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17f So I don't have an official diagnosis, but I know I have it, I struggle with it since I was 4, I went through like almost every theme like contamination, symmetry, checking, existential, health anxiety, false memory, moral ocd, sexual ocds, and also a therapist told me I have it (another one said I have generalized anxiety disorder but idk like I was talking about textbook ocd to her) I don't have a therapist now therapy is not working out well for me but I was hoping to maybe get medication For me the absolute hell is POCD and real event ocd. I genuinely don't know how do I start. I also think I will replace POCD with harm ocd cause well I'm to scared to talk about POCD. But what do I even say like do I come in and talk about more obvious ocd stuff I experience and then randomly jump to POCD, seems like a crazy jump idk... Also I thought it will be in the evening and I will have time to prepare but it's in and hour and a half I'm terrified Anyone? Help? How do I start what do I say I'm so scared

I recently had a intrusive thought and felt the need to go over it to make sure I didn’t feel anything sexual. Part of the reviewing included creating a scenario similar to the intrusive thought to see if anything was felt. Thankfully no evidence of any feelings. However I can’t seem to find anything on the internet about creating scenarios when checking a previous intrusive thought. Is this common and what is it called has anyone experienced this. I feel very alone. Any feedback would be helpful

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s3xual HOCD triggers that triggered me immensely...) In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all... Im so triggered please someone help me...

im not sure what this could be described as exactly since this is the first time i can explicitly remember something like this happening and it lasted for a few hours (thankfully i had no internet on the flight so i couldn’t seek reassurance) but yesterday, as i was on an airplane back to the us, i was watching desperate housewives and was watching an episode where one of the moms (lynette scavo) went into a swimming coach’s (art shepard) house and there was a scene where she and her kids were in the house and she found her kids in the basement filled with a bunch of kids games. however, the wall to the side was also filled with pictures of young shirtless boys which indicated that he could be a pedophile. i feel like i looked at the screen a bit more intently during that specific scene to see what exactly it was that was causing the suspense of the moment. however, my mind started telling me that i looked at the screen because i was attracted to the kids and that i am supposedly a pedophile. i had a thought spiral about this for maybe an hour or two during the flight where my mind was trying to accuse me and i tried mentally rationalizing as to why im not a pedophile and reassured myself that this is probably just ocd but it seemed very real at the time period and it freaked me out

18+ TW! POCD Is this still Pocd. I’m so scared For example, I’ll be feeling aroused over a child and feel genuinely aroused like I want the arousal and I’ll stop forcing it to not come because in the moment it feels like I want it in the moment so alllow the arousal to happen. Another example is I’ll feel aroused over a kid and my ocd will say make your blanket touch your private areas for a feeling over kids and I’ll do it in the moment because I feel aroused over the intrusive thought of the child. Another example is I’ll even think “yes I want this arousal over the child” and in the moment it feels like I want it I hate all of this after and do many compultions

i’ve been dealing with OCD for years. my biggest theme being POCD. i have dealt with the anxiety aspect of it all but i think i now have a dysregulated nervous system that normal somatic grounding exercises cannot fix. i also experience only depression. it’s like i still have the POCD + intrusive thoughts. I try not to engage with them, but I’m still depressed but don’t experience much anxiety. should I go on medication? Is it more than just OCD now?

If I manage to get a girlfriend will the ocd go away or will it get worse and be combined with rocd aka “what if I don’t actually like her and want to be with a guy” and then it will all go downhill. If that’s the case I don’t think I should start a relationship because I dont want the girl to go through all that.

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

Whenever I am having a bad rumination episode/spiral, I think those around me can tell. I feel like I get distant and irritable. My mom even thinks I am mad at her. It’s awful! I don’t know how to explain what I am experiencing especially with more sensitive topics like POCD.

17f There is a chanse I will get prescribed medication but it's implied that I will go to therapy too. But therapy in my country is very shitty. I'm absolutely not comfortable talking about my POCD there. I have other ocd themes, like checking, symmetry, moral ocd, troubles reading because of ocd and some other themes, but they are not that severe and they don't make me sui🔪idal (please don't flag my post, you will make it worse). Like I can deal with them, but real even ocd and pocd are absolutely insane and I need help, but I know I won't get it there. I'm thinking of moving to another country in the future if I will make it. But to function and stay alive I need meds, cause a lot fo times its extremely bad. So idk is it possible to just be on meds with no therapy

This is really ruining me and I’m at the lowest point of this. I’m not suicidal or anything and I’m not depressed but I can’t bear with this anymore. POCD is the worst ocd I’ve ever dealt with and I’m too scared to tell a therapist about this. What do I do

I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’ve lost so much weight due to this mental illness. I sleep 18 hours a day to escape these thoughts. I grieve my old self so much. I miss crushing on men, I miss loving men, I miss dressing up nice and get compliments from men, I miss listening to music and daydream about my dream man. I miss wanting to get married and have my own kids with my dream husband. All of those things… I’ve desired them so much and I’ve daydreamed about them so much. My OCD is telling me that it’s all fake. I miss my old desire and love for men. I’m so tired of being alive. I’m so tired of seeing multiple posts where people who apparently suffered from SOOCD became their fears. I’m so tired. Cause y’all probably didn’t even have ocd in the first place idc. I will say it again, has it been someone with pocd or harm ocd and their obsessions/fears became true NONE of y’all would’ve had the same reaction. Stop normalizing soocd obsessions becoming true. It is someone’s worst nightmare. People are out here attempting because of it.

I have so many pocd real events, and false memories that im so tortured by mere existence of life... I genuinely have no one who can comfort me... because giving people reassurance is... unhealthy... and even then my false memory situations cant even be reassured because i dont know if its true or not... im so alone...

I made the mistake of asking the cards if im a p. I tried to read them but then just put them in chat gpt but asked it as if I was doing the reading on someone else. Chat gpt literally said “This does not scream “innocent person with intrusive thoughts.” This looks like a person with disturbing urges who is either ignoring, hiding, or justifying them — which is dangerous. There may be mental health issues involved (7 of Cups, 2 of Pentacles reversed), but the spread shows accountability is being avoided, and harm could be done if things go unchecked” So basically I got bad cards. I am sad and worried that this means something bad about me because my cards are usually right about a lot but have been wrong about very few things but I don’t know how to feel. If anyone is super into this stuff can you help me please?

I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off

17f So basically I think you know this whole accept and sit with the uncertainty thing. It applies to pocd as well. Because you can ruminate, test yourself, seek reassurance as much as you want but it will never be enough for you brain to be sure you are not a P. So you need to sit with "Maybe I am a P maybe not" and just don't do anything about it. So sometimes I can do that. But here comes moral ocd. If I accept the chanse of me being a pedophile, isn't it morally wrong for me to be around children? Look at children? Watch movies with children in it? Cause now I can't even look at children even if it was an accident without freaking out and thinking that I'm a monster. Sometimes it feels morally wrong to leave the house because there is a chanse I can meet a child on the street I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels paralyzing at this point. Seems like I can't do anything. Like I even need to cover children on the screen with my hand when I watch a movie. It's exhausting.

17f My ocd is hell on earth so I'm thinking about going to a psychiatrist maybe they will prescribe me meds cause my POCD is a torture and other themes are bad also But I'm scared that if I start taking meds I will become less cautions about looking at kids and interacting with kids and will do something fucked up and wrong Cause now I can't even look at kids I feel like it's morally wrong like if there is a chanse I'm a P and I'm scared meds will get rid of me being so so cautious around kids making sure I'm not aroused I'm not looking at them I'm not touching them and I will do something fucked up and then I won't deserve any redemption

18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

Lately I’ve seen way too many comments under posts about OCD, especially the harm, POCD, and relationship themes that are incredibly misinformed and honestly harmful. People saying things like “these thoughts are unnatural,”or “you need to go get real help” and encouraging confession ***compulsions*** when they clearly have no understanding of how OCD actually works. Let me be clear: OCD involves distressing and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges. That doesn’t make someone dangerous. It makes them someone with a mental illness who is terrified of their own brain. Saying these people are “unnatural” or implying they’re broken only reinforces shame, and shame is the opposite of what helps anyone heal. If you’re commenting under OCD-related posts on an OCD ***app*** without understanding what intrusive thoughts are, or what compulsions can look like, or **how OCD can attach itself to the things we fear most** then please, stop. You are not helping. You’re reinforcing stigma and pushing people further into silence. OCD is already isolating. We don’t need more people moralizing or projecting trauma theory onto something they haven’t experienced or don’t understand. If you really care, go learn. Read about intrusive thoughts. Learn about ERP therapy. Or maybe just listen. Because some of us are barely hanging on, and comments like those don’t just miss the point, they can do real damage. I’m sorry if I come off too angry, it just really upsets me to see people speak on something they clearly don’t understand. End of rant. Thank you for reading 🤍