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working to conquer OCD
I looked at a picture of someone who was 14 and I found her attractive. I’m 19. Why would I find her attractive? Is it possible I think she looked older or am I just attracted to young kids?
I feel like I wasted my life.I am almost 20 years old I feel like I did some mistakes that are too horrible to be forgiven.I didnt help a kid who needed help..Who was in danger ..Who was hurt.This made me think I am dangerous and can't be trusted.I started to have these terrible terrible thoughts(pocd) and I feel like I changes since then.Like I am not a ,,pure" person.That I can't be like I was before.I hope it was a compulsion..I used to also stare at kids years ago.I know is so disgusting and I will never act like that again.I feel like I did something too terrible.I am scared this is all proof I am a p..I don't wanna be that.I will never do something but I am so disgusted by my thoughts.I know I shoulf not seek reassurance and all but I don't know if anyone will want to be near me if they knew.I feel like an impostor.And I am scared to tell a therapist..what if they told me that I really am?! Ped******a is one of the things that disgust me the most ..(I think for everyone is like that).I feel like I am too terrible to do something in life.After all of this idk if I deserve anything.Maybe there was a chance if I didn't start to have these thoughts..but now..I want to became a psychologist, to travel the world.I feel like I wasted my life .And I feel like I have too many things to do and have a lot of places to go.Some people are sick and can't do the things I CAN do.And I feel guilty because of that.And I am also scared I will get sick( as I write this, I am scared I will manifest it).I am going to a therapist but idk if I have the courage to tell abt my pocd
How do you tell friends and family about ocd? Like it makes me so anxious and I feel like such a terrible person. A lot of my intrusive thoughts are on my kids. And I hate every single thing that comes into my head.
agh .. okay .. i’m so so embarrassed to post this, i’m literally crying .. but i need some help and advice. or maybe just a place to vent. i don’t know yet. so .. i was hanging out with three of my cousins today, and a few friends. one of my cousins was driving us around, and it was a pretty long drive, and we all just chatted, had fun, you know, normal teenager shit. but i couldn’t help but shift my focus onto certain things about my cousin driving — “wow, he’s going so fast, he’s so cool,” “i like the way his hands are gripping the wheel. wow his hands. hands hands hands” “his happy trail looks nice” (we went swimming) “i feel jealous of his girlfriend” and all sorts of things. i just feel. so awful. i don’t want these thoughts at all, and i feel just horrible. my ocd mixed with hypersexuality from trauma is just not helping at all, and i just want to get rid of these thoughts. i feel so disgusted with myself, and i’m scared that even though intrusive thoughts are normal, maybe mine are too far and i’m just “unfixable” or “broken.” any advice on what i could do? :( edit: i would like to add that we’re not even blood cousins, since we’re “related” through my step dad, which makes these thoughts worse and makes my head go, “oh, well, it’s okay!!” aghh. so frustrating :(
has someone ever mistaken your POCD for the real thing when you told them about it?
wrote a very triggering post. this wasnt supposed to happen. im starting to believe that i'm a ****phile that suppress its feelings. "Our brains are wired to respond to certain stimuli, like attractiveness, quickly and automatically. This can happen even if we don't consciously want to feel that way. In your case, the combination of the trigger and your brain's automatic reaction might have contributed to the discomfort you felt." but it's wrong. it wasnt supposed to happen. it shouldn't be allowed in my brain to perceive the look of attractiveness in the legs and body of someone that looked so young... i didnt have desire for it though. i was disturbed and distressed when it happened and as i felt and noticed this perception and reaction. it's crazy to think that none of this would have happened if i didnt trigger myself in 2021 at 16 years old.
I saw a Tik tok video randomly of a woman petting her cat at the base of its tail and it making a funny noise. I read the comments and random ppl were saying she was turning her cat on…which is not true. Anyway, one day I saw my sweet cat and decided to sit on the floor and just pet her and love on her. As I was petting her, the intrusive thought of that video came in and I still petted her near the base of her tail literally for like 2 seconds and now my ocd has been questioning intentions and I’m having the hardest time of my life. 😭😭😭 I just need someone to relate to. 😭 Any advice?
Hi everyone I could really use some help on this topic. It’s hard to admit and talk about but after being on here I see that I’m not the only one! Still I would love some support and advice with how to deal with those unwanted sexual thoughts. For me it’s so uncomfortable and honestly gross when sexual thoughts get out of hand with normal people and also do extremely out of hand that even loved ones get involved. Like when I watch tv and all of a sudden I have these gross thoughts that I know if I accept they will go away but how can you accept something so gross? Would love some help!
I see people post about how they feel like their thoughts are real. For me personally I deal with sexual intrusive thoughts and they feel real to me because it feels like I enjoy them. And when I say “it feels like I like them” that’s the same for me as saying “I like them” but some people say that’s different. Idk just curious as to what you guys feel!
I know the solution is to always say “yeah that could be true, but I am choosing to live my life anyway.” However, I feel like my biggest issue is my brain always assuming that it is immediately true when I do that. Like if I say “maybe I’m attracted to teenagers, it’s possible,” then my brain INSTANTLY starts rationalizing that thought and defending it and being like “oh okay so you think this now and it makes sense because xyz, and now that’s who you are and your real desire is now and always will be teenagers.” I feel really alone in this area of feeling like my brain “accepting the thoughts” means my brain immediately accepts them as true. I obviously don’t want to think they’re true but I feel so stuck now.
I struggling with POCD specially fear of inappropriate porn thoughts.. I am in week 3 sertraline and my anxiety is like at the peak now.. I hope it gets better when I hang on with the med
17f So I don't have an official diagnosis, but I know I have it, I struggle with it since I was 4, I went through like almost every theme like contamination, symmetry, checking, existential, health anxiety, false memory, moral ocd, sexual ocds, and also a therapist told me I have it (another one said I have generalized anxiety disorder but idk like I was talking about textbook ocd to her) I don't have a therapist now therapy is not working out well for me but I was hoping to maybe get medication For me the absolute hell is POCD and real event ocd. I genuinely don't know how do I start. I also think I will replace POCD with harm ocd cause well I'm to scared to talk about POCD. But what do I even say like do I come in and talk about more obvious ocd stuff I experience and then randomly jump to POCD, seems like a crazy jump idk... Also I thought it will be in the evening and I will have time to prepare but it's in and hour and a half I'm terrified Anyone? Help? How do I start what do I say I'm so scared
I recently had a intrusive thought and felt the need to go over it to make sure I didn’t feel anything sexual. Part of the reviewing included creating a scenario similar to the intrusive thought to see if anything was felt. Thankfully no evidence of any feelings. However I can’t seem to find anything on the internet about creating scenarios when checking a previous intrusive thought. Is this common and what is it called has anyone experienced this. I feel very alone. Any feedback would be helpful
Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s3xual HOCD triggers that triggered me immensely...) In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all... Im so triggered please someone help me...
im not sure what this could be described as exactly since this is the first time i can explicitly remember something like this happening and it lasted for a few hours (thankfully i had no internet on the flight so i couldn’t seek reassurance) but yesterday, as i was on an airplane back to the us, i was watching desperate housewives and was watching an episode where one of the moms (lynette scavo) went into a swimming coach’s (art shepard) house and there was a scene where she and her kids were in the house and she found her kids in the basement filled with a bunch of kids games. however, the wall to the side was also filled with pictures of young shirtless boys which indicated that he could be a pedophile. i feel like i looked at the screen a bit more intently during that specific scene to see what exactly it was that was causing the suspense of the moment. however, my mind started telling me that i looked at the screen because i was attracted to the kids and that i am supposedly a pedophile. i had a thought spiral about this for maybe an hour or two during the flight where my mind was trying to accuse me and i tried mentally rationalizing as to why im not a pedophile and reassured myself that this is probably just ocd but it seemed very real at the time period and it freaked me out
18+ TW! POCD Is this still Pocd. I’m so scared For example, I’ll be feeling aroused over a child and feel genuinely aroused like I want the arousal and I’ll stop forcing it to not come because in the moment it feels like I want it in the moment so alllow the arousal to happen. Another example is I’ll feel aroused over a kid and my ocd will say make your blanket touch your private areas for a feeling over kids and I’ll do it in the moment because I feel aroused over the intrusive thought of the child. Another example is I’ll even think “yes I want this arousal over the child” and in the moment it feels like I want it I hate all of this after and do many compultions
i’ve been dealing with OCD for years. my biggest theme being POCD. i have dealt with the anxiety aspect of it all but i think i now have a dysregulated nervous system that normal somatic grounding exercises cannot fix. i also experience only depression. it’s like i still have the POCD + intrusive thoughts. I try not to engage with them, but I’m still depressed but don’t experience much anxiety. should I go on medication? Is it more than just OCD now?
If I manage to get a girlfriend will the ocd go away or will it get worse and be combined with rocd aka “what if I don’t actually like her and want to be with a guy” and then it will all go downhill. If that’s the case I don’t think I should start a relationship because I dont want the girl to go through all that.
I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words
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OCD doesn't have to
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