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the NOCD Community

I regret researching every single day🫠 In the beginning, I thought searching for similar stories to my own would help ease my fears, but my mind ended up latching onto their worries, which only heightened the anxiety I had before. There were worries I didn't have, and now I do.

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

This flare up is getting worse. So my son brought me a paper he needed signed for school yesterday and I asked him to get me a pen. As he got the pen I was just looking at him and unintentionally glanced over his private area and immediately freaked out with guilt. My ocd started telling me I was staring and that I wanted to look there. I know I wasn’t staring and I don’t ever want to look there. Anytime I accidentally catch a glimpse of my children’s private areas I always immediately look away and feel so guilty even though it wasn’t intentional or wanted but my ocd is making me believe I did stare and now the memory of it is blurred the more I try to remember it exactly to disprove the ocd. I feel horrible and I don’t know how I can ever get past this. 😪

I was doing fine with my schizophrenia ocd (fear of developing schizophrenia/psychosis), mostly because I was obsessing on something else for a bit, but something caused it to come back. I was at work yesterday and checked out a customer, he didn’t know English very well and was very quiet. However, when he was leaving, he said “thank you” loudly while walking out and I told him to have a good night, but since I couldn’t see his face nor his mouth move, I worried that I hallucinated the whole thing and he in reality didn’t say anything while he was leaving. The voice that said it sounded a bit different, however it could’ve just been since I had only heard him talk quietly before. I’m still wondering if I hallucinated this and it freaks me out, causing my ocd to make me believe I’m developing schizophrenia/psychosis or losing my mind again. I also always read that the difference between those with schizophrenia/psychosis is those with OCD have insight and know their thoughts are crazy, but then that leads me down a spiral if what if I DONT think those thoughts are crazy? What if I actually believe them and become delusional/lack insight? So a statement that would be helpful otherwise made it worse for me. One night I had a panic attack super bad because I couldn’t convince myself I didn’t believe I was in a dream and hallucinating. Any advice on beating these constant thoughts and how to cope with it? :/

I’ve been dealing with a really bad flare up the last 2 weeks and i’ve been dealing with ocd on and off for years. I was finally feeling better today, So of course my ocd decided to bring up an old intrusive thought that was really upsetting and now i’m stuck on it again. The reason why I struggle so much to conquer my ocd is because I developed ocd as postpartum so my ocd targets my kids, the ones that mean everything to me. The intrusive thoughts range from mild to really disturbing. While I know deep down the intrusive thoughts aren’t true or me, the ocd makes it feel SO real and true which makes me feel like I HAVE to disprove the thoughts and with confidence but the ocd won’t let me. It also makes me question analyze and judge everything I do. It’s an endless cycle of pain and I just want to be a mom without ocd telling me i’m a horrible person all day every day. 😪

Do y’all ever forget basic needs sometimes? I have been going through a phase where I don’t drink water all day until night time and I drink so much that I hold my pee throughout the night until morning. I notice sometimes I even hold my breathe and get light headed or a headache and think something is medically wrong with me 😭or is this my ocd?

When an intrusive thought comes I can’t just say “that’s not true” and just move on. I always feel like I have to disprove the thought and be able to say it with confidence but the problem is that the ocd doesn’t allow me to feel and say it with confidence so I get stuck for hours or even days. How can I stop feeling like I need to do this?

I just feel petrified and I don’t understand why. There aren’t even any thoughts right now. I just feel so scared.

Since I developed ocd as postpartum my ocd has mostly always targeted my kids. It started as harm and then switched to pocd. Both are equally very painful. For years I was mostly able to keep my ocd at bay but when it comes back it’s so bad. I have a son and a daughter and my ocd switches back and forth from kid to kid with horrible intrusive thoughts and now even intrusive ocd dreams. With each thought I get past and start to feel relief another one pops right up. The thoughts feel so real and true even though I know it’s just the ocd and not how I think or feel, the ocd always makes me doubt myself and question everything I think or do. I know other moms/dads go through this too. Please anyone who has or is going through this please tell me how you deal with this. 😪

Advice needed please: Has anybody ever been in a situation where something traumatic or heartbreaking was happening in their life and struggled with rumination? I know there is like a normal amount that you should process something and cry it out but I don’t know that it is conducive to anything to do that on and off for hours? Wouldn’t it at a certain point be considered unhelpful rumination? And if so how does one stop? Because I’m going through something so hurtful and confusing that I don’t know how to stop thinking about it and the usual distractions don’t work for very long. And idk how important this is but it just happened today so it’s very fresh which makes it even harder to not think about and “figure out” why x, y, z happened. Goodness, I’m sorry if I’m weird or a baby

Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.

Has anyone ever just felt weird? It’s hard to explain but I just feel weird lately. I usually suffer with harm OCD and I feel like lately I’m not reacting to things I normally would. There’s certain things that will trigger me a little but then other times (like over the last few days) it’s like I feel nothing. I’ll get thoughts and because I don’t feel the physical sensation in my chest or get very emotional like I normally would it’s weird to me. Does this mean I’m liking the thoughts now? Or like I’m comfortable with those actions happening? I’m so confused. Has anyone ever gone through this?

I am starting to come to grips with intrusive thoughts, reading how your brain will think of the worst thing / or make you think of something that really distresses you. BUT, I’ve got something I need to get off my chest, not looking for reassurance but just to know I’m not alone I guess? I remember one time, I saw a girl I follow on Instagram go on a marathon, and then went straight out for dinner after without showering and I had the passing thought of, gosh she must smell, even worse, she must smell down there. That has got to be the worst intrusive thought EVER, and because it affected me so much, I have the urge to think of this horrible horrible thought most times I look at people. Wondering if they smell!!!! It’s disgusting!!!! :( I don’t know if this is because I also have contamination ocd and I do obsess about feeling and being clean.

i couldn't take this anymore. maybe i'll just let ocd win this time. it's too hard to not have a clear conscience everytime i'm with my bf cuz my mind is telling me i'm unfaithful and don't deserve to be happy. i feel like i'll never get better anymore. i already told myself many times to stop attracting attention from other people especially to people i'm having false attraction to. but i did it again yesterday, right after i smiled a little extra in front of that girl i might be attracted to i could feel the massive anxiety in my chest. already decided last week that i might be actually attracted to her so it's best to fully avoid her. i avoided her with the best i could, but we're in the same classroom and i saw her in my peripheral vision looking at us (my bf and i) whispered to myself not to make any mistake i'll regret, but then i felt like i lose control and laugh a little extra. i searched micro cheating and it says there "trying to impress someone you're attracted to" and now i want to break up with my bf. the guilt is too strong. i couldn't sleep at night.

Does your ocd ever start to tell you that you’re having a psychotic break? I have such a hard time telling what are ocd thoughts and what are real thoughts as it is. But now my newest ocd thought is that I’m losing my mind. Please tell me I’m not alone in this!!

I have this same problem repeatedly where I see things online about faking OCD and people talking about how OCD isn’t just cleaning and it makes me feel like I’m faking it and it’s pretty much its own theme now. I have a handwashing problem and since it’s so heavily stigmatized as faking I never do it when others are watching because then I feel like I’m seeking attention. Pretty much all of my visible compulsions I do are behind closed doors or on my own and I can’t do anything about it because if I try to show somebody then I’m attention seeking and faking. If I try to talk about the fear then I’m also attention seeking because now I’m guilt tripping and seeking sympathy and therefore I shouldn’t tell anyone and I shouldn’t show anyone. I’m essentially hiding an entire mental illness because of this, the only person I’ve ever really told about my issues is my therapist, nobody else feels safe.

Hi How to deal with a fucked up narcissistic mom that caused me to have ocd ?????? I have so much anger towards her and idk how to let it out.

What’s good times to feed your cat? And how many times? I’m getting a cat and was wondering to be safe, the cat I’m planning to get is 3-4 months old and is a female (she’s spayed) ANY cat tips is needed! I want to be the best I can be!

This should be common sense, but unfortunately I stumble down these rabbit holes and subreddits because I have a complicated health problem, and am trying to seek a similar community. I have sought out medical advice with no real conclusion and ocd anxiety makes things worse so I guess this is a form of compulsion? I’m not exactly sure anymore. Anyways, I had a strange experience last night where I had a bit of swelling and discomfort in my mouth and fingers. I took an antihistamine just in case, and the issue resolved itself. I posted in a histamine intolerance subreddit asking if anyone has experienced similar as there was no known trigger. Well, someone told me it was anaphylaxis and that I had to be more careful with what I ate. Anaphylaxis is already a trigger of mine, and although I know logically it couldn’t have been, the opinion of another person feels like confirmation. I am now afraid to eat or drink because of it. I am unsure if posting on subreddits was a compulsion now but please be careful with anything like that. It can make things so much worse.

i feel like im posting here very often bc i want answers. its a compulsion. should i delete in order for me to stop looking for reasurance