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How, if at all, does OCD affect your parenting?

Recently, I had a thought in my head, what if my daughter got mixed up in the maternity hospital and supposedly it's not my daughter? You have no idea how much my heart broke from worries and fear. I love my daughter madly and such thoughts hurt me. If I could control other thoughts, cope with them myself, I couldn't handle this one. I started crying right in front of my husband from anxiety and from a panic attack. I went to my mother abroad for fear of recovering, I got a little distracted, came to my senses, then I came to my home. Everything was fine, I was absolutely happy in my family as always. But today this thought came to my mind again and I've been anxious since morning. I don't want to burst into tears again and tell this to my husband. My daughter is my photocopy, she definitely looks like me, after giving birth she was immediately brought to me, all the tags matched, they had my name on them, there are even photos and tags I keep. But how am I going to live with this obsessive thought? I don't know how to get rid of it (it's the worst thing that could have happened. I've had ocd for a long time, and there were different topics, but this one is the most terrible. What is more, I'm pregnant now and I can't be stressed. Help, what should I do and how can I prove to my brain that it's all nonsense?

Does anyone else struggle with groinal response with POCD?? Mine relapsed after having a baby and it came back but with groinals this time and it’s making me want to scream😭I fucking hate myself I feel like a piece of shit n feel like I don’t deserve to be a parent

I remember when my baby’s pee pee got hard and I wiped him and could feel it when I wiped then I may have felt it after I put the diaper on out of curiosity? I can’t remember if I touched the diaper to see if I could feel it… or if I wiped it just so I could feel it (not in a bad way) more so curious. But tbh there is this part of me that is thinking I did have thoughts but kept doing what I was doing and now since I am having an ocd spiral it’s making me question everything. All I know is for certain my intentions are never to harm or hurt or ANYTHING. But I guess I want to know I’m not a bad mom.

I’m 6 weeks postpartum and struggling really badly with derealization/depersonalization. I genuinely feel like I look in the mirror or at photos of myself and don’t know who that person is. On some rational level I know it’s me but it truly doesn’t feel real and I just feel so disconnected and detached from myself. I know I shouldn’t try to seek reassurance but has anyone else ever experienced this? I feel like I try to explain it to my family and friends and they don’t really know what I mean. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and I stopped my medication by suggestion of my psychiatrist. I was on Zoloft 50 mg. I was feeling ok until 2 weeks ago when I started a new job and I started my second semester in grad school. For example today I’m at wit ends. I feel my body shaking from the inside and just so much fear. I thought it was anxiety for starting a new job but I think is my ocd plus having a lot on my plate. Today I called and made an appointment with a new psychiatrist and see if I can go back to my meds and hoping they help me level up. Also made an appointment with my therapist here at NOCD. Has anybody experienced anything like this? And has medication helped with how you feel? I just need words of encouragement

I’m a momma of 2 that has suffered debilitating PP anxiety/depression etc and have recently come to the realization that PPOCD is my main issue. I’m just here trying to learn what I can and try my darnedest to get back to my old mentality for my babies.

I have had OCD my whole life and was diagnosed by a therapist 2 years ago. Specifically I struggle a lot with health, contamination and pure ocd. I was doing exposures and really felt like I conquered by contamination ocd. With the health ocd I have an intense fear I will have a food or medicine allergy and go into anaphylactic shock. This takes up a lot of my energy day to day. Within the past year, we bought a home, renovated and recently got married. My husband wants to start trying for a baby soon but I am not ready at all because of how much I feel like I have gone backwards with my anxiety and ocd. This spiked a lot with the stress of wedding planning. I’m scared pregnancy will spike my health/contamination ocd even more and I won’t be able to handle it. I always wanted babies but now that it’s getting closer and I know how much ocd I truly have I am so nervous I will cause myself and baby more stress than good. Does anyone have positive stories of TTC/pregnancy/PP and motherhood with ocd?

I have lived with OCD forever but I haven’t had a major flare up since I was like 8 years old… I feel like I will never be normal again. I’m a mom to two kids we just bought a house and I have my dream job and I just got a new car and I can’t SNAP out of it… I keep obsessing that I’m going to be stuck feeling like this forever. It originally started with “what if” I harm my kids because I snap and not it’s basically turned into I’ll never be or feel normal again and this is it. I will never be able to care for my kids alone again, and this is the new me. Can anyone relate? I want to take SSRI but I’m so scared I took it for 2 days and I had immense depression where I wanted to like run away from myself… Please help, I’m also spinning on the fact I need to go to an in patient facility to be normal and I feel so guilty since I have 2 kids, any insight would be greatly appreciated!

I'm roughly 2 months pregnant and I'm struggling so bad with OCD (specifically surrounding psychosis/postpartum psychosis, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, etc). I'm so discouraged because I was sub-clinical for over a year and this pregnancy and the hormones are undoing all of my progress. And it actually seems so much harder than BEFORE when I was at a low point. It feels like the hormones are ruining my brain and making me lose my mind. I keep looking over my shoulder, getting intrusive images of scary hallucinations that I might start to get, i fear hurting myself or my baby, etc. Psychosis in pregnancy is 1 in 1000. That's not that rare. I feel like I just upped my chances of my biggest fear happening and I have so much regret and fear around that. I'm also a Christian and I'm relying on God so much more now than ever, but I'm afraid of that too because people in psychosis often have religious delusions and I can't tell if I'm slipping into that or if God is really just using this trial to pull me closer to him. I just feel so defeated. I feel like ERP just isn't going to work for me because the hormones are a whole different animal that "normal" people with OCD don't have. Like they're making me immune to ERP or that ERP isn't for people like me and I'm hopeless.

I just wanted to ask any mothers their experience with having children & the positive experiences they’ve had despite their diagnosis (even the small moments of joy)? I have always yearned to have children & grow a family however recently OCD has made me question this desire (though when I’m back to thinking rationally my heart knows I’m meant for motherhood). though I’m not oblivious to how difficult it must be, I thought it would be nice to see the good amongst the bad, not just for me but for anyone else feeling a similar way 🫶🏼

Im sorry I have to come on here and ask for advice once again, but as some people on here know I have been suffering with ocd since I was around the age of ten, which only got worse as my beautiful children came along. or nearly 60 years Ive had every type of ocd there is, they always come down to the same thing , not wanting to ever harm the people I love more than anything. I had got on top of this and was managing well, I know I would never harm anyone I love ever and would never ever want to, no more of the hypothetical scenarios for reassurance either , but its like every time I try to stop the mental compulsions intrusive thoughts come back after a few days, As I was in between going to sleep and was half awake the horrible words ' hope ***** dies I cannot even write the name down who it was about. I do not know where it came from but I am constantly getting upset about this as it was about someone I would give up my life for. I think you can probably guess what I mean without me having to say it. I do read a lot of posts and ocd podcasts and once read someones story wher they used to wish bad things and I have never been able to stop worrying in case something like that happened to me . Could this be what it was that has caused it ? I think Ive also still held onto something from when I was a child when I used to worry that thinking something too much could make it happen,, Please, please give me some addvice and thank you,,, sorry for the long post.

Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what I’m about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born I’ve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and I’d get my baby taken from me. I’ve NEVER had anyone tell me I’m a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think I’m a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think I’m a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and someone think I’m not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasn’t magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I don’t open up because I feel like I’m the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m failing as a mom. I don’t even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I don’t want them to think I’m a bad mom. It just doesn’t stop.

TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!

I'm 20 weeks pregnant, have suffered with ocd since 16. Had a mental break down over a year ago. Here I am feeling like I am relapsing and the thoughts are out of control, and even worse now that I feel guilty I am causing my baby stress when it's not his fault.

Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?

My POCD has spiraled out of control based on me thinking I wanted to cause harm to my child when I moved my elbow based upon the thought to move it. I can't stop feeling guilty about it. I don't want to be taken from her. I need help. I have a therapist but myself next session isn't for a while

It was all your POCD they say, but now I'm like is it just a cover up. The feelings were SO REAL feeling in the moment. I feel like the friends who have told me it's OCD isn't even true anymore. It felt so real but I asked my child to move so it didn't happen again. I was scared. Thought I was going to be taken away. I've been ruminating for a month now. I've been feeling sick like I don't deserve to be her mom. Ugh I hate this.

I have a great fear of giving birth to a child. Especially the little girl... I am afraid that I will do something to her, that I will have an urge, if I am left alone with her... and I so want to be a mother and a normal healthy mother... it is terrible for me that I do not trust myself so much...

Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.