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I’ve been my job for almost 2 years now and I can not shake the constant worry that I am going to do something to mess it up. I’m constantly checking things over and over to make sure they’re correct to the point where I almost don’t believe my own eyes anymore. Everyday I go home with something to be anxious about. Today me and a coworker got in a bit of a tiff and I can’t stop thinking about it (even though I was totally right to be upset 🤣) everyday I play out fake scenarios that may happen because of what I said or did. Occasionally I will worry if I had written something inappropriate on the work I turn in. There’s no amount of reassurance that can make me stop worrying and I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m new here and would love some suggestions!

My perfectionism OCD has me looking for the inevitable flaws in people, and when I find those flaws, I distance myself. This only leads to loneliness and isolation, which brings its own set of emotions. I’m doing this to myself and hurts.

I really want to die The only thing that keeps me here are my children I can't do that to them... But the torture is unreal... My quality of life is destroyed ritual after ritual after ritual. It's like I have two minds. I want to be normal but the other side of my mind says no! I will not let you be freaking normal You will obey my command and do your rituals everyday out of fear! I can't take it anymore I really just want to die! I pray to God everyday but there hasn't been any answers from him. I'm a devout Christian and a Jesus follower. Where is my Savior? Why does God and Jesus keep on letting us live this way through torture? I feel like I'm a blasphemer for saying that, I'm done I need help! Like we all do!

So I am a practicing Catholic, and I've gotten into reading the Bible this year, praying the Rosary, things like that, and while I love to do that, my OCD has been seeming to take over, in ways such as like I have to read the Bible for a certain amount of time before I'm satisfied with the time read, or something along those lines, and it's starting to make the thought of praying and reading the Bible unenjoyable, which is really hurting me inside, because I used to and want to enjoy it so bad, but now this is making it really hard to, because it feels like I don't have control over my own thoughts, and little things trigger the thoughts, it's just so annoying. If there's anything anyone thinks I can do to combat this please let me know.

*Trigger Warning: Work, Mistake, Harm, Real Event* Afraid to post this… One of the worst theme I've ever had is the fact that I made a mistake at work many years ago and will not be able to find out if anyone was harmed. My brain takes the worst-case scenario as reality (which is so painful), and researching has only led to more panic. I have been thinking about this incident for about a year now and am filled with fear and guilt. Is there anyone here with similar experiences or tips that could help? I would be grateful for any response...

my mom has been on this adhd kick where she thinks everyone has adhd instead of what they actually have because apparently it can present itself as anxiety. well i told her i was taking prozac because that’s something she needs to know since i still live at home. and she’s fine with it because it’s my choice. however, she comes into my room because she sent me a video about adhd. in the video, at the end, it says “girls with adhd may develop perfectionist or obsessive compulsive tendencies.” THEN, she has the audacity to tell me my compulsions didn’t start to show until after high school when that isn’t true at all. i just never talked about it, but of course she doesn’t believe me. i just feel so invalidated because after all of the hell i’ve been through, to be told i don’t have what i most certainly am positive i do have is atrocious. i would lose my mind if i was told i didn’t have ocd because of the intrusive thoughts i get that make me feel like a terrible person. i feel like being told that sets me back so far and makes me want to thought spiral a bit. i’m so upset.

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.

But the difference is felt in day to day life. Many things I used to get caught up on I can now do easily. Being a teacher, an email to a parent to thank them for a gift would take at least 45 minutes to write and recheck. Today, instead of engaging, I noticed I wanted to recheck & sent it anyway. I have started practicing an instrument and doing things I’m “bad” at yet enjoy. I have more energy & have had to find new hobbies and routines to get that out (still a work in progress on that one). Although it’s hard, I am able to relax and enjoy myself if I actively make the choice to commit to the activity - be it hanging out with friends, reading or playing a video game. Before, all I did was think and obsess. I was too preoccupied for hobbies. All of this to say, things aren’t perfect & I still have work to do, but things are certainly much easier than at the start of the journey. Now to keep going to see if I can conquer my bee phobia alongside OCD 👀🥹

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but people with OCD think very differently then everyone else and we do strange things. I used to think OCD was just that we overthink to much and have compulsions to fix it, but its kinda alot more than that i realise. Like peoples lives are legit debilitated from this thing. Thats serious and i dont think others realise that. Mabye im concerned too much idk.

Hello everyone, this is my first post on here. I hope you are all well. I’m currently experiencing what I call ‘anticipated regret’ and the only way I can describe it is having thoughts such as: “If you don’t do X thing then you will regret it later in life and not feel fully fulfilled.” It’s giving me quite a bit of anxiety as I just want a peaceful life without worrying about experiences I haven’t had. I hope this makes sense!

What would I do for ERP if my OCD says because I didn’t do something correctly or remember something I will have panic attacks that don’t end?

I am a freshman in college diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression. I have been on medication for 2 months but I do not see any improvement yet. College has become an anxiety fuel now and I can’t study because I am too anxious and sometimes I cry when I try to. I can’t perform well in classes and the workload is stressing me out. During the first exam season I was a wreak but I wasn’t yet on meds and that’s when my depression appeared. The thing is I can’t really do the normal routine things and I don’t find happiness in the things that were my hobbies. I don’t know how I’ll be able to tell my parents if I do it because my mom is really on about the fact that I can do it cause I’m strong and now I just feel like I will disappoint her. If anyone that went or is going through this let me know your experience.

I haven't been able to read about experiences similar to mine when it comes to my perfectionism OCD so I was wondering if anyone had any "uncommon" experiences.

I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.

Someone I care about has OCD, he often gets worried to answer certain things in fear that he might be wrong or gets anxious in times when certain conversations such as dealing with negative emotions come into play and in the event something goes wrong even though we deal with the issue it takes him a long time to put himself back together. Often times worried about his image, hyper focused on being a good person etc etc. I believe I’m doing my best but as someone who doesn’t struggle with OCD I cant fully comprehend him and i wish to learn more about it, not just read it off of google. Any advice would be appreciate it. -Thank you!

I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.

I want to move on and accept my past mistakes, but I feel like truly forgiving myself isn’t acceptable. My therapist says not to judge my past self but seek to understand. But if what I’ve done has gone against my moral values, how exactly do I do this? I’ve learned my lesson, and I just want to move on. But that feels like letting myself off the hook. Any tips or advice??

Hey guys just wondering if anyone suffers from this type of OCD. I feel a big struggle to even begin things because it doesn’t feel right or if I resume things it doesn’t feel right. Anyone have any advice ? Thank you