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Somedays, the compulsions are quite exhausting. It drains you to the point that you just want to sleep, just so that you don't engage in any routine. How do you deal or manage contamination ocd, if anyone of you have been dealing with it? For me, it just came out all of a sudden since a year and a half, and it's stayed since then... may also be due to the role of neuroplasticity

My ocd has gotten pretty bad over the past couple years and it’s really hard for me to move around even in my own house. Like if I see someone in my family take out the trash, the floor, or touch something else dirty then touch a doorknob, kitchen counter, chair, etc then I try to make sure no part of me touches those things. At this point it feels like everything is dirty and there’s constantly things blocking the walkways that I have to avoid. I feel like I have to move around my house like I’m trying to avoid the lasers protecting the safe in a bank in one of those movies.

Hi all I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for about 4 years and I’m finally starting treatment. I’m having a really bad flare and having a hard time sitting in my skin and being ok. Essentially, I couple months ago my cats had fleas…or so I think? I have been treating them and my home for the past three months. Today I noticed my cat has white specs all over him and I’m freaking out. Cleaning everything telling myself that my house is dirty not clean and infested. I can’t tell if it’s dandruff or flea eggs. I’m just having a really hard time and I don’t have a therapist yet.

Today I noticed that I have been making improvements in my harm and contamination subtypes. I started ERP a couple weeks ago and am in talks with my psych about meds I should be taking. I've noticed that since ERP, it's a lot easier for me to touch "contaminated" things and not feel incredibly disgusted. I can touch my trash can, dirty dishes with no gloves, touch items at the grocery store, and touch toilet handles without getting anxious. That's a huge step for me. Now, I will say it did get in the way yesterday of me going out to brunch because there have been measles cases reported around where I live. So, still work to be done but getting better. Today, I had a big breakthrough when I noticed that I hadn't even remembered to turn on my living room security camera until after I had left. I wasn't scared, I casually remembered and I knew I would see my cats sleeping and not something horrible. I also don't double check behind my husband anymore when he locks the door. I watch him lock the door, then walk away towards the car, trusting that it was done. I try really hard now not to do my usual mental compulsions and ask for reassurance. I feel like I have more trust in general towards at least the things and people in my home. I still have a long way to go but I'm making progress!

My contamination ocd is ruining my relationship with my family and im not sure what to do. I don’t really have a type of contamination ocd that like it afraid of getting sick and dying it’s more like emotional. So if the tee shirt feels “wrong” and “dirty” then I have to perform a compulsion. My father is also a big part of it. Everything he touches is dirty to me because of the negative emotional connection I have with him. So if he touches a tee shirt that’s mine it’s dirty. It’s making my parents do a lot of laundry, and they don’t let me wash my own laundry bc our machine is complicated and also because I can’t touch dirty clothes after or I will feel really dirty. But it’s getting really bad that my mom is yelling at me for using cleaning sprays and getting mad at me for being having to redo things cause they don’t feel right and having to wash my hands. Same with my dad, he makes fun of me and calls me names that upsets me which only makes my emotional contamination worse. I don’t know what to do. I went to therapy for almost a year now about this and nothing has worked and recently my therapist had recommended that I start meds so I went to the doctor and he prescribed me for lexapro bc I also have depression but my parents are against any meds idk what to do anymore and I feel really helpless

Just need to vent about a new thing my contamination theme is obsessing over, and maybe get advice if anyone has any. I had a major obsession for a couple months about fiber glass in mattresses (still have it but now I’m focused on something else). I was convinced my mattress had fiber glass in it because I was seeing sparkles on my bed frame, my mattress is old, and it has a tear. I finally checked the tag and it doesn’t say fiberglass in the materials. This has been my main obsession and I’ve been able to mostly ignore my other worries. Since checking the tag I haven’t been getting intrusive thoughts about the mattress but now my contamination ocd has moved on to a completely new thing almost instantly after checking. Literally this is now the only thing I can think about and it feels horrible. I accidentally spilled an alcoholic drink a while back in my room. I have carpeted floors. After spilling I set a towel on it to soak up the drink but to be honest I didn’t clean it that well, and I’ve never thought too deeply into spilling things because I never cared (never thought about anything bad that could happen from it, never occurred to me). I left my house for a couple months to stay somewhere else and when I came back I noticed the area I spilled the drink has a scent. I can’t tell if it’s just a scent from spilling a drink with alcohol or if it’s a problem. The first night sleeping at my house again (I spilled it next to my bed) I kept coughing. It’s been about a week and I’m still coughing. I’ve been researching mold like crazy, which I know is bad because I’m looking for reassurance, but I think there is a chance there is mold from the moisture of me not cleaning the drink properly. My carpet has discoloration but it’s not obvious, I can’t see if there’s mold or not. I bought vinegar and I’m going to clean it properly. But the problem is I can’t tell if my worries are realistic or not. My main intrusive thoughts are: - This happened next to an air vent, and I’m worried the air spread mold all over my room. I have a lot of possessions that are important to me and now I’m scared they’re contaminated. - I watched a video a while back where someone was looking around their house and there was mold on everything they owned. I’m worried that’s going to be me. - I’m worried that since I’ve been around where I think the mold is (literally right next to my bed) I have mold (not visible mold, I’m worrying about mold spores that I can’t see and them spreading to others) stuck to me/my clothes/my sheets/my phone. I’m getting a new kitten today and I’m scared to pet it because of the thought of mold on my hands. I don’t know if I should wash my hands/clean my phone before touching the cat. - I’m now thinking about all the times I spilled something in that room as a child, and didn’t clean it properly, and if there’s tons of mold I don’t know about. - I’m scared it has spread to other parts of my floor and now I’m tracking it to other parts of the house. I know mold doesn’t work this way but this is stuck in my head. I’ve been in this bedroom since I was a kid so at least 9 years. As a kid I didn’t care about this sort of thing so there’s been lots of messes over the years. I just want to move and get a fresh start. Living this way is so exhausting and I feel crazy writing this out lol. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is valid or not, and I’m scared to research further because I know it’s probably for reassurance but I genuinely don’t know how to deal with this or what’s normal. My ocd usually centers around other people, like I don’t care if I’m affected by the mold or if it harms me, I’m just worried about being contaminated and bringing it around others. I’ve been thinking about actually going to therapy but I have horrible social anxiety and can’t talk to people very well. It feels like a catch 22, that my social anxiety is preventing me from getting therapy that would help my social anxiety and ocd.

I’m still a teenager so I live with my parents but thankfully I have my own bathroom. It’s my safe space because that’s where I spend most of my time cleaning myself and keeping up with my hygiene which is very important to me. Especially my shower because it’s also where I go when I have a panic/anxiety attack and it calms me down. Recently my dog had an accident all over the upstairs carpet (she’s okay, just had a brief stomach bug). My brother was the one who ended up cleaning the mess and he took all of the gross poop water and dumped it down my shower drain. He could have dumped it in the toilet or outside but just chose not to i guess? I was super disturbed upon hearing this and I know it’s super dramatic but I feel like I need to replace everything in my bathroom now. I already have a new shower curtain on the way but I’m fighting the urge to replace everything else (soap, bath mats, bottles, etc) I feel like everything in it is dirty and no amount of cleaning can fix it. Please give me tips on how to deal with this.

having ocd is hard because not only am i dealing with something that im aware is so irrational, but i’m also shamed and punished and ridiculed for it in my family. i’m 21 and a college student and still live w my family, and my contamination ocd is getting worse. the stress of my compulsions are only making it worse. my hands have begun to be raw from washing them so much and my dad (who doesn’t really believe in mental illness and doesn’t know i’m diagnosed with ocd) is saying he’ll “take away all the lotion in the house so that i can’t use any which will make me stop washing my hands so much”. it just feels so frustrating bc im not even using any lotion since it contributes to my ocd. my oldest sister also makes fun of me for also having ocd and calls me sick and ridicules me. it’s not like i asked to have this life. i wish so badly i was “normal”. not having anyone on my side and encouraging me in a kind way also hurts.

I usually try to stay positive. But the past few days it’s just been hard for me. I just find it really difficult for people in my life to understand how debilitating ocd can be . It feels like people belive I should be able to do more or be just be over it by now. I honestly need support but I don’t really feel like I have it in my daily life. Recently my ocd has just been really big on contamination. To the point where my house feels like one big trap. I’m trying to get better but I feel like no matter how much effort I put into getting my life back. It just feels like I’m in quick sand…not getting anywhere. OCD has taken so much away from me. I just want my life back. I’m trying my hardest. Ugh It’s just been tough. The outside world hasn’t felt safe for months so it’s caused me to isolate and now my own place doesn’t feel safe. I’m just struggling tbh. I just neededto let that out and be vulnerable tbh 😕

I've started struggled with debilitating anxiety for so long it's hard to pinpoint where it stared. I've racked up a laundry list of diagnoses but always felt like nothing has really helped treatmentwise. In my recent spiral I was watching a YouTuber I've followed for years who has been very open about their experience with OCD. In the beginning of watching this person. While I had related to some things they said like specifically about anxiety, nothing ever made me think 'oh maybe I have OCD.' in fact in a way it reassur d me I didn't because my struggles seemed very different to theirs. Then they spoke about 'bad thoughts'' and the compulsion to turn them into 'good thoughts.' when they said that I felt so seen, and figured maybe I have some OCD tendencies. So I decided I would do some research into OCD and getting diagnostic criteria/ common obsessions and compulsions, and the second one on the first list was "worried about getting HIV and transmitting it to others" and it was like a switch went of in my brain and I remembered how I spent 2 years convinced a low risk sexual encounter in which protection was used definitely have me HIV, and how I constantly was looking up information about HIV, tests, prevention, clinical presentations. I got multiple STD tests and even when I started to logically understand it wasn't a real risk for me, I couldn't break the anxious cycle. The only thing that stopped I was after the time period passed where infections are detectable (2 years). And then I started putting everything in that context, months on end I spent unbelievably anxious about climate change and obsessively searching up statistics, the multiple times and admittedly stressful event occurs (job insecurity, visa applications, COVID forcing me and my partner into long distance) that would be so all consuming that every other aspect of my life feels on back burner to this one thought. How no logic, no explanation, no amount of time telling myself it is okay, it will be okay and that the outcomes of my stressors do have options/ ways forward, would stop the anxious spiral. I'm also thinking about how often, when I shared my anxiety, it was met with such response as "everyone is anxious about some things" or "well that is a stressful event so some anxiety is normal." I know that no one meant anything bad but this, but it also contributed to the shame and doubt to a degree, I didn't know how to explain how I felt, that is wasn't just anxious thoughts every so often, that is was a constant barrage from the moment I'm awake to the point I exhausted myself enough to sleep. Sharing this felt especially hard considering that it wasn't logical to feel how I was feeling. I don't know what I want to achieve with this post but the more i heard about people's specific experiences and personal obsessions and compulsions helped me to recognise those patterns in my own life so maybe just talking about it is helpful

I have such a hard time grocery shopping. I could never just pick up the first item off the shelf and put them in my cart, I gotta get like the third or fourth item off the back of the row. I always assume the first items were touched or tampered with, or returned, or when I used to work at a grocery store years ago I know a lot of cold products that customers didnt want, were left out for a long time before they were put back on the shelf . I got to inspect cans and boxes for dents and make sure they’re not smashed. Always gotta make sure things aren’t open. Gotta check expiration dates. I just watch how other people shop and they don’t have a care in the world, just picking up the first item putting it in their cart and moving on . It’s very exhausting just to go grocery shopping.

i live in a multi generational style home with my partner's parents, my partner, his sister, her husband and their 2 year old. we have separate bathrooms and when I moved in, the house was filthy. not just contamination filthy, more like no one has picked up a cleaning tool in years. I had to deep clean caked pee and dust from behind our toilet and walls. there was expired shampoo bottles from 2014 with mold on them. The bathtub was black with grime. like someone cleaned off motor oils off themselves. but really it was just soap scum mixed with years of dirt and human grime. I spent days cleaning the bath tub with multiple scrubs, using power tool brush heads and even a high pressure steamer. i finally got it to the point to where i felt clean to be in there. i did not clean their bathroom because doing mine was hard enough and I never planned to use theirs. they came home from their month long vacation and decided they no longer liked the state of their own bathroom and decided to use mine. They said their tub had black grime and did not want to bathe their baby in it. that grime was there in all of the tubs when they left and it didn't seem to bother them before? i know babies pee in the tub, its a natural reaction that I don't fault. i have a strict no pee in the shower rule. i can immediately tell when people are shower pee people when i use someone else's shower because the smell permeates from the bottom of the shower curtain and the shower drain. Now i am laying awake unable to sleep thinking about how i will need to scrub the tub in the morning and put the shower curtain in the wash (cuz it touched the pee water) before i can shower and start my day. they also left a huge mess of water on the floor with redish mud? i dont know but i had to clean that up before it settled. i want to set a boundary that they clean and use their own tub from now on, but I am worried I will be perceived as precious, rude, insensitive or unaccommodating they also dont know about my OCD and I am sure they already think of me as a bit off, it doesnt feel safe to disclose it to them. i cant lay awake every night upset and i cant start everyday with a deep clean. my shower and my bed are my non negotiables with OCD habits. they also put a bunch of amazon packages on my bed when i wasnt home that didnt even belong to me and i cant stop thinking about all the dirty things those boxes touched before touching my newly cleaned sheets. so i also have to deep clean that in the morning. currently i am in the one corner of the bed nothing touched and i have sanitized the rest but not enough to sleep well. help!! this cant just be an ocd problem, but an inconsiderate family member i have to learn to live with. any tips? ALSO my husband is gone on a work trip, leaving me to have to figure this out on my own if I want to survive the week without him. its extra hard because i feel like i have less of a say since this is not my family home.

yesterday morning i was fapping and semen dropped on the floor. i removed most of it with a kitchen towel cleaned it with a lot of amount of Disinfectant Anti-Germs (it says it kills 99% bacteria) then today one hour ago i poured a lot of the pink substance called ethyl alcohol without rubbing anything, i let it sit on the floor. but half hour later my father brought lunch and we ate together, then came to inspect that room. i put kitchen towel on the alcohol on the floor and told him to avoid stepping on it. but then he did and the kitchen towel came off from his shoes. what are the chances that semen germs got attached to his shoes? because he walked with those shoes on the elevator and in the city. im terrified of microscopic semen cells spreading in the city, i'm terrified that it could get in contact with an innocent trigger, the chance of it happening, or the fact that it is out there even as a microscopic dust deeply causes me anxiety. i googled and it says that semen cannot survive more than 5 minutes exposed to air, and that alcohol literally destroys the cell, but microscopic harmless not biologically residue of dead sperm can still exist, and im terrified of this. im terrified that it got attached to my father's shoes. if it were possible i would literally scrub every surface of my condominium, the elevator and the entire city.

I feel so beat down by life. My boyfriend lost his job in June. Luckily he got a job and started it mid September but money is still super tight and has been and it’s been a huge stressor. On top of that all my cats have ring worm and well as my boyfriend and I so now I’m obsessing over ringworm and I’m constantly scared to touch myself and spread it but because I’m always thinking about it I’m always itchy. I also have a medical issue going on. I just was eating corn and there was mold on it and now I’m disgusted. We have basically no food. I’m fucking tired and stressed and I have my school work and I’m working full time. Life is just rough right now and I’m struggling to deal with it and I don’t know who to talk to because I don’t want to talk about it too much with my boyfriend and annoy him with it because I also know he’s stressed too and I just want a break that I feel like is never coming. Thanks for reading. Any help is always welcome.

Hello, I'm a student from China. I've been struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for several months, and I want to talk about my situation. I wonder if any of you have dogs—my problem is related to dogs. At first, I was worried about whether a dog had licked me and if I would get rabies and die. Then it generalized to walking my dog outside: I’d fear that the dog might lick someone else and cause their death. Now, I have obsessive thoughts about whether I accidentally let a dog lick someone in the past, and what I’d do if that person died. These thoughts pop up from time to time. Because of this, I’m afraid to touch dogs, and I even dare not take my dog out for walks. I want to receive CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) treatment, but there are no professional doctors who provide psychological treatment in my area—almost all available options are medication-based. What should I do?

OCD has been in my life since 2019, and I have no idea how to get rid of it. Everything started when I was 14. I had just started high school, and when I walked into the classroom, I was trying to figure out the atmosphere there. I was a very quiet kid in high school. I usually hated my skin, so I would wear my cardigan in a way that covered my hands and listened to lessons with my hand on my face. A few weeks later, people started insulting me, hitting me, and verbally harassing me. The bullying got worse, and from then on, I started bottling everything up. At that time, I cared too much about what people thought, and I began to believe others would harm me. Because of these thoughts and fears, I failed around 8–9 classes. In 2020, when the pandemic started, classes went online. I hated it, but I was happy because I wouldn’t have to see those people again—at least until I lost my grandmother. She passed away due to COVID, and that pushed me really far down. Back then, I had an edit account on Instagram. I loved making edits and I had friends I really liked. Talking with them made me so happy, but over time, their behavior toward me changed. They turned into completely different people I no longer recognized. They became horrible, and all of this happened just because I replied late to their messages. I wasn’t always online—I’m human too. They added me to groups, threatened me, and sent me awful messages. I began to hate myself more and more. Around that time, I also started becoming paranoid about people. When I met someone new, I approached them with fear, and this dragged me down further. For almost a year and a half, both online and in real life, I developed prejudice against people. This prejudice was mostly fear—fear and prejudice made me antisocial. When the pandemic ended, in 2022–2023, I had to do an internship in a place and a job I absolutely hated and couldn’t manage. The people there constantly mocked me, which pushed me down even more. I didn’t know how to deal with these situations because I was alone. I did the internship for about two and a half months, and when 2023 came, all the traumas and obsessions echoed in my mind. I felt terrible because of the disgusting events I had experienced. It felt like my brain had completely shut down. By January 2023, I was in an unbearable state. When I walked into the classroom, my teacher noticed something was wrong and started asking me questions. I immediately burst into tears and told her, “I hate myself.” At that time, the students in the back were making a lot of noise, so they couldn’t hear me. My teacher said, “Don’t turn around so they won’t see—come with me,” and took me to the teachers’ room. I told her everything, and I think I respect myself for that. But at the same time, my orientation felt like a burden on my shoulders, because I felt pressure from my family—as if I was supposed to meet a girl and start a relationship. I explained all the pressures, my obsessions, everything from beginning to end. She guided me and supported me. Almost all of my teachers supported me, and my prejudice toward people completely disappeared. Back then, I really thought I had beaten OCD. But in the following years, it came back stronger. I started hating my body. I took too many showers. The traumas replayed in my mind over and over. The more I tried to erase them, the more I thought about them—and I wasn’t the one controlling it. I couldn’t. When I do something, I often repeat it 4 or 5 times. I can’t pass through doors. I can’t touch certain objects. Even when I play games on my phone, I feel like I have to choose a character, but I keep choosing and canceling again and again. It repeats endlessly, and I can’t stop it. It feels like everything that once made me happy just disappears in front of my eyes, and I’m still fighting this. My family, my sister, my aunts, and my past teachers have supported me, but I feel like I’m disappointing them. That makes me feel terrible. On this site, I see so many people sharing their struggles with OCD, and knowing I’m not alone makes me both sad and, at the same time, a little happy. I just wanted to express myself this way. There are still things I couldn’t write—I really want to—but my thoughts exhaust me so much that I can’t.

so one of my biggest struggles lately is that my OCD has gotten significantly worse, and i’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and going through medication management for this as well. my only issue is that i have tried like 6 different anxiety meds or ssri’s now in the past couple of months because everytime i start one, i start having severe panic attacks and have to stop due to spiraling thoughts. it started with paxil(paroxetine) i started that first on the lowest dose, took it around 11pm just to wake up around 5am pupils so big you couldn’t see the color of my eyes, extreme tremors, dizziness so bad i couldn’t stand up and nausea. i went to the hospital because one of my biggest fears is serotonin syndrome, having seizures, all that because a LOT of my OCD is health based. they treated me like i was a crazy person in the ER, just gave me 2 strong Benadryl and hardly checked on me as i sat there shaking, crying, eyes wide open you’d think i saw a ghost. i felt so neglected. every since then when i try new medication, i have what i THINK is just panic attacks from thought spirals but i can’t tell what’s real and what’s not now. i can’t tell if it’s just OCD and my body mimicking those symptoms because of anxiety, or if im having a bad reaction again. it’s made trial and error with medication so exhausting and really really emotional. i haven’t cried this much in a month since i was maybe 17, and im 22 now. i don’t know what to do or how to continue medication management when i can’t tell what’s real and what’s not.

17+ only. :/ — My siblings have contamination OCD and i have shared bathroom with them, that they won’t use anymore, because my bf used it, and now they treat me and him like we have a disease and it’s so dehumanizing. This happened two days ago, After me and my bf showered together, I went downstairs to get a drink because I was really thirsty, and on my way back upstairs, i saw my sister and smiled at her and was about to talk to her, but she ignored me and she stepped away from me and put her hands up, then looked away, and like curled her lips inwards? and i was confused but as I went past her she kept getting moving to make sure she was far away as i was going past her. And this really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. She was really rude about it. Now I was told by my mom that even my brother won’t use it anymore either because of my bf, but my BF is the cleanest person to exist. and he openly admits it but they don’t care. I don’t feel bad because they are so rude about it and especially my sister is rude to my bf for no reason

So does anybody ever have moments where something happens and it triggers anxiety and they can't choose whether they should or shouldn't confess to others about it? I was talking with a friend and I noticed that saliva flew out of my mouth and looked like it got into food and I wanted to say something but I just couldn't get passed whether I should or not because of the anxiety and then I ended up not saying anything and I feel awful about it. Then an insect flew into my side of the food and I ate it anyway because I really didn't want it to go to waste.

i’ve been missing working out a lot. decided it was time, got a lot of courage. i go to my tiny apartment gym, in the past there’s been 3 people in it maximum. i figured i could handle that without wearing a mask. big mistake. when i came in it looked like there was 2 people, then after my time on the treadmill i saw a 3rd. then i went to the second room to get a foam roller and there were 2 more people. i started feeling nauseous while i was foam rolling. then 2 more people walked in. i left, cried walking up the stairs back to my apartment. this is the most unknown people’s air i’ve exposed myself to in a long time, during a peak covid wave. right now it’s 1 in 21 people in texas. that’s a 30% chance someone in that room had covid recently and could still be contagious. what the fuck is wrong with me? why would i risk my health like that? truly hoping and praying everything will be fine and that i don’t show symptoms over the next couple of days. but it’s all im going to be thinking about until those days pass. fuck.