i’m watching impractical jokers to cope because i literally don’t know what else to do lmao

I want to rip out my uterus. Only my hormones can make my OCD and ability to manage it go back to square one. I am spiraling *so* hard. I cannot breathe. My PMDD is going crazy. I’m having a panic attack again. I feel so scared. The POCD is going absolutely insane right now. It feels undeniably real, and my mind keeps drifting to those awful thoughts and what feels like exploring them?? but I can’t for the life of me stop some of these compulsions right now. I was trying to watch something to get my mind off of this but ended up getting triggered twice, so my anxiety is a 10 and I can’t seem to calm down. This panic attack is tuned all the way up.

I love horror movies and would watch them random sometimes even Terrifier cause art is my new favorite character. I just felt like I was a bad person for this⁉️ I don’t support his actions but I like his goofy faces he makes. I can’t enjoy anything no more Literally me rn in life

i think my intrusive thoughts are real. what do i do now man