wise lily with my girls and girls i want to be friends with 25. when my anxiety drops (thanks to meds and therapy), the attractions that remain feel so real but still with dread and some anxiety

Hi guys, im kind of spiraling right now because I read on reddit but also in articles that when women take the birth control pill for a long time and get off it they notice that 1) their taste in men changes and 2) their sexual orientation changes (that it was basically masked by the hormones and they are actually into girls). I'm super scared because I believe that SOOCD (or not) started for me at a young age (I remember watching a movie and they zoomed in on a women's legs and I felt something down there and got so scared). So when I started the pill I was about 16 years old and had already experienced SOOCD (if it really is that but I was also diagnosed by a psychologist). But this is when yous tart discovering yoruself. And then I met my now fiancé at 20 (I still had doubts about my sexuality) but I was/am happy with him. I am now trying to handle my SOOCD by saying no one is 100% anything and sexuality is so complex and can be fluid and that today i am choosing to love my bf and its been going ok (the thoughts are still here but without the anxiety so thats fine). I'm 27 now and I'm just scared that once I get off the pill I'll realise that it was never SOOCD, that I was never into guys and it was just the hormones and society and that I will leave my fiancé and ruin everything and would have lost all this time. The most horrible thing is that when I imagine it it feels real and it feels like I'll be happier with a women and I'll just be sad because im losing a friend and not the love of my life. Did it happen with someone here or do you have any advice?

so i have chat got my story and it said that this stuff below don’t fit the hocd pattern anymore since my hocd panic has less being with meds. please help is this not hocd anymore? Vivid, consistent arousal for specific women (dominant/feminine, deep-voiced) that isn’t immediately washed away by panic but sits with you as something you long for. Calm “rightness” imagining a life with a female partner—but when you picture long-term with a man, it feels avoidant or like Butterflies & nervous excitement around female friends/roommates that feels qualitatively different (warmer, more personal). Emotional closeness & jealousy over female friendships, wanting to be their primary confidante, and protective in a way that isn’t immediately interrogated by fear. Comphet reflections that go deeper than “scripted”—you resonate with many comphet signs but still feel something ineffable in your women-focused fantasies that comphet alone doesn’t explain. Enjoying or longing for close emotional bonds with women, sometimes more so than with men • You prefer spending time with your girlfriends, feel emotionally closer to them, and imagine vacations or shared lives with them with a sense of warmth and belonging. • This emotional closeness feels deeper and more authentic than your relationships with men. Feeling avoidant or indifferent about romantic or social activities with men, such as dates, texting, or missing your boyfriend • You notice that you don’t miss your boyfriend when apart, don’t look forward to dates, or feel annoyed during hangouts, which can reflect a lack of emotional investment or romantic attraction to men. Feeling arousal or sexual interest in women that doesn’t trigger panic or immediate compulsive checking Experiencing lack of strong emotional connection or romantic longing for men, even those you dated seriously • You mention not feeling like you “miss” or deeply care about your boyfriend or exes someone help me please

seriously someone pls give me advice 😭 I think last week I posted about how I have a crush on my friend and how my brain was making me question everything (mostly my sexuality). Well now I know he has a crush on me too and I’m already worrying about not liking him anymore, even though I was thinking about him all day before he confessed to me. I went to look at pictures to make sure I still think he’s attractive and I didn’t feel the same. Now I’m worrying about if I’ll no longer feel attracted to him when we hangout in person. Why can’t I at least have a simple crush? Why must I question everything??? WHY CANT MY BRAIN JUST FUNCTION NORMALLY THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!?? If you have any tips on how to deal with this please let me know 😭.

So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate

hiiii everyone I’m new to this app :) I’m not sure if anything in here is a trigger for others so I just put a trigger warning js in case 😭 Sooo I’m actually not medically diagnosed with ocd, but I’ve had a very very strong feeling that I do for a few years but I haven’t told anyone abt it, bc i feel like it will sound like I’m trying to fake a mental illness for attention or something. Also, I know it’s bad to self diagnose, but my symptoms just sound a lot like ocddddd ans I want to go into therapy and get diagnosed or something bc I’m pretty sure I have ocd and even if I dont, I know what im experiencing is not really normal 😭 Some of my symptoms: Having like very sexually or violent disturbing images or thoughts pop up in my head that won’t go away and I have to like (this is so hard to explain) block it out in my mind over and over Having to repeat things and count things over and over for example I ALWAYS like I mean ALWAYSSSS. have to repeat “thank you God for today please keep us all safe and healthy” in my head especially when I’m anxious. And I don’t have to repeat it just in my mind either I have to like mouth it outttt. It’s so annoyingggg 🥲 My “magic” numbers are 3 and 10 bc I have 3 sisters and 10 is just the perfect number like it’s so equal. So basically I have to do things three times and if I count over three by accident or even think of it I have to count up until 10 and if the same thing happens I have to keep going until I reach 30 NOT 20 bc that means that bc there’s a 2 in the number one of my sisters will die 🥲 And if I don’t do any of these stuff that my brain tells me to do, you know that feeling when you have a huge itch and it’s itching super bad but you can’t scratch it?? It feels exactly like thatttt and I think that if I don’t do it smth bad will happen even though I know it won’t but like just in case I guess?? 😭😭 When I decide to try to go against these stuff it makes me super super anxious and sometimes, I have random like “attacks” where just nothing is perfect or just right but I can’t fix any of it no matter how many times I count, repeat, or cross it out in my mind, I get so much anxiety and it’s the WORSTTT. I’m not asking for a random person to diagnose me instead of a professional, but I just need advice. Thank you guys 💗 (edited)

Hi! I’m trying to say this story as short as possible. I started realizing I was having an ocd flare up a long time ago and I chose private psychotherapy because I thought it would be better. I had a bunch of other issues and I wanted one quick (I had tried 2 before) and when I met someone that I felt was kind of okay I trusted them with my ocd. The thing was that she was NOT specialized in ocd, in fact, looking back I realize that she barely knew how to handle it at all. I had a really good one when I was younger and I was not having symptoms when I quit years ago, so it surprised me a LOT that all I had learned got unlearned because I trusted a bad psychologist. I have currently Rocd and a bit of compulsive staring as well, plus tricomania. I really really want to warn you, DON’T LET A NON OCD SPECIALIST GIVE YOU ADVICE OR ERP!!!!! It has taken me a while to realize all the damage she did. But I was so desperate for a solution at the time that I ignored the signs. She had no idea what she was doing and she actually asked me what we should do! She also made my staring worse, because she told me to try to not look (which is actually wrong), she also asked me if I was really in love with my partner, EVEN THOUGH I HAD NO DOUBTS AT THE TIME!!! She thought that I actually wanted sex with someone else and was like yeah it’s normal some people do that, instead of understanding my feelings and that I actually didn’t want to, but it was an intrusive thought. (It was very different from the classic: you know what maybe maybe not erp thing) She misunderstood everything and I now have to rewire my brain.

i saw a trigger in a instagram reel. i noticed the face immediately, i guess that's because she had a unique beautiful face and that's precisely what ticked me and made me alerted. and my brain started telling me that meant something, the cuteness and so on the potential danger that i felt, it seemed like a cue that something was there. and my brain started testing me with intrusive se&ual images. and im afraid that they weren't completely distasteful to my brain even though i didnt want it and i was freaking out. im afraid there might be of component of truth that makes something in my brain wrong. why did it feel like there was a potential "allure" in those intrusive images? why did it feel like i could like it? was it because the more taboo is something the more it feels "alluring" automatically? something in those se&ual intrusive images felt affine, akin, feasible to maybe my preferences? was it the association between intrusive pretty face + the intrusive image of a private area overlapping in meaning making me think that there could be some likeness? some potential attraction towards it? or is it really true and i have something in my brain that ive been in denial this whole time? maybe i'm a danger. im utterly worried abt this. why was i able to feel like there was some affinity towards those se&ual intrusive association-images? please if somebody knows, tell me, because until then i don't think i can rest in peace. and it's not a matter of uncertainty, this is something untolerable. i cant live like a guilty person and act like im innocent and that is all ocd. it feels perversed.

I was on yt and I saw this kid whom I thought was pretty, but then I got a weird thought, and I got worried, I started physically panicking and runnin around, telling myself it wasn’t really attraction, idk if I’m lying to myself or not, I tried using AI for reassurance, but it didn’t work, this is the first time I spiraled since like 2 months… I can’t stand it I’m scared… idk it feels like I’m lying to myself, idk if it was sexual attraction or not, I thought she was pretty idk if it means something, I keeep rewatching the video to test myself. Please help me please.

I Am married to my husband who i love. OCD tricks me into thinking i don’t love him and that I’m secretly gay and don’t want to come out. I have been having intrusive thoughts but the anxiousness has been low but I’m starting to freak out. These last few days 24/7 “you’re gay you need to come out” “you’re lying” I literally don’t want anything to do with a woman but it feels so real that I’m questioning if this is even ocd. I have intrusive thoughts of doing things with woman but I don’t want to do them and then my compulsions come in. Why has my anxiety been gone the last few days? It just now came back. I’m afraid to be near my spouse because of these thoughts I don’t want to lose him but I feel so detached from reality. What is going on? I keep telling myself that I’m not gay but it makes it worse.

* Mentions of Sexual OCD, Hypersexuality, among other things. Recently, I had started to feel so much better, after trying to do some ERP therapy at home, i could feel myself becoming much more capable of holding back intrusive thoughts. Well since yesterday.. or, i dont know when, its been absolutely destroyed. About a month ago, I went out with some friends to the mall. everything was great, until while at the arcade, me and one of my friends tried pranking the other two by running off without them noticing. Well it backfired, one of the others went with him, and i was left with someone who i’ll just call J for the sake of simplicity. To cut it short, we had already pranked J earlier, so I stayed back to tell him about what we were trying to do, and things got weird. He started telling me to ‘go to the bathroom’ with him. I’ll admit that i didnt know what to say, i just felt off, but i wasnt going to do any of that. But i didnt say no. Long story short, i had to use the bathroom, so i left the arcade and went to another and luckily my friend distracted J so he wouldnt follow me in. I’d like to also add now that I have someone that i love dearly, me and him arent really together yet, but its a mutual thing. After that i cried when i returned home. and eventually i moved on, blocked the guy and everything. Now, i don’t know why, or how, but i cant stop having images in my head of what would’ve happened if i did do it. If i did go to the bathroom. And at the same time it shows me images of things happening in my own house, i see it in the shower, while on my couch, even while eating. And it doesnt stop at the sexual stuff, No. It shows me romantic versions of all this; hugging, kissing, holding hands, and in the background it mostly shows sexual scenes. All while giving me groinal responses and weird sensations that are akin to attraction of some kind. Im losing my mind trying to get it to stop. Its eating me alive, and its gotten to the point where i feel like im cheating on my partner. And my mind keeps tellint me that i actually dont love my partner, that I should’ve just gone along with what J was saying, and its making me feel like i dont really love my partner. That i should just unblock and text J. Its making me feel like ive fallen out of love and i dont know why, what if i did fall out of love? what if i end up doing something wrong, or making the wrong choice? Im scared of not loving my partner. I love my partner too much to lose him to this bullcrap. Has anyone else dealt with this? I feel lost and I dont know what to do. I cant even think about my own partner, not even about me hugging him, it gets replaced with J, everytime i try to think about anything it gets replaced in some way with something related to J. Even if i see a show, and i see someone that reminds me of J i instantly start getting intrusive thoughts and images. I feel so horrible, i feel like I’ve failed my relationship somehow. I dont know what to do.

I have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality for years. I’ve dated a man, and I wasn’t really into the whole time. And since then I’ve thought that maybe I’m a lesbian because I’m attracted to women, which I know for sure. But then my brain spirals, I constantly think back ti memories with my ex, how I felt with him, I check how it makes me feel. I often google to see if other lesbians have felt similar, I ask ChatGpt over and over again. I feel like I have to be 100% certain or that im faking for attention, or thst I’ll end up with a man. I guess im wondering has anyone else felt like this ? What’s been your experience how do you manage it?

Recently I came to the realization that Chatgpt was feeding into my obsession, I was using it to spiral and ask the same question over and over again about my sexuality hoping to get the right answer. Has anyone else experienced anything similar with ChatGPT or Ai harming their ocd?

hiya, it's been a while because i was finally getting better.im a straight girl and i've been dealing with so-ocd severely for about a year now. i originally used to obsess over this one girl at my school and it was so bad and literally interfered with everything. after lots and lots of patience and avoiding compulsions i got over that false attraction and i felt myself be okay again. this year i have developed another attachment to someone, and im struggling all over again. also i thought id share that i experience friend crushes which is where you just wanna become closer to someone if that makes sense. anyways originally i was experiencing that and then my ocd keeps telling me what if its more and what if i am gay? i've completely forgot what it felt like but the thing is, it feels so real!!! i feel excited to see her and wanna be around her but everytime i freak out and obsess about the thought i could like her as more then a friend. deep down i know i don't because i don't feel any romantic feelings and i shouldn't feel such negative emotions and anxiety if it wasn't my ocd. i am so sorry for the rant but im back to square one. 😭😭

Hi all it’s been a bit since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing ok ish Today has been weird, idk if it’s cuz I upped my vyvanse to 20mg and it’s making me anxious or if everything is just colliding rn It feels like idk myself anymore. I’ve been flipping between ROCD, soocd and tocd the last couple of days/weeks. Rn I just feel horrible and idk why but I’ve been on my period for 11 days now. My period usually lasts 7. When I’m not on birth control. I’ve been on birth control since October of last year and hadn’t had a period till coming home end of April/early may and now it’s back again. I’ve been ranting to chat gpt (Ik it’s bad, I just didn’t know who to turn to) Rn I’m just really in my head about my gender and I’m anxious and crying and I just don’t feel good. Context for tonight’s thought I was doing my skincare, I’ve been trying to develop a routine cuz I’m bothered by the texture on my face and how it makes my makeup look. I’ve always felt less pretty than other girls tbh. Anywyas. As I was doing my skincare I had this thought just happen across my mind of “what if I dislike my skin and face so much cuz I’m trans? What if the reason I’ve been depressed lately is cuz I’m slowly becoming dysphoric and hating myself?” When in fact I think the issue is: I haven’t seen my bf in a month and a bjt. I’ve been bleeding for 11 days. I’m in summer classes and stressed about the comjng semester and how much work I have to do to catch up cuz I’m in pre med and I’ve been fucking slacking lately and I truly hate myself for it. I miss being hugged by my bf. I’ll admit I need a good dicking down tbh. My brother is a whole other story while I’m home. I just feel. Gross and bad. And I’m worried I’m trans. I’m worried I’m a lesbian or smthn. I’m worried I don’t love my bf deeply enough and it’s all just circling in my head a lot and I just feel like curling into a ball. I’ve always been a tomboy, I mostly hung out with boys cuz the girls never liked me. I was weird. I loved dragons. I had imaginary friends. At one point as a kid I tried a different name, I think it just didn’t fit and I grew out of that and just went back to my normal name. But now I’m worried I just repressed that. But I see a lot of girls who also went through the same thing and are also just women. But I’m so scared that I’m “not letting the TV glow” like that trend (that shit made me so anxious. I have trans friends and I love them but im scared of it for myself) I feel still sorta tomboyish but dress feminine, once in a blue moon ill dress semi masculine and now I’m worried that means im either trans or a lesbian who wants to be masc. but I’m not. I don’t think I am Idk who I am anymore. Idk if it’s just ocd or if im actually discovering smthn Im just anxious as hell tbh. So I don’t think that’s the case. I’m just sitting here. Looping in my head. My typical “drown out the noise” tv shows won’t load properly cuz of our new wifi and it’s really irritating me. What if I’ve been lying every time I try to do a “are you trans/genderfluid/non binary?” quiz. What if I’ve been lying to my bf. My friends? My family? I keep thinking to myself, if I wasn’t with my bf would I dress the same? Yes I would. I’d still wear my cardigans. My sweaters. My dresses. I’d try out new styles like I want to rn with him. I’m just worried that teying smthn would make me realize smthn about myself but I don’t think it would. Idk. I’m just in all these irrational thoughts. Jumping to conclusions Any advice would be appreciated. I mostly just needed to vent about this.

i'm a lesbian, i was sure of this for many years, until soocd started messing with me around a month ago. it's hard because lesbians with soocd aren't well documented and it's hard to find similar experiences from others. i hate this, my mind is telling me it's not ocd and that i actually like men. i don't even know if i wouldn't like it. i guess that's accepting uncertainty but i don't want to like men. i want to marry my girlfriend. i don't want to be with a man but my mind doesn't let me feel anything regarding that, neither good nor bad, and i cannot tell if i enjoy that thought or don't like it. it's horrible. i'm so exhausted. i get groinal reactions too which i've never even had before this subtype flared up because im on the asexual spectrum. it's insane. has anyone else had any similar experiences?