Mega health anxiety

Hi everyone, I'm new to NOCD, not exactly knowing if I actually have OCD. When I was younger, I had poor dental hygiene from the moment I grew baby teeth up until I was around 18 years old. I was never encouraged to have good hygiene because I wasn't taught the consequences of not doing so. I would skip brushing a lot, never brush in the morning, and never floss. I even had gingivitis for a little bit. My family has Medicaid, and we practically live in the middle of nowhere, so getting proper care/treatment and medical advice is close to impossible. Every time I go to the dentist, I have a different doctor, and I never know if they're going to hurt me or not. Although I'm very ashamed to admit this, I probably have over 20 fillings, but I lost count. Unfortunately, I think I still have more that need to be filled, but I don't even want to know. I have a cleaning and X-ray scheduled in March. I see many teeny tiny black dots. I just recently started to take my oral health seriously after I went to get a filling. I had many fillings as a kid that it felt normal, but this time I felt the sensitivity as the dentist was drilling. I've never had that happen, but for the last two fillings I've had, it did (I'm guessing it's due to the lack of numbing because I've never had that problem before, and this is the only time I've had the same doctor twice). So, now I'm terrified of the dentist, and I grip the chair as hard as I can whenever they work on my teeth. That's when my obsession started. Actually, it started when I got my yearly physical and bloodwork. I was informed that I had borderline high cholesterol as an 18-year-old. Then, I began looking up what would happen if I lived with high cholesterol. Then what causes it, my chances of having heart attacks, etc. I started to Google random symptoms in fear and often looked on Reddit as a form of reassurance. My borderline high cholesterol, combined with my fear of my teeth rotting, has been torture these last few months. I'm scared that my teeth are too damaged that the future of them won't be great. I am terrified that I'm going to need a root canal, crown, or even dentures. With my cholesterol, I'm so scared that I'm going to have a heart attack. I feel like, because I think about it so much, my brain has actually started to create those symptoms. I felt my chest tightening, and I felt pain when I breathed. Every single time without fail, I would look it up online to reassure myself. And, every single time, it's made me feel worse because I'd find some bit of information that tells me "Yes, you're dying," or "Yes, it's too late to save your teeth." I even started to look up to see if my brain can create fake symptoms-- found out that it can be the case. It's not only the anxiety and my thoughts that have been plagued, though. I can feel it affecting my diet. I've lost 10 lbs since my doctor's appt in early September. Every time I want to eat something that has even a tiny sugar content, I believe that if I eat it, it'll only fuel my current cavities and I'll have to get a root canal someday. I often decline a lot of food because I'm scared of its fat content for cholesterol, or sugar content for cholesterol and my teeth. Now, when I wake up, all I can think about is the bacteria that are in my mouth, which are probably fueling my cavities and increasing my risk of losing every single one of my teeth. It sounds exhausting, and that's exactly what it is. I want it to stop. My therapist is currently on holiday, and I haven't seen her since before this obsession got super bad. Not sure what to do. Again, I just want it to stop. I miss my life before I had anxiety, and now possibly OCD. I'm glad I found a safe space for this, and I know I am not alone :) Thank you for reading if you made it this far <3

Megan Banks

Date posted: Yesterday

I would say that’s definitely ocd but I can’t give you an exact diagnosis. I hope you start feeling better and just remember that reassurance is not your friend and will not make things worse. Much love ❤️

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

Does your current therapist have a good understanding of OCD? There are lots of therapists who actually don't understand it very well. Do you think your therapist would do ERP therapy with you? ERP is a super effective therapy for OCD--but again, it's not always utilized by therapists. This sounds really miserable, and I am so sorry. The general way to handle OCD is to ALLOW the thoughts, but not let them affect your life. So in your case, you would not fight off the thoughts that tell you that all your teeth are going to be ruined if you eat sugar. You would allow those thoughts to be there. However, you would still make yourself eat things with sugar in them anyway. The reason you have to do this, is because if you obey all of the OCD "rules", your world will just get smaller and smaller. The OCD will restrict you more and more over time. You have to disobey it and start doing things anyway, even though your thoughts scream at you and you feel uncomfortable. This is why ERP therapy is so important. It will force us to expand our world by disobeying the OCD. You can get a lot better with therapy! It's just important to know that you are getting effective therapy .

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

@Tea and Honey It seems a little unclear to me whether you have OCD or not. But I think you can still practice doing things that make you uncomfortable. Like eating sugar, for example. Your world always gets bigger when you do the things that make you scared or uncomfortable.

gabs189

Date posted: Yesterday

@Tea and Honey Whether or not she has an understanding of it, I’m not sure. I haven’t brought it up to her yet because I haven’t seen her in almost a month. With finals, I couldn’t see her, and she’s out of office until we get back (she’s a therapist at the college I go to). I’ll definitely keep these tips in mind, though. I think it’s just so hard for me because it can TECHNICALLY happen. It throws me for a loop because I don’t actually know what’s going on with my teeth, so I try to use Google, ChatGPT, or Reddit to figure it out. Then, it makes me feel worse, and yada yada yada. Either way, I can’t see her until a couple weeks from now, but I messaged her regardless and perhaps we can schedule a virtual meeting. Thank you for your message, and I’ll absolutely ask for further guidance from my therapist and try to work with her. I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of months so we’re still in the early stages of therapy. However, I’m confident that it’ll get better over time. Thanks again.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond