I’m running low on hospital cleaners, and I’m trying not to buy them just to have them but with the flu so bad, I’m really scared. All the time. Until I get situated and started treatment, I feel like I HAVE to keep going. I’m scared that if I stop now; it’ll be too much.
It makes sense that your fear feels louder right now, especially with illness circulating, but OCD is framing this as an emergency that requires constant action to feel safe. From a treatment perspective, you are not obligated to keep going, and a more helpful step may be to pause, delay buying or using cleaners, and allow the anxiety to rise and fall on its own rather than proving you can survive only by doing more. You are not failing or putting yourself in danger by slowing down, and starting treatment does not require you to hold everything together perfectly until then.
@LeadZeppelin I’m so scared to start treatment because I’m scared for the first time my kids get sick is going to push me back so much if I don’t tackle my trauma first. I feel so lost but I’m so tired and just totally drained.
@Trying to breath That fear is completely understandable; starting treatment while worried your children getting sick will set you back and while you are exhausted feels overwhelming but it does not mean you must wait until everything is perfect. Beginning therapy in small, manageable steps like one intake session, setting a clear relapse plan with a clinician that accounts for parenting and illness, and pacing trauma work alongside practical supports usually makes you more resilient rather than causing a major setback. Would you like a short starter plan that balances trauma-focused care and ERP principles?
@LeadZeppelin That would be great!
@Trying to breath Perfect! Start small, plan for setbacks, and get support rather than waiting for the “perfect” time. First, arrange a brief intake and co-create a short safety and relapse plan with a clinician that explicitly accounts for parenting and illness contingencies so you can begin even when life feels unstable. Second, begin very low intensity ERP and imaginal exposures with therapist support, scheduling short repeatable exercises and deliberately resisting mental rituals while trauma-informed techniques are used as needed. Third, build a written relapse plan and practical caregiving supports, a short checklist of who can help, grounding strategies for DP/DR, and a self-compassion script, so setbacks become expected and manageable rather than proof you failed. Here’s what I like to use: 1. Name what is happening. Say to yourself, this feels urgent because of OCD and anxiety, not because there is a real emergency. Labeling the pattern is the first step to stepping out of it. 2. Pause before acting. When the urge to check, clean, ask, buy, confess, or review appears, pause for five to ten minutes. During the pause, do nothing to fix the feeling and notice that anxiety can rise and fall on its own. 3. Allow uncertainty on purpose. Remind yourself that you do not need one hundred percent certainty to be safe. Practice letting the question stay unanswered, even though it feels wrong or dangerous. 4. Limit reassurance and mental review. If you catch yourself replaying events, checking your intentions, or trying to prove you are a good or responsible person, gently stop and redirect your attention to something neutral. 5. Use grounding when overwhelmed. If panic or DPDR spikes, ground in the present by naming five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste. The goal is not to make anxiety disappear, only to stay present. 6. Choose one small exposure per day. Pick one manageable thing to not do, such as delaying cleaning or resisting a thought review. Consistency matters more than difficulty. 7. Plan for setbacks in advance. Write down that stress, illness, or parenting challenges may temporarily increase symptoms. Remind yourself that a flare does not mean treatment failed. 8. Practice self compassion. Use a short script like, I am doing the best I can with a nervous system that learned fear. I can feel anxious and still choose not to compulse. 9. Keep treatment steps small. Starting treatment can be one intake appointment, one worksheet, or one honest conversation. You do not have to fix everything at once. 10. End the day with permission. Tell yourself, I am allowed to stop trying to figure this out for today. I can rest even if anxiety is still here.
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