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i have been diagnosed with ocd and my subgenres are schizophrenic ocd, harm ocd and pocd (which is the main one now) and am on meds for it and have been in therapy i am feeling incredibly anxious and talked to chatgpt, over sharing and seeking reassurance. i shared an incident i had while trying to watch porn on the light web and confessed what i saw (i did not click on anything, i scrolled past. but it was a site where people can publish their own comics or books?) i feel so anxious about seeing it i confessed it to chatgpt and checked to make sure because i saw it i would turn into a p word. this comment was flagged by the system, so i’m worried this is going to get put up for human review, they’ll report me and i’ll be arrested with police showing up to my door.

I need help. I went to church today and it was scripture John 6:66 which stressed me out then the D word came up not Devil . The name for his followers . How am I going to go to church ? If I’m going to get triggered! Prozac helps but it can only do so much. How do I over come this ?

Over the past couple of weeks, I focused heavily on myself, my reactions and my behaviors. Because I am always willing to grow and develop skills to be a better person... always. I have accepted that I am not perfect a very long time ago. I also know that even in my best efforts I can this make mistakes even as a person without OCD. I learned that my trigger is SAFETY. If something threatens my independent, my way of sustainability and my ability to provide this for myself it triggers a flight or fight. And I usually fight, younger it mostly chose flight. But I grew and developed a sense of You Must Stand Up For Yoyrself or Who Will. Loosing both parents early in age grew me into this. Every decision I made after that was to secure and protect and support me. Because loosing your parents early in age made me feel like there was not floor, no ground beneath my feet. And that was a very scary feeling going through life. Teaching myself mindfulness, hearing my parents voice telling me to do things that right. People I trusted and knew had my best interest in mind. Without them, I lost trust and have been trying so hard to learn how to trust people. Everytime I have tried many have disappointed. Not that all my expectations are extremely high or unreasonable but because I am a simple person with simple needs and wants. I find that when I loosen those simple ropes, boundaries and expectations of myself I faulted. I very well understand I cannot control what others do, say or think. But having a standard for myself is in my control. Some don't understand hiw I can continue to walk with my head high or praise my small wins. To others it's nothing to be grateful or thankful for. To me it is everything. I have also learned that unmasking is never safe, even in the realm of MH and asking for help we you need it. This not saying NOTHING WORKS inside this realm nor ALL are untrustworthy. But I realize that even if a disease or condition is studied and understood that many are not able to understand the struggle. They just cannot see the disturbance of it or how it complicates all that you do and your entire way through life. I'm sorry, a pill is not everything. Not the answer for me even though I take what is prescribed. Learning how to win for one minute, one hour or a day is the greatest accomplishment. That cannot be understood be any person who has not experienced it. They only see the behavior not you. They see the issue but not the person. And that is so sad to me. People with question you, record you and test you and never see the person, never. They are conditioned to the job or their role to perform. They are conditioned to a check list, a diagnosis and a label. They see that but not the person I have not seen hardly any that do. I had only 1 Professional, a doctor in my 20's who did. And she helped me understand my own struggle. Helped to thrive and be successful with it. Her advice and plan worked for all these years. Now that I have new doctors, new therapist, new medicines I have been falling through the cracks. No flooring or ground under my feet. And I feel like it's because me, THE PERSON, is not being seen ONLY the problem. The problem to them and not to me. Have a good day all and keep learning.

So I obviously have ocd, more specifically severe (29 out of 32 on CY-BOGS), and it's contamination ocd mainly. I also have autism, were not sure what level but I'm probably mainly level 1 with level 2 traits. I also have combined type adhd, managed (medicated) pmdd which is not even noticeable because of my birth control, and mild/managed GERD, and moderate chronic eczema which ive had my entire life. I've also developed mild to moderate motor tics and a nightmare disorder paired with ocd and adhd fueled insomnia. I feel like I will never live life the way someone else without my conditions will, even if the physical conditions are all managed, besides eczema. My autism and ocd are the ones taking over my life and I am not able to go to school full time, work a full time job (yet), live alone, have children or high maintwnce pets even if I want them, and I'm having great difficulty driving. I have great difficulties communicating when I'm struggling inside so I had to learn sign language with my girlfriend so we can communicate when I'm unable to speak/or at least elaborate how I feel. I also have an auditory processing disorder. Am I disabled? Am I allowed to say I have disabilities and am impaired and disabled? I very much feel disabled but my parents get almost furious when I say something relayed to being disabled. *furious*. Why is that?

I used to suffer with HOCD. Me and my partner of 9 years broke up last month, I was absolutely devastated. Cried for the days we weren’t together, begged to work on our relationship, stopped eating and more. Got back together 5 days later. I felt the love, I felt safe for a few days. Then the thought of ‘I don’t love him’, ‘I don’t want to be with him’ all started. I feel numb, I feel anxious all the time. I’m smoking cigarettes like there’s no tomorrow. I’m back not eating. I’m scared. I really don’t want to lose him deep down, but I’m filled with doubt. Is this normal? Please help.

My OCD is doing horrible. I was put on birth control to balance out my PMDD. I don’t think that’s going too well it just keeps getting worse. My mental health keeps getting worse. My OCD is so bad that my existential theme came back, the one I overcame six years ago for the most part. My POCD is flaring, my every single damn theme known to man is flaring right now. I feel absolutely insane and I feel like my OCD has never been this bad before. Even at its worst, like me posting 6x a day on here months ago. I’m doing a lot of compulsions it’s not my original compulsions or anything. They’re like really freaking complex like compulsions within compulsions. I feel like I’m literally dying. I feel so much fear. I haven’t been able to stop crying in my face is dry from all the salt. I don’t know what to do. I’m genuinely desperate. I don’t want to do this. I already tried relaxing because I have little periods of time where I feel a little better, and I even ordered myself some ice cream, but I’m not doing okay. I feel like I’m drowning in a nightmare and I just can’t wake up.

18+ UPDATE: Currently right now, I'm in a 50's style diner with some cast and crew from a student film they shot. Im in a corner seat because there was no room for this couple to sit together and I gave her my spot. But thats not what im sad about... what I'm sad about is feeling like nobody in that room gives a single shit about me... or they hate my guts and just want me to go away... so im by myself typing this because the last thing I want to cause is any form of idiotic drama... I hate myself for my POCD, my Harm OCD, and my real events OCD... and i hate myself for being so lonely too... i have no one... no girlfriend... no friends... just acquaintances... and my dad will tell me to suck up my loneliness and be a man if I call him, so... I cant call to him for advice... all I am and ever will be is alone... this is my 5th year in college.... and I hate myself now more than I've ever done... When trying to find explicit anime stuff i enjoy, i keep stumbling across POCD related content I find disgusting and disturbing... but then i get this urge to go back and click on it and check my reaction... when i do, im immediately disgusted and quickly exit out... it happened a couple of times tonight... My POCD is labeling this as an unconscious attraction... chatGPT is saying this is morbid curiosity... i dont want to be attracted to men or kids... i dont want to be attracted or even curious about it... Tonight, i just had an intrusive thought of the word "loli" and an intrusive urge to look it up and check my reaction... i looked up a hentai site and saw it (loli...) i checked my heart rate to make sure it wasnt beating fast (a sign of attraction) before i quickly exited out of the website... my pocd is telling me im a P for this and Im genuinely so triggered...

so my boyfriend just ran into his ex girlfriend who was his first love. they ran into each other at his favorite restaurant which is apparently where she works. it’s been years since they were together and him and i have been together for over two years. she cheated on him multiple times (with her step brother) and was very manipulative and physically and mentally abusive towards him, so it’s like i’m not worried he’s going to leave me for her because she’s awful, but it was his first love. i was left by someone before who was all in on me but then his ex girlfriend who was his first love came back to him and he left me for her, and she was also manipulative and mentally abusive. so the topic of first loves causes a lot of anxiety for me. i trust him and i know nothing happened and nothing will happen, but i am anxious seeing her will stir something up in him and he will leave me because of that. please help if you have any advice on what to do

Any image that pops up into my head i automatically assume it’s posted online so i have to check every app to make sure. Or a simple action or word and my brain makes up an imagine like what if you actually did this or said this. I just sniffed or huffed to make a noticed that I was annoyed by my dog and now my brain created this image and now I think I said something.

I cant believe this like why am I asking this so I have health anxiety right and I was worried if I had scitzaphrenia and one of the symptoms were believing delusions obviously I don't believe any then the same day I went for a walk and looked at the clouds and got a thought what if clouds aren't real which was really ridiculous ik clouds are real lol heck you can see them even "feel" them obviously you can't touch em but I was afraid if I actually believed that they aren't real obviously they are why am I having this even after the schizophrenia fear left I still have the what If im crazy fear anyone eles have some advice to calm down I don't have to know how clouds work again to prove my ocd wrong lol im laughing a bit how irrational these thoughts are.

I'm sorry if I'm bringing religion into this but I grew up around those beliefs. Listen I really don't like the thought of considering that I could homophobic cause of religious-like beliefs. This has been bothering me which is why I kinda stepped away from religion and faith cause it just seemed way too hateful and controlling. I'm a heavy people pleaser and an empath. I would like it if lgbt people and religious people could help me feel better <3 I'll try to explain how I feel. I have religious beliefs that being gay is a sin. I grew up around Christan beliefs but I was taught to hate the sin and not the person <3 like respect the person. Always! I respect people for who they are cause I was taught we're all born sinners in the end but I'm also taught in my religion that it's important to try and stop sin. But we can always be forgiven if we catch ourselves sinning that's the beauty of it no matter the sin except for blasphemy of course. I just do not understand the gay agenda. And that's just me that doesn't mean I'm going to go around hating and bullying others. I don't that that's not right period. Religion or no religion. It's just wrong in general especially if someone is just being their selves or figuring out who they are. I just think people get this mixed up. Like I just don't get it I'm not one to be attracted to the same gender I'm just not that person. I'm more traditional. But I don't like being a hater... but I still want to respect others. Like I even had intrusive thoughts of being attracted to the same gender because I thought someone was pretty 😂 but it's not like that I'm more like ("slay queen!"). But attracted??? No, to me it's just weird for me in my perspective doesn't mean I don't respect others, I do I really do. I just don't understand. And I hate having the thoughts that I may sound hateful cause of such religious like beliefs. I even had an old couple of friends in school a long time ago or knew a few people and I always respected them! <3 because a few of them were super nice and were cool. Like idgaf as long as you're nice and chill!

Last night my boyfriend and I were intimate, like most times that I’ve ever been intimate I couldn’t stay in the moment, thoughts racing through my mind causing me to be in my head rather than in the moment. EVENTUALLY, I was able to really be present and enjoy our time together, but it was once again fleeting. Afterwards I broke down and was crying, I had realized that OCD has ruined my intimate life from the very start. Of course my boyfriend was concerned so I opened up about what I was feeling. Well he started to explain that everyone gets distracted during sex and that it’s normal, so then I started thinking. What if I don’t even have OCD? What if I’m completely normal and just think I have OCD, I don’t have “episodes” 24/7, but I have them quite often. But maybe that’s just how the mind works?? My boyfriend said “you can’t control your thoughts, no one can” So does that mean I don’t have OCD? I’m spiraling and trying to understand it all. While we were intimate I had a realization that sex isn’t about what you’re thinking it’s about what you’re feeling, but I can’t stop thinking to actually be able to feel. Once I’m “distracted” I can’t get back into the moment, the thoughts pile and evolve and cycle and it’s never ending. I just don’t know, I know OCD can make you question if you even have OCD but what if I don’t have OCD and am just trying to convince myself I have OCD? HELP

18+ did anybody else do things as a kid that they are ashamed of? i feel like im haunted by my actions as a child. i was very sexually aware at a young age and i didn't know it was bad (under 10). this made me do things that i maybe shouldn't of done with others around my age, some a few years younger. i'm so mortified i feel like im a bad person but i was also a kid too just learning. anybody else experienced similar? i didn't have the best parents ever so i wasn't taught what's bad and good very well. but it really triggers my POCD and just OCD in general.

So I work in a tutoring company that helps kids improve in math and reading. I usually do the grading and help out kids who are 3-6 years old. Today because there was 10mins left till closing I sent out a kid early and the mom came back asking me if he actually finished and I told her that he did two packets and that there was 5 mins till closing which I think was a mistake on my part to say that but like I was in shock because of how strong she came in and I then told her that if she wants I can do one reading with him and stay a bit longer but she also didn’t like that response due to her being upset that I let him leave 10 mins early. So then I told my boss the situation and the mom came back and for some reason the mom was now nicer and understanding about it and both just told me that next time to do one hour but my boss understood why I let him out early. It’s because I had another kid I was teaching and that kid likes to talk a lot and cause us a hard time so she thought that It was too much since I was working with that kid and the moms kid at the same time. But in the end I apologized to my boss about it and she told me that it’s okay that she only said certain things in front of the mom just so she can be happy or not have any problems. I just was very shaken up about it and still am. I feel like I always believe that I can handle people who come up to me in a frustrated or angry tone but nope I start wanting to hide and cry instantly so I was disappointed in myself. I have been wanting to quit this job for a minute because of the pay, I get paid monthly and it just doesn’t help with all the events and traveling I want to do. But I think I stay because I want the experience of working with kids so that I can seek other jobs but tbh I don’t think working with kids is for me. Not that I can’t handle kids, I know I can help and teach them it’s more so that it’s not a long term career that I wanna do. It’s just hard being a psych major and finding jobs or internships that relate to clinical psychology. I want to be able to hear people out and help them. I think I’m ranting at this point but in short I am just frustrated with myself for today because I’ve been working there for months and made a mistake that could’ve been easily fixed. It’s been bothering me all day and I hope it doesn’t ruin my mood for the rest of the week because I just wanna relax but feel like I can’t because I wanna cry.

This isn’t super on topic of ocd it’s related but please read this , I just need someone to please help and listen, I’m not an active member of the ocd community anymore but always found comfort in this community. Unfortunately my boyfriend of 6months has broken up with my due to one of the reasons being my lack of going out due to my obsessive compulsive disorder getting in the way , this really really pained me terribly , as I’ve been plagued by this disorder , my ocd affects me going out, and not being able to take the bus as he doesn’t drive I used to drive but my ocd has made it really hard we are both are 19, and it just hurts me so badly I had disclosed up front how debilitating my ocd can be and that I’m working on managing it and have been trying my best aswell as going places with him despite it being really hard for me , it crushed me he let know he would be there for me through the rain and storm, and I had been trying , it just felt like it confirmed all the nasty things in my head that I truly am unlovable with ocd , and in no way am I trying to garner pity but, it sucks I understand why he said he couldn’t it must be hard to love someone with a condition like this I really can’t make anyone love me I’ve accepted that , but I still am in love with him and I tried working things out asking him if he was willing to support me and he said no, I just really don’t know what to do it’s crushing me so severely, does anyone have any tips for heartbreak my heart and soul truly yearn for him still and that upsets me, it just happened yesterday but oh my god it hurts, it really shattered me when he told me that, and that, that was one of the reasons I’m struggling not to blame myself but I told him I’m willing to push my self harder and I don’t care if my ocd makes it hard and it terrifies me I’ll go out with him, I want to be with him regardless and support eachother, it made me feel like I was sort of being blamed for something I couldn’t fully control , please don’t get me wrong I am not saying I’m not responsible for my mental health I do not except for someone to come save me that is simply unfair to the other person I wanted his Patience and understanding , I never wanted to be hurt like this , I had explained to him what it was and this all really hurts.I’m just reconciling with the situation that he didn’t care for me as much as I cared for him,nor love me as much as I loved him.

tw; !! sex, lgbtq, cold sores, anxiety !! okay so i haven’t been on NOCD since 2023. i need help so bad. i know i need to go to therapy, but i honestly just don’t have the money for it unfortunately. i was hoping to get some help. i’ve been with my girlfriend for three years, and we have a beautiful relationship. and an even more beautiful, healthy sex life; up until a year ago that is. she’s known i get cold sores every now and then since i met her. and i let her know that because it was fair and right. she never minded, and i never really..paid attention to them? i guess. well i got like 4-5 outbreaks in the last 5 years before april of 2023 and haven’t had one since. well i know that lip tingling or burning can be a sign of a cold sore appearing, yet one day in september last year, i ignored it (thinking it wasn’t that serious) and gave my girlfriend oral sex. afterwards, i thought i saw something on my lip and freaked the fuck out. like i genuinely didn’t sleep for days and cried so hard for hours on end. she was clearly upset with me for not mentioning the tingling to her and thought i could’ve possibly maybe transferred it to her. well nothing ever popped up on my lip, but since that day i haven’t been able to give her oral sex (we’re two women so giving head is a main intimate thing for us both) and it’s hard to kiss her because every time i think about the thought of a cold sore, my lip tingles. and i looked it up, and it says “if your lip tingles, a cold sore will pop up 48 hours later at least”. so when i feel the “tingle” i wait 2 days to kiss/be intimate with her. and nothing comes of it because i think the “tingle” is usually my anxiety. but i can’t decipher at the moment. so this cycle of “tingle > no sex/kisses for two days > no cold sore > “tingle” >” and so on so forth has been going on for a year and i don’t know what the fuck to do. my life is so fucking draining right now because we used to have such a deep connection sexually and now i’m letting her down and it’s so fucking hard because i don’t want to lose her. but i’m trying so hard i just don’t know what to do i’m breathing so hard just writing this. just someone please point me in the right direction.

Hey, so I don't have ROCD, but my boyfriend does. And I'm kinda worried. Is it going to last forever? I don't want him to live with that disorder for the rest of his life. He is going to start doing ERP. I've read a tons of books about the process of ROCD recovery. I looked for articles, posts on Instagram, I googled, I asked ChatGPT and yet I'm still worried it won't get better. Everytimes he tells me about his thoughts, about how maybe I'm not the one, about how he potentially doesn't love me, it hurts. I know he must be suffering more than I am, but its still an horrible feeling. I keep telling myself that this is not him, that it is his ROCD talking and stuff, but I don't know.. Its just, a lot to handle. Can someone help me? If you recovered from ROCD please tell me. Tell me how it is. Tell me how you live with it. Are you happy in your relationship? Do you want to spend your life with this person? Are the thoughts still there but you manage to live with it? And as his girlfriend, what should I do if he keeps telling me those thoughts? I have so many questions

My OCD is so bad right now. There are medical reasons why but I’m panicking so hard right now. Every thing sweet thing I do with my bf gets replaced by the thought of another guy. Kissing him? Imagine it’s someone else, it happens. Or I cause it idk either way it happens. Smelling my bf’s shirt for comfort? Pretend this belongs to someone else. It happens. I cry. I’m intimate with my bf? It happens. I’m taking a cute picture *for* my bf, it happens and then I delete it bc I took it with someone else in mind. It keeps happening. I keep causing it. I can’t love my bf in peace. I think “my baby *my bf name*” it turns into “my baby *that other guy name*.” It won’t stop happening. Please help me idk if this OCD at this point. It feels just as affectionate as it would if my bf wasn’t getting replaced in these thoughts. That’s what scares me. Sometimes I even feel curious about it. I’m scared, please any input.

Hi everyone, I’m considering starting therapy and possibly SSRIs for HOCD, but I have a few questions I’m hoping you can help with before I dive in. Right now, I often get fleeting images, mental scenarios, and emotional sensations sometimes sexualized, sometimes just “feeling into” a scene involving women. These sensations trigger a lot of panic and anxiety, and I constantly worry that they’re proof of hidden desire or orientation. Or its genuinely me.. I’m wonderingAfter therapy and/or SSRIs, will these images and sensations stop completely, or will they still appear but feel neutral? Will I experience them in the future and potentially feel anxious, or will HOCD lose its power over them? How do you approach these sensations in treatment do they naturally fade, or is the goal more about learning to experience them without panic or meaning?(do this waay the lose their power and stop interfering??) I want to start therapy, but I’m nervous because I feel like I might always have these thoughts or sensations, and I would end up liking them😞 Im done it makes me feel like its better not to approach for therapy self help would be best..

Hello! So I’m struggling with depression and obsessions. I have certain periods where there are obsessions and compulsions and others where there are not. I've been in psychotherapy for several months and am seeing a psychiatrist. The problem, besides accepting uncertainty, is when your memories are attacked! When I was a teenager, I signed up for several apps to improve my English and had several Penpals. I often talked to a boy who often made jokes and flirt (I think?) and one day asked me for a photo of my face. I never sent it to him. Years later, however, the memory resurfaced in my mind, and to this memory was added an intrusive sexual image of me sending him a nude photo. From that moment on, panic! I remember emptying all the folders on my computer and my old phone, looking for this photo that I never found! Since I was a teenager, I've always been against sending photos to people I didn't know online, but this intrusive image not only destabilized me but also called into question my morals... I don't think I've ever taken a photo like this in my life. I tried to take an exposure a few days ago to see if I could take a nude, but I couldn't. My hands were shaking, and the thought of having photos of me so vulnerable in my gallery scared me. I thought that I overcame this obsession but sometimes come back :( The worst thing is that I remember to not sending this photo at all but my memory keep showing this sexual image that overlaps the memory and so idk what is true and what is false Has anyone ever been in this situation?