Seeking support 18+

Thank you for responding. Do people without OCD experience this too?

@Anonymous Everyone has intrusive thoughts, they can just dismiss them without it causing a massive crisis that makes you question everything about yourself

@Anonymous Thank you for your reply. It doesn't get to me how peoole can just go on with their day after having an org@sm to an i intrusive thought 🙁

Thank you for sharing. Im giving you a virtual hug haha

Yeah I'll give you a top 5 haha: 1. My dad 2. Mom 3. Sister 4. My dog 5. Other less significant people

@Anonymous In that order?

@Cantfixit Yes

Thank you for this. It makes sense if I understand it correctly your saying that I focused so much on not thinking about my intrusive thoughts to the point that they are all I can think about? It resonates cause that's whay i do haha I always tell myself ,,try not to think" and when they happen I stop the action or try to shake them away and think of something else. But then am I suppose to just let them be? How can I let something so disturbing just happen? Thank you for your reply ❤️❤️

@Anonymous I’ll be totally honest and up front. The same thing happened to me when I was going through puberty. I was convinced I was a horrifying deviant. That’s when I got diagnosed with OCD and was given medication and those PARTICULAR thoughts went away because I rationalized them. Issues like this don’t spring up out of nowhere, and true perverts aren’t going to be obsessing over every off-limits subject they can think of. There’s occasional overlap, but someone truly engulfed by real all-encompassing sexual urges wouldn’t be able to function or reflect on it as much as you are. Think about fetishists. No matter how weird it is, they tend to just go with it and accept it as part of their makeup. This is the same with immoral sexual proclivities like pedophilia. I’m rambling because I’m not in the best state of mind myself right now (different issue, I got over those thoughts, you can too). My point is that you’re clearly demonstrating behavior not conducive to the behaviors of true deviants.

@Vallable992 Thank you so much for this. How did you manage to rationalize them? Some of my obsessions can seem very real like the one with being attracted to my dad I can even sometimes feel excitement, groinal responses or a feeling of wanting to impress him so he'll think that I'm cool haha but at the end of the day i know that i am scared of it and if it would be true then i would go most likely crazy lmao but I guess normal people seak validation from their parents too I do the same with my mom tho (so I don't know why it mostly focuses on my dad it makes me scared that it might be true if its so significant to me) I love to make her laugh my brain makes me think that its a way of me flirting with her. What an absurd isn't it?

@Anonymous This sounds quite Freudian. We not only seek validation from our parents, we form or anima and animus through them (look it up, it’s not that complex). The first step to realizing what we want from the opposite sex is first realized through the parents. Freud’s Oedipus complex gets a lot of guff, but that’s mostly because it’s misread and oversimplified. If you don’t mind my asking, do you feel like you get validation from your parents and men in general?

@Vallable992 To be honest I don't think that I have gotten a great amount of validation from my parents now its getting better but still and from men in general it's thinks like ,,your pretty" or ,,funny" and just flirting in general

@Anonymous Hm. Lucky you. I’ve never been flirted with XD. How long has it been getting better? Are your relationships with other men stable?

@Vallable992 Oh hows that possible? 🥲 It has been getting better for like a month haha and idk how to define a ,,stable relationship with a man" 🤔

How would you define my hormone dumps? To be fair with you I'm just 17 well almost 18 but still haha so i dont think that any relationship that I had with a guy haa any right to be called long lasting or stable etc yk that what kind of an age this is so I'll probably experience it once but not yet. And talking about my orientation well thats where things get complicated and I wouldn't say that its sexual orientation OCD cause i dont feel any fear towards being gay and etc i mean yeah it would be hard to realise that and I would have problems with publicly talking about it (i was raised as a Christian but my parents are supportive) but being straight forward after all the shit that I had with men i think that my brain doesn't really see them as "safe or mature and predictable" anymore haha so being with one could be uncomfortable for me also my attraction towards men ends when they have to pull their pants and when it comes to a woman I believe that they are more attractive physicly but also like more mature and understanding or something but being with one would made me want to be the "man" in the relationship yk taking care of her and etc which could made me feel left out but idk how much truth there is in it cause I have never been with a woman so yeah. Sorry for the long reply hahah

I think the worst part is just accepting that something like an intrusive thought may trigger orgasm and that it sorta happened and i have to live with it haha the problem is that i have this thing that i have to say "wrong" things that i have done to my close ones to like get reassurance that im still loved and accepted so that what my brain tells me to do with this situation or else I'll feel gross and anxious no matter what people here say 🥲