How did you get yourself to start ERP Therapy?

I’m fairly sure I’m not the only one who thinks this—though I understand it’s a bit illogical—but I’m afraid of starting ERP. So much of my obsessional thoughts and compulsion make up who I came to become after years of serious neglect in my adolescents. You can imagine then how some aspects of my OCD I firmly don’t think I will ever even want to change. I have a weird attachment to them. I suppose fundamentally I’m afraid of unraveling my OCD and not being able to reorganize myself. I’ve been in therapy for 3 years between a multitude of psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists, etc. Generally I’m open to whatever help I can get—I even tried TMS therapy and did 36 sessions but the most relief I got from that was that I no longer felt the compulsion to bite my nails. I want to know how/if you’re able to accept the uncertainty of what your potential therapist will or won’t want to change. I guess I feel strongly that I would not be a pleasant client in ERP because I’m very stubborn about certain aspects of my OCD.

Estrid

Date posted: 2d

Get you. I am also stubborn. But ERP is a teamwork and you will take steps that you are willing to take, not forced to do. I hope you'll find a good therapist that you feel safe with.

Rae0fsun

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

You are in the drivers seat with ERP. Although your therapist is there to guide you and encourage you, they won’t make you do anything you’re not ready for. They help you create a hierarchy of your OCD. You start at the bottom for a reason because it’s easier to tackle your obsessions that don’t feel so deeply engrained. I did a ton of ERP with spiders which was something I was always scared of but didn’t feel like it was the crux of my ocd. You start to see that you can apply the skills from easier exposures to your day to day life and tackle bigger things you never thought were possible.

austn365

Date posted: 19h

@Rae0fsun This was a phenomenal explanation, I appreciate you

RayMoe

Date posted: 2d

If you've never had ERP as a form of OCD treatment before I can understand your worry. I had so much anxiety last night that I spiraled. I met with my therapist a 2nd time today and she mapped everything out for me. It seems ERP is very evidence based and organized and they move at your pace.

austn365

Date posted: 19h

@RayMoe How long did it take you to find a therapist that was a good fit? If you don’t mind me asking

RayMoe

Date posted: 15h

@austn365 I was assigned a therapist with NOCD. I'm still getting to know her so I'm not sure yet but everything good so far.

mjabel25

Date posted: 2d

For me, I was so exhausted of the constant loop and cycles continuing with my thoughts. I’d get over a theme, be fine for a few months, and then it would circle back and feel either more intense or like I was never able to get through it before. I don’t want to keep living in this inbetween space for the rest of my life. I will say that it is hell right now fighting through the thoughts (a lot of constant anxiety) but I’m holding on until it gets better

austn365

Date posted: 19h

@mjabel25 In between space is such a good way of putting it, I hope the best for us! Sharing your experience helps me feel less obtuse about my own OCD, I appreciate you

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