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“Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on discipline.” -Jocko Willnik

Are there any other Christians struggling with Real Event OCD? Specifically being able to differentiate between if it’s the OCD making me feel like I need to confess to more people or if it’s actually guilt coming from the Holy Spirit that is trying to convict me so that I will talk with elders in the church or something, etc.? For a tad more information in case it helps you respond to me- The “real event” wasn’t any action(s) that I committed. It was just thoughts/feelings that I had that were inappropriate. I never acted on them and never would. I even prayed them away when I had them at times, but I don’t think it’s fair to call them intrusive either. I feel like they were my thoughts/feelings. I already confessed to my husband 728734 times and will be talking to a counselor in January (first she had available), but in the mean time I am struggling very, very badly. It’s led me to being very depressed and my mind constantly swirling like a tornado. It’s also led to lots of other “themes”… also, I’m new to OCD. I’ve only been seen in the past professionally very briefly for “general anxiety” although it’s starting to become clear to me that I’ve had OCD all along.

I finally have a logical explanation on my ongoing ocd real events. My brain is calmer rn but after an hour it comes back with guilt thoughts and I have to explain myself I’m not that guilty how my brain wants me to be, this has worked for me for a couple of hours today now.. I feel a bit of relief

QUESTION: Do you find your OCD works in cycles? i.e~ Good for a week or so then comes back for a week or so. Looking for input.

Hey, I would love some advice on how people stay discipline with doing their exposures and resisting their compulsions. I really do believe erp and NOCD really works but it’s hard to stay disciplined when your whole mind is against you, especially on the days you feel like you don’t deserve treatment. I understand ERP is a behavioral treatment and it’s about doing the exercises regardless of how you feel. Would love some tips on how everyone stays disciplined!

anyone else feel their ocd intrusive thoughts get worse at night during the night and then when they first wake up?

QOTD: “What if it could turn out better than you could ever imagine”. A lot of the times recovering from OCD is spent wishing for your old life and in negative thinking and we often forget how great the future could and will be. Today lets forget the negative thoughts and focus on positive ones! We only got one life lets make it amazing.

Great my OCD has been triggered again because I read 'If you're not sexually attracted to someone you should let them go' but im not really ready for stuff like that and I want to take things slow since I've never had sex before

I'm getting mad at my ocd. But it seems like that's making it worse. But why though? Isn't disagreeing with it good? cuz I'm not believing what it says?

Reminder to never give in to your compulsions. I know you are desperate for relief, but it's really not worth giving in. Instead, resist until the urge falls, then you'll realise that compulsions aren't necessary.

Am i doing ERP correctly? I am doing ERP as I type this (shit maybe I should be online right now) but one thought occured to me as im bringing these images to my head. Am I supposed to tell myself I like them and sit with them? What if that changes my whole perspective on what I'm trying to avoid lmao. Or do I tell myself i might like it? Do I stick with my values and just ride the thought out? And also last question, should I keep trying to pull disturbing thoughts into my head? I feel like when I do that I create new disturbing thoughts because I overthink when doing ERP. Unfortunately I can't afford a therapist and I'm going off of things I read online so id rly appreciate some help :(

I removed gluten from diet, m ocd free within 1 week. I sufferred for 20 yrs, tried everything imaginable.

Can ocd make you question whether you like or hate someone like your mother and then that ties into my big overall harm theme. It’s really scary cause the unconditional love that I felt for her has now been replaced by the realness that I don’t love her and I hate her. Does anyone else go through this?

Does online relationships also count in the spectrum of ROCD? I've been dating her online for almost 3 years now and I've had my ups and downs fighting my OCD. Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's gone for a short span of weeks. I know I do love her even if I don't see her everyday. It is down to a choice, which I chose to love her.

im medicated but my ocd keeps telling me that i dont need it cuz i dont actually have ocd. so i havent been taking it as often as i should be. does anyone know how combat this feeling? any tips?

I feel guilty after doing a compulsion

I haven’t had pocd in a few months if not a year, but i was on tik tok last night and there was this cute kid and my brain goes “you find that kid attracted.” which i don’t and then i got a groinal response, but i’m going to accept uncertainty! anyone else get this?

My harm ocd and sexual intrusive thoughts are so bad that i cant even look at somebody attractive anymore without thinking i might do something bad to them. Its really destroying me right now smh

Any Christians with ocd? It’s really been attacking my faith

There’s apart of me that is really scared to heal. Obviously I want to heal deep down but change is so scary to me at this point I’ve been living with it for so long what would life be like without it. Idk that sounds weird cuz it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me but idk. Does anyone feel the same ?

Why don’t I have a crush? Is there something wrong with me? Like I got close to a guy but then lost feelings completely. Idk he just wasn’t my type and it gets me stressing out like what if that means what my ocd is telling me. I can’t stop thinking about it

I kept telling myself over and over again… that I wasn’t in love with him… I kept telling myself I wanted to break up to see my reaction but now it’s like I don’t have a reaction anymore that ROCD has disappeared… yesterday I kept hearing my brain say ex or feeling like I truly wanted to run… it’s like I am in denial everyday… I don’t like this… 😞 I don’t wanna feel this way I have moments where I feel love and I’m happy…. But why can’t I feel that way all the time… I feel too normal TOO NORMAL… I hate it…

Any tips for harm ocd centered towards a loved one, like for me is my mother. Any tips for when it feels real and like your actually going to act on your thoughts and that really terrifies you.

pocd tw sometimes the shock and disgust of pocd triggers can feel like excitement and arousal! very distressing and hard to navigate.

TW* I think even if I had not developed hocd I still wouldve found out Im gay. I think i accidentally got hocd, at first thats what I thought It was but a year and half later its not it. Every morning and throughout the day I get these small realizations that I am gay and once I accept it most my problems will be solved. It also explains why during all my interactions with women before ocd I felt strange feelings and some other weird unexplained thoughts that I used to get. It all makes sense. Im just depressed and feel anxiety about this all man. I dont know what to do. Im wasting so much time, someone please talk to me

Hi everyone! Well.....I have been doing my erp religiously the last couple of weeks and yesterday I had an epiphany whilst walking along the beach!!!!! I realised all of a sudden that this is all OCD and nothing else! It was amazing ! Today I have continued with my erp but it hasnt taken me half as long. The thoughts were feeling a little more 'real' today but I am persevering! Does anyone else have moments like this when you get clarity? I am determined to keep feeling well from this moment on and will keep doing the erp no matter how hard it is. Although the thoughts seemed more 'real' today I know eventually I will not feel like this as I will be able to let them pass. Anyone else want to share their story with erp? Thank you!!!!!! Together we will beat this! Xx

Was stressing about my OCD a lot, staying up researching it and now I feel that it is too early in the morning for me to become tired and sleep, anyone else gone through this?

Does anyone else wish they could go into a coma? I don’t want to die I just don’t want to be awake or aware. I want that level of unconsciousness where you don’t even dream

Today, I promise to let go of doubts, intrusive thoughts, images, urges, and feelings. Today, my theme song is LET IT GO cuz the STORM DOESNT BOTHER ME ANYWAY 🤣

Hey everyone, I think that I have the sexual orientation ocd, Ik I’m a lesbian, but I doubt it when I think a guy is handsome, I’ve read about it and it turned out that it’s called “aesthetic attraction” which means being attracted to the looks, but I still keep imagining weather I wanna be with a sexual relationship with a guy or not (although Ik I don’t want to be in one) and the thought keeps reoccurring, if someone have this type ocd, can they help me please

Lets have a great day today! Lets focus on ourselves and make choices for you not your OCD! Lets say thanks for all the hardwork weve done today!

Took four years but finally finished my fantasy book. Ocd made it extremely difficult but it’s done.

Why does harm ocd make you feel dangerous like your going to snap at any given moment and you can’t even trust yourself and it all just feels very real and like you want to be this evil person?

I’m having a huge ocd episode rn because I fell asleep and woke up feeling very tired but because I felt ‘off’ my ocd didn’t like that and is going absolutely crazy rn. I think it’s also from eating too much sugar but I keep getting thoughts like “this is going to happen” “it will happen” right before I fall asleep it’s scaring the crap out of me. I wake up and I feel like I’m gonna have a huge panic attack. And my ocd is like “you’re gonna go crazy” Can anyone plz help? :(

What’s a phrase or anything in general that helped you when your harm OCD or OCD in general was giving you a hard time? Something that motivates you to know that we will overcome this!

Ok so I’ve been struggling with ROCD. I found my old Nintendo DS and I’ve been playing Pokémon on it. Idk why but it has like drastically reduced ocd symptoms. Like I feel like I’m putting a lot of obsessive energy into the game like I have to do things in an order in the game. Just wanted to share with y’all.

The toughest thing ive come to realize in OCD recovery is that the thoughts don’t go away. We can get to the point where we are comfortable and happy with our recovery but the thoughts never go away and every once and a while they slip and itll cause u too react. Just something ive noticed.

It feels like my intrusive thoughts are mostly all my mind can think of now. I don’t even remember things that i use to think of in different situations

Does anyone get it when you always feel like your lieing to yourself you say something head makes you feel different or constant same thing tell you you want certain things and you don’t so you baiscally arguing withy your head to shut up

Does exercising/ eating healthy help ocd & anxiety?

Reminder: we usually forget but there is no reason why you must not have flaws. You’re allowed to make mistakes. And judge those mistakes without judging your totality as a human being. Because you’re far too complex for that. I think people with Ocd tend to make a bad choice and then think of themselves as bad. And there’s this conflict because we don’t want to accept we’re bad but we see the mistake as bad. Accept the mistake and don’t rate your entire self because of it. Black and white thinking is really hard to shake but you have to because the world is full of gray area. And there’s freedom in that.

Mindful meditation help for ocd intrusive thoughts? If so any good apps? Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Is it normal for a person rocd to feel like they are bored at their partner in the call?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I hope everyone has a blessed day and remember you are not alone! Don’t let OCD ruin your day! God bless you all 🙏🏻🦃🍁

I don't know who I am ?....I don't know what to do it feels as tho I want to date men and maybe be with them . But it makes me so sad and confused 😞

I’m crying so much right now. Thoughts about being stuck with OCD forever. My intrusive thoughts aren’t even causing anxiety, they just make me cry. I can’t seem to recognize if I’m doing compulsions. I feel like I’m doing ERP wrong. My OCD tells me I don’t deserve to be happy or to be surrounded by people I care about. I really want this to be over but I don’t see an end in sight. Please God just make this pain go away. I’m so tired. Sorry for such a depressing post on the holidays but I’m just feeling so alone and I feel so lost.

Should we avoid our triggers or face them specially when trigger is a person. I avoid triggers and feels good but as soon as i face them, i started to panic. What will you do if you were in my place.

Some days I feel completely helpless. How do I know that I'm not in denial or it's hocd ?

Okay so I’m trying to accept it but it’s just making me feel depressed. I don’t want it. I want to be happy with my girlfriend again. She was the most important thing in my life and then the OCD hit back like it did when I was a child. And brought up all these insecurities that I had made piece with or hadn’t even realised I had. Now there feels like there’s a glass screen between me and her when she talks about our future I feel like a fraud. I hate ocd. Even if I have been in denial my whole life (which I didn’t think I was) I was happy and content and confident in myself. Now it’s all gone, and it feels like I have no choice but to just tell the ocd it was right all along and live that life because that’s what it feels like I want. But I don’t know what’s me and what’s ocd anymore (even saying that sounds like a lie).

I feel like it’s not mentioned enough that when you first start OCD therapy you feel much much worse. Your OCD goes into full blown panic/tantrum mode trying to get you back to doing your compulsions and will through up the most terrifying, disturbing, agonizing content to get you there. Don’t give in. Push past what you think you’re limits are. Your OCD decided those limits and it’s the reason your stuck here. You can overcome this

Currently going through a deep sadness about my intrusive thoughts surrounding false memory and real event OCD. I feel a deep hurt and sadness. I'm holding on and trying to live my life... and some days are less difficult and I feel hope and other days I feel this enormous weight on my mind and shoulders. I haven't slept all night which also makes me more emotional I'm sure. But I can't help but feel this deep sadness today. I didn't feel it all day but I did feel it kind of linger in the background as I was going through my day and then I couldn't help but break down a little bit. I will keep working towards getting better. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I will ever feel better and I get really sad and scared and other times I have hope.

Physical symptoms? Last year I had terrible physical ailments: brain fog, super nauseous, felt like fainting, dizzy, fatigued, chest pain, etc. It didn’t seem to change with diet and I got alllllll the tests which found nothing. It went on for probably 6 months. Then my OCD flared up in an old theme and the physical symptoms basically went away. I was just suffering severe mental distress. Since doing ERP and breaking free from that (thank you, Monique!!) it’s been a few months and I am having some of those physical symptoms again. Can anyone relate?? Is it a subconscious OCD thing to manifest physically? I am certainly anxious about the symptoms when they’re happening because they’re intense, but I don’t feel anxious before they come on.

I feel like i’m going to throw up because I feel so anxious. I just can’t remember if things happened the way I think they did or if my OCD has convinced me otherwise. I just don’t even know whats real anymore and it’s causing me to be really stressed.

How to help a compulsive social media use? I keep trying to take breaks and stuff but this is one habit I do compulsively I think to validation seek that people still like me and think i’m a good person. I also have alot of OCD stemming from social anxiety so I am obsessed with trying to control how other people perceive me and use my social media posting as a way to try to control that narrative. Any exposure ideas? I worked with my therapist before and it was like tweeting something that made no sense and then logging off kind of thing. I constantly tweet and delete things because think i’m being embarrassing or annoying or people could take it the wrong way. It’s really exhausting and also I feel embarrassed I have such a public compulsion so I try to weirdly make up for that by acknowledging that I tweet too much or making jokes ab tweeting and deleting or that im being crazy so it’s like better because I’m self aware somehow? Idek how can I let go of this need to control being perceived? I think about how people might talk about me or look at me when i’m not around and it makes me want to throw up, I’m constantly trying to fight the narrative I believe other people might think of me.

I've been feeling so bad these last few days. it's like there's something bothering me, but i don't know what it is. my ocd got worse, my anxiety is stronger than ever and my depression won't let me get out of bed. I want to do so many things, but I'm stuck in my bed with an agony inside my heart and my head, that won't leave me alone.

did the pandemic make your ocd worse? how so? talk to me about it

Anyone experienced not feeling like them self and freaking out about it .

i met someone online last year and finally got to meet each other a few time this year. as we facetime and chat i know i have feelings for him, like they’re “more than friends” feelings, but when i’ve seen him in person i honestly don’t feel a cosmic connection you know, and idk if that could be rocd because i’m trying to prove myself that i do feel something spectacular when i’m with him but it’s honestly not as big as i’d thought it would be! can anyone relate and give me some advice please? thanks<3

Does anyone feel like this has just been realisation the whole time and you’ve just been suppressing it?

is it normal for obsessions to change? i haven't seen a therapist but sometimes i feel like my intrusive thoughts are dying down over another subject. now i don't think that's happening to my current obsession. it's still very prominent and a pain in my back but is it normal for obsessions to change with out ERP or seeing a therapist?

Any tips on things we can do to help our partners understand what we are going through. My boyfriend is super supportive and feels for me, but I feel like I’m such a burden with everything and some days I’m so irritable and feel like he’s eventually going to get sick of it. I tell him I wish he could be with someone as carefree as he is and not someone with real event OCD who dwells on everything from the past

it feels like i have to let them go but i can’t

G’morning my friends. You’re a day closer to recovery than you were yesterday. I’m glad you’re here 🌱

Sometimes I think my rocd have too little physical anxiety to be rocd... Like, I am still able to go to work (even it's lie hell) and for most of time I can pretend everything is ok.

Recently I think I have become numb to my ocd thoughts. I have harm ocd and for the past few days I’ve noticed that the thoughts don’t give me anxiety and that scares me because I don’t know if that means that I want the thoughts or that I am the thoughts and because I feel numb I try to feel something to validate whether or not I have ocd even though I’m diagnosed. The numbness almost feels like I’m tired to even try and solve this problem and I’m scared cause I have my first session with my new therapist tomorrow so I’m worried she’s going to tell me I don’t have OCD.

It’s hurts so much. It won’t go away no matter what I do or what anyone tells me. I’m a failure and my mind keeps telling me I’m a monster who needs to be punished over a mistake I made maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I don’t remember when exactly but I do know I had no bad intentions back then and I certainly don’t now. I was so stupid. I should of known better but it didn’t even cross my mind! How could I have been so dumb! I’ve talked to my mom and my first therapist about it but it just stays there in my head haunting me in every way it can and honestly I can’t take it anymore. I’m scared. I’m terrified. I’m exhausted and I just want it to go away. It really really hurts. How could I have been so stupid back then!? Why?! I’m at the end of my rope I can’t take much more 💔

I wanted to start this off by saying my experience is not everyone's, and by not experience this how I do does not mean you don't have POCD. In my experience with OCD and specifically POCD, it feels like I'm playing a game of chess with myself. Like literally, I'm on both sides of the chess board, moving both sets of pieces. The only thing is, my POCD is controlling one set, and the part of me that is typing this is playing the other. The thing is though, the side that wants to win the hardest is the POCD. And it is more then happy to not play the game fairly. It tells me to trust it and move my pieces into traps that I KNOW are bad moves. But because I trust it I play along and get stabbed in the back everytime. The OCD tells me, "hey, move your rook there, it's a good move." And I do, then it takes me with a pawn. Not only making the game harder to win but also degrading me in the process, making me more desperate. That's what this does. It makes us engage in an intrusive thought, pushes us to walk into a trap by reassuring ourselves ( like moving the rook ), and the crushes us with more doubts, spiraling us deeper into this game of chess. Where we aren't playing, we are just hanging on. Sure, you may win a game once in a while, with logic and reassurance. But you will lose the majority. And the more you sit down to play that game of chess where the odds are stacked up against you, the more you will lose. I challenge you to not even sit down. To see the game, acknowledge it and let it go. Be comfortable in the uncertainty that you could have won or lost. Let your POCD get bored and move on too. Walk right past it and let the thought be, don't give it meaning, don't play the game. THAT, is how you win the game. By not even playing. I hope this helped some of you like it helped me.

This is kind of hard to talk about online but I have really been struggling in my sex life because I keep on getting intrusive thoughts and/or images in my mind. It just keeps getting worse and I just want it to stop. Can anyone relate?

I can’t stop overthinking… I feel like i’m going insane :(

Groinal responses really hold me back :( it’s what makes me feel like I’m just in denial

First let me apologize if this question comes off as insensitive. Does anyone worry about their future? Or if they can even have one? It feels like my life is going nowhere, since I’m constantly anxious, exhausted and not very motivated—even though part of me wants to get a job and work and help my family. But I’m scared for multiple reasons: what if it’s not OCD, what if I’m not good enough, what if I end up not doing anything with my life, and what if I just can’t handle it.

Anyone else’s Harm OCD “Backdoor Spiking” with both Thanksgiving and the Holidays upon us? My one year anniversary is this time of year from when I first started to have a break with Harm OCD, followed by my first onset episode; where I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation because of what was then labeled as “Homicidal Ideation,” but in reality was Harm OCD and before becoming officially diagnosed. I know both the one year anniversary and also the pre/Holiday season being upon me/us is the main trigger, but haven’t posted in ex amount of time and would like to know if anyone else can relate? Not seeking nor looking for reassurance. Happy Thanksgiving to all those apart of the OCD community using NOCD. Sending you all love, compassion and support 💌

Any thoughts on how to stop yourself from asking for reassurance?

For ppl with pocd who worked with kids before you had pocd? I just noticed a lot of ppl with it seem to have worked with kids so I just thought I’d ask

Brothers and sisters today I strongly decided to break ocd rules and just live, it's not easy and a few compulsions have slipped up but I prayed to God for grace to be able to do the therapy He sent me, I encourage you to do the same, let God guide your steps to recovery He will not lead you astray. God bless you, don't be afraid!

I’m eighteen and have had harm OCD since august. I’m in therapy but every time I feel good and try to act like myself I sometimes feel sick because I feel like this isn’t my true self. When I also get calls from friends I feel anxious because they don’t know about my ocd. So I feel like that guilt for not replying to them when my ocd was really bad and debilitating. And now when I get their calls it makes me feel sad because it reminds me of who I used to be and how I didn’t have to worry about or even had the ocd thoughts of hurting someone. I sometimes feel like I lost those memories of being just a teenager. This is why I hold back on hanging out with them but I’m working on not holding back anymore. Does anyone else experience the same thing?

Anyone feel like ocd has made you question your values? I hear a sad story, before I can even feel sympathetic my ocd beats me to it and says “oh you don’t care, you don’t feel bad” or now every time I see puppies and before ocd would’ve thought about how cute they are, now my ocd says “you don’t find them cute, you don’t love dogs” like ugh can I just feel my real thoughts again please? Ocd interferes with everything. Anyone relate?

I keep getting stuck in a checking loop at work (unable to send emails, after reading over and over, spending loads of time over every word and it’s meaning) I know I’m supposed to just practice the thing with out compulsions but not sure I’m quite there yet…/finding it super hard to get out of the loop!! Any tips from anyone in similar situations with checking v much appreciated!

Anyone suffer from cheating OCD (fears that you could have cheated in the past)? How do I deal with it?

so for those of us who got OCD as a child and are recovering as adults do you feel like you're catching up on childhood stuff now? sleepovers, movies and TV shows, books and toys and games? friendship and puppy love? stuff you didn't fully get to experience but you are now? I feel like I'm moving backwards. I didn't get a childhood so I'm having one now at 23 now that I'm better. Is that accurate to you too?

I had a really good session with my OCD therapist yesterday and she said something that I found really helpful. She told me that “As long as I keep trying to figure things out, then my ocd symptoms will get stronger.” I encourage everyone to wake up this morning and live rather than trying to figure how to respond to an intrusive thought, image, or memory in your head or figure what it means. When you stop trying to figure it out then it means nothing. Stay encouraged and I will try to as well!

What should I do, if the idea of seeing him don't make me enthusiasts, but also I know that if I force myself to go out with him I would have fun? It's not that I don't want to go out with him but neither that I want to go out with him!

Does anyone else feel like their OCD is a self-fulfilling perspective? Or like they are “prone to suggestion?” Like if you hear something out read something you were not previously obsessing about, then it becomes an obsession?

Hi I would like to get help for my daughter, her OCD and intrusive thoughts don’t let her have a social life. She is very reluctant to search for help, and as she is a young adult many therapists want her to come on her own but the thing is she can’t do it on her own! I read somewhere in the website or IG page that you support families too.

Do you ever have same sex dreams that mess you up? Don't need reassurance, just putting it out there.

Do yall ever think of what ever disturbs you cause your use to it or can it be hard to tell if it was a random thought or you

Rocd only with some thoughts, without anxiety is so scary... Or feels do real, like your intuition voice, without if. Calm statements. I'm afraid of it.

Can OCD really convince me that i'm a lesbian, like it feels so real and my mind tells me: you're in denial, all your past crushes on boys weren't real...it feels like in a year since this started, i changed who i was and all my life was meaningless..like should i just accept that i'm bisexual or lesbian even if i don't want to be?

“It’s just OCD, don’t try and understand it” is something I’ve been telling myself recently. OCD doesn’t use logic so it’s probably not the best route to try and reason with it. You don’t need to. Be strong!

Today was a little weird and hard i am losing hope so i just need some words of advice.. i went out with some friends today due to my college work and it was all okay until we were coming back and i noticed this girl out of the friend group randomly and went like do i like her would i do something with here?!? Which popped out and i am not lying it felt too real to ignore or deny and it was like i might even like it and just that thought made me think my friend who is bi would have actually also noticed like this only?!? And she wouldn’t make a move but what if she did would i have retaliated i might have and might have not but all these in that one corner also feel very irrational and baseless but thats like0.1% and the rest feels like i want it and i am in denial and then people will say so what if you are why don’t you be okay with it which makes me think why this then why wouldn’t I accept it then why don’t i know the answer to it now then?!! It was so real that I can’t deny it what do i do?!? I started thinking things imagining things and felt i notice her the same way as i would have to a guy which is so crazy cause why would i ?!? And people will say again so what if you are?!? Then why don’t i know it now?!? I am tired i don’t know what to do i feel like i am in denial big time… and not accepting because of society or fears i have is it so … even when i tell myself i am straight i know it I don’t believe it i just can’t and if so much doubt and so many thoughts don’t mean anything why do they feel so strong and real pls help… am i straight or not do i want to be or not?!? What is this?! Other people know the answers why don’t i I genuinely feel like i am in denial and i am not accepting cause it feels like i want it feels so real and idk what to do….people wouldn’t question if they wouldn’t doubt and then if they doubt that means there some truth to it?!? Why am i not okay with this or am i and just avoiding it.. i am sorry to whoever’s reading this cause i put you through so much i need help…

It’s almost 4am and I can’t sleep. I’m sick and just really struggling mentally. Unfortunately I have to work today I already called off work yesterday. I just want this pain to end. I’m starting to think that maybe I deserve all this 💔

i'm so sick of how ocd controls my life. when i look in the mirror, i hardly even see myself anymore. i see a product of everything my thoughts have turned me into. i try so hard to stay afloat, but the harder i fight the more i sink. i'm so tired. i miss myself and i don't even know who she was. to miss someone else is easy, you know you could see them again. when you miss yourself it's as if you are permanently blind, and trying to find yourself amidst every obstacle you could think of. every single thing i find a monster to be, i feel in myself every time i wake up. it is unbearable. if someone told me reaching in my chest and clawing my heart out might erase the thoughts, and take this unbearable weight out of my chest, i might. you have taken everything. and the worst part is, i doubt i even have you. i fear i am this. this monster. the person i'm terrified of becoming the most. i look in the mirror and i see you. i fight to see me, behind my eyes, every day. one day i will.

i’m watching impractical jokers to cope because i literally don’t know what else to do lmao

I don't know how I'm supposed to just live with the uncertainty that I will or won't do something awful. It feels impossible to me right now! 😭

I’m terrified right now, I read a horrific news story a while back and for some reason I remembered it and now my OCD is trying make me think I’ve done the same or that I want to. I absolutely don’t ever want to nor have I ever, I’m just horrified. I won’t talk about the news story or what happened because it’s absolutely appalling and wouldn’t want to trigger or scare or just simply disgust someone on here. But I hate OCD, I’m shaking right now. Why can’t I just be disgusted and not have to always put the appalling things others do and put in on myself and say I’ve done it

can someone comment examples of gaslighting???

Real event OCD .. 2 months ago I made a mistake that while at the time of doing it I felt fine but after I had extreme anxiety I did something wrong and triggered my OCD leading to performing my compulsions of confession and reassurance seeking. Now ever since I am fixating and searching for other “mistakes” I’ve made in the past that never used to bug me or I didn’t think twice about and it’s creating some false event OCD at times by telling me I may have done something worse - anyone else experience for?

If you feel like your thoughts are real, watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whcpkyABuU4&t

So I know it’s normal to compliment someone, right? Yes. Anyways, I was going out to eat with my family, and I saw a guy, I really didn’t think much of it, but my mind said “that’s a hot person” and I was like “yea he is” but not in a gay way (because it’s nice to compliment someone) and now because I have OS-OCD, I can’t stop thinking about it. Like, am I gay for that? And I’m freaking out, because I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m scared, guys. PLEASE HELP, is this normal?!?! IM SCARED!!!

Im 22, i saw a video of a girl on social media who’s a few years younger than me and got unwanted intrusive thoughts and feelings about her being attractive. It felt so real, does this mean im a predator or a p********? Im so scared and feel so sick, i dont know what to do.