Bleh I hate OCD

(I gotta harp first these are false. It’s a messy situation but was years ago.) My OCD loves to harp on a false accusation that happened years ago. It was false, went after my fiance, and the person who did it bullied us so much. This person would go back and forth from trying to be our friends, trying to date my fiance after claiming terrible things, then bullying, etc. and I feel bad cause my fiance has done everythin to not induce my OCD worse but also not let me spiral because I’ve known my fiance for years, inside and out, everyone that knows all of us knows the accusations are false. But I ran into this person a couple months ago, walked into a store they were at, and it made me crumble. I’m so scared, I get the what if’s like what if they’ll ruin my life, what if they were telling the truth(that one bothers me despite knowing the truth it’s just causing me to doubt myself), and idk how to accept it is what it is and I’m not a bad person for trusting someone who’s story was consistent, character is consistent, etc instead of the person who compulsively lied about several people I know and bullied me 🥲 I don’t think anyone else who trusts my fiancé is a bad person obviously, because most of them know all of us and the entire story. This one feels so taboo cause we’re both very caring people who try not to hurt anyone, and I often advocate for people who were hurt in s/a, etc so ugh. Idk, any advice on how to manage the OCD and anxiety so I can go back to living my life? Is it just accepting it is what it is?

Tajmcd10

Date posted: 11h

I am going through the same thing! Someone accused my fiance of something and it was false but my mind goes what if it was true? Everybody I know says they don’t think it happened as well I remember it not being true but my mind says it what if she is telling the truth? What if my memory is wrong? What if he is lying? Could you tell me more about your situation maybe we could help relate to each other?

SillySoupDuck

Date posted: 11h

@Tajmcd10 It feels so relieving to know someone has a similar thing! It’s so rough. It’s a long story, but this person spread this and my fiancé distanced, staying away fast. Police were involved and her story was inconsistent. Then after spreading it and stuff, she took it back and begged him to date her again. He just wanted it to end and they were very young so he caved but he was so traumatized and scared, so they broke up. Then she tried to spread it again after that. Later, she followed him around school, pretending to be friends, forcing herself upon me to be my “friend” and then she bullied me. (Sent me a drawing she found of me and then scribbled devil horns on them.) she ended up just changing her story, lying about others, dating someone her best friend at the time had accused of s/a, etc so much shit. We stay far away from her now that high school is long in the past and we don’t run into her. Just the store run in was SCARY! I know how it feels to have what if’s even when your fiance has proven, shown, and the other party is not consistent. It’s scary and makes you feel horrible. But I remind myself I don’t think others are horrible for believing my fiance. It was a he said she said situation and his story was consistent, straight, and his character has never faltered from it. I hope you feel better I truly do. It is awful when our disease attacks someone we love the most. But I’ve had OCD for years, and to be honest this is temporary. Just push through, don’t reassurance search. Accept this is what it is and you’re allowed to be happy with someone without knowing every single thing about them for sure cause reality? Nobody can be certain about anything. That saying though, this is such a rough fixation, I’m scared to go to OCD based therapy for it honestly

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