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I'm struggling. Not going to seek the reassurance I feel I NEED.

Right now ive been going through extreme ocd for 11 months and tried telling my family about it and gets constantly shut down then my mom acts so confused when I don’t want to talk to her or anyone in the house. She that only thing I should be worried about to my hair and how I have a roof over my head etc. btw ive been getting sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming and bad dreams most nights. Then have to wake up with my most agitating thoughts and it’s just a repeated cycle everyday?! And I want to tell my friends about it but convinced they’ll be the worst which would make me be the blame for everything EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT like I’m stressed right now because my mental health and staying silent trying to cope is too much

I was trying to sleep in an aunt house and I’m suffering from nightmares or when I take naps or sleep I dream horrible things, and I took a little nap and I was about to start having a nightmare and I woke up. There’s a person that lives here and he’s not even here but I was about to have a dream with him it’s so scary he’s not even my family member or anything. And like it’s a delicate topic. But it’s the feeling that I can’t even sleep sometimes without dreaming this things that are so scary . And the groinal responses are about to kill me ! This is truly destroying my life I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be like this but I’m too tired to stay awake and too tired to sleep

Hey guys recently I been facing anxiety because I have a fear that I acted on something I know I didn't do but it feels real because it felt like I had attraction and arousal to a younger photo of a ex gf I feel so weird feel so anxious I need help Idk what to do

Hello all. I'm new here. I've been having a horrendous time trying to beat repentance prayers. Please if you have advice I'm desperate. The things I'm fighting are: - "feelings" that I did something wrong - actually doing something wrong but not being able to pray quickly - rituals having to do with feet movements, hand movements, where I'm facing when I pray

I bought some books on OCD because I like education and would like to know a little more behind why I feel or think this way. I opened up to my mom about this and she keeps saying I’m obsessed with having OCD, she doesn’t actually believe I have it, and that I forced myself to have those thoughts. She then told me she’s going to ask her mental health provider (she’s a nurse) if you can give yourself a mental illness because she said there’s no way someone could spiral out of control within a few days the way I did.

WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.

I’m so scared I’ll be stuck in this forever soo soo scared

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I honestly feel so overwhelmed by my thoughts—so overwhelmed that I honestly don’t care anymore. I feel like I’m accepting the fact that I’m a monster and have always been a monster. I broke down last night because of these thoughts but I wouldn’t tell anyone if they asked. It wouldn’t make sense to them. This morning, I was watching a body cam video and the person that was arrested was traumadumping about their past SA. I felt like I liked the thoughts and images I got from it. And instead of being disgusted, I let it happen. What does this mean? Does this mean that I’m a monster? Am I a just a monster in disguise?

Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.

I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this

I think my ocd started with me being oversensitive like the fear and thoughts a lot of them have started with that I really hope I have control on emotions and triumph over ocd!!!

Please help…. I haven’t had an OCD spiral on this topic in well…a long time. For background, I’m in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I believe we will get married. When we first started dating, he had told me he had a roommate and me, having ocd, googled him to “make sure I wasn’t attracted to his roommate”. However, to my lovely anxious surprise, I didn’t know if I found his roommate attractive or not. In fact, I think I did find him attractive! This turned into a full spiral and what if thoughts, and it was horrible. Eventually I kinda learned to deal with it, but I always felt kind of awkward around his roommate. Fast forward 3 years later, he’s still one of his very best friends so we see him often. And sometimes, this thought still spikes. In full honesty, I actually DONT KNOW if I think his friend is attractive. I obsessed about it so much before I ever officially met him that once I met his friend, I didn’t know what I thought. Anyways, this randomly spiked again, and the thought is “if you’re still anxious you’re attracted to his friend 3 years later, that must mean something…” and boom, spiral. I have thoughts of “check if you’re attracted to him” when we’re around him and I’m so embarrassed honestly. Because at the end of the day, so what if he’s attractive? It’s not like I want to do anything about it, but of course, even saying that, ocd goes “are you sure? You should think of scenarios to check and make sure”. If anyone has been through this, can you please offer advice on how to disregard? I have a hard time accepting finding other people attractive while in a relationship is a normal thing

im scared. I keep compulsively praying for bad things or death on the people I love. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make anything better. I’m scared that these prayers count. I seal them as I do with most of my prayers in Jesus name and with a double amen. I’m scared God will want to teach me a lesson and make something come true. I’m scared I mean these prayers, I’m petrified. If something happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself :( I don’t know where to go from here

The compulsive praying for harm on others is back. I know compulsions are a choice, but right now, it feels impossible not to do them. I was spiraling because I thought about losing my boyfriend, and that scared me so much. But then, my brain twisted it with thinking that I would feel liberated and find comfort and new love if my boyfriend were “out of the way” and to this I almost felt excited? I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want him to die or go away. I don’t want him to be gone. But then, that spiraled into these awful thoughts where I felt like I had to pray for harm or death on him. I don’t know why I feel the urge to do this. It doesn’t feel like it will make anything better; it just makes me feel like it’s more likely to happen. I feel trapped in them. I don’t understand why my brain keeps doing this, can anyone help? Please

I am having a really hard time with ocd and anxious thoughts and feeling extremely uneasy. I'm home alone today so it's really easy for me to get stuck in my thoughts. I'm on day 4 of prozac. I felt like yesterday I had a period of time of about 30 minutes where I felt really focused and like the anxiety lifted completely. But then an obsession started and it brought me right back down. Hopefully I feel relief again today. I'm going to go get some house work done to take my mind off of things. Does anyone have any first hand experiences with prozac? How long until you felt any relief? Any really bad side effects? Any unforseen pluses? Much appreciated.

i’ve already posted about this before but i keep thinking about it. i was sitting next to a dog and it was laying on its back laying face away from me. i kept getting intrusive thoughts about touching the dog inappropriately. and i was petting the dog to prove to myself that i wouldn’t. i remember i was leaning on the dog. then he kicked me with his back legs three times. i also was rotating my shoulder cause it pops and cracks when i do and i was trying to relieve it. i think i touched the dog and on purpose too, because thoughts were going through my head. after the dog kicked me i sat there for a second just pure panic and i ran to the bathroom, just crying non stop. i dont think i deserve to cry tho. i think my life is a over. the more i try to remember the more scary thoughts of what could’ve happened pop up. i’m just in denial and i want to be sent to a mental hospital.

I hate how I have to avoid everything or I can't even think or enjoy using my imagination to create stuff in my head ranging from characters, stories, ideas or playing stories or movies in my head to play around with my characters and stuff like that or things like that and I really hate how I have to avoid doing that because of the OCD and it's frustrating not being able to enjoy the stuff that I want to enjoy cuz it feels like I have to avoid everything that I want to think about or enjoy. And I recently discovered for myself after watching one of the NOCD videos on their YouTube channel that I have pure o OCD and also explains how I have a hard time thinking that makes it even harder wanting to enjoy the stuff. I want to think I want to play with my imagination and working on my characters and things like that I'm avoiding having any more of what I have left being tainted by the OCD and the fact that I don't want people I no longer associate with in of having the OCD tainting the creations I want to create in my head with my imagination and what not. It's getting really annoying and frustrating with how much I have to avoid everything that I want to think about and enjoy in my head it feels like the pent up feeling is becoming more and more and more stress ing the more I have to avoid stuff just to protect what I have left from the OCD and I don't know how to deal with this and it doesn't help. I'm trying to save watching YouTube videos and stuff like that for later when I finally get my own place when when I'm free from everything I'm trying to get away from so I can enjoy everything I've been wanting to enjoy if I've been holding out on from videos, animations and things like that to make what it is. I want to enjoy more precious and meaningful and don't want have bad experiences with everything I'm dealing with right now in life ruining those experiences

Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?

Im at work and work is where my ocd is triggered most. I plugged in the solar panels and remembered my friend whos an electrician. Than i had intrusive thoughts of his daughter and sexual intrusive thoughts. I felt so anxious and am having a hard time breathing. I said a prayer and kept working. Then ocd said was i praying for something inappropriate but thats absurd and not true. Then the intrusivr thought was of female erogenous areas. It was just a thought of a female provate lart. It was like the thought of my friends face then his daughters face then the female erogenous part. So ocd says was the intrusive thought of a adult female erogenous part or a minors. Then ocd says i like adult women so did i like the thought of the female private part. Idk what the thought was it was just a female erogneous part that popped in my head. I know im not a pedophile. I know i dont want ocd thoughts. I know the thoughts made me anxious. Then ocd says if it was a intrusive thought of a small female erogenous part its a pocd intrusive thoughts. If it was a thought of a big female erogenous part it is an adults part. Idk what the thought was tbh now my memorys blurred. I just recall having their faces pop in my head then a thought of a female private part and i remember being super anxious panicking and having a hard time breathing from the anxiety. I know this is indication its ocd and anxiety. I dont like these thoughts and dont want them. Im not a pedophile. Im terrified by the thoughts and i know my anxious reaction disproves the ocd intrusive thoughts and doubts. I know who i am. Im a faithful husband and not a pedophile. I dont want these thoughts it’s distracting me from work as im ruminating and writing this. I feel like crying. I dont want sexual intrusive thoughts. I dont want pocd thoughts. Help!