Hard day

Hi everyone! I just want to share that I’m having a really hard day, selfishly, to feel better. But some of you might relate to it. I’ve been obsessing about my looks and body image. I feel soo ugly, like almost deformed, “abnormal, ill” looking. Like I have never seen anyone that looked as ugly as me. And I spend hours checking myself and doing skincare and using face sculpting tools compulsively. I also feel VERY very alone partially due to this being isolating but also just being back at my (abusive) parents home for the summer. I feel very empty today like nothing makes me excited or matters. I feel like a disgusting, awkward, incapable, undeserving little creature. Like everybody else on this world is in a group chat,and im the only one left out lol. I went shopping today to feel something and ended up compulsively buying stuff and shocker, now im feeling 10x worse, more empty. But I am also stressed about the money and feel extremely guilty. I feel worthless. I guess i should just let me feel the emptiness and feelings that come up without trying to distract myself with something all the time. So yeah thats where I’m at today.

timeten0

Date posted: 17w

I am so sorry for you, hope you'll get better ASAP

Love yourself

Date posted: 17w

So sorry to hear that! That sounds awful. People have trouble keeping a balanced identity. Either their ego is through the roof, where nothing can bring them down because they think they’re better than everyone, or what you’re feeling, that you’re the absolute worst. The truth is that we’re all somewhere in the middle. We have our strengths and weaknesses. You’re not the worst, but you’ve made mistakes. You’re not the best, but you have so many beautiful attributes. It’s about Keeping that middle balance, and not using extremes like: “this ALWAYS happens to me”, or “ I NEVER get this”, which are destructive. You create a story in your mind that you convince yourself of that you don’t have worth, or that it’s dependent on external things. Ultimately, this balance is found by using 2 techniques. Unconditional self love, and emotional awareness. Love yourself no matter what. Sure you can be disappointed in yourself when you make mistakes, but never stop loving yourself. People get this so wrong. They think self love is an emotion- it’s not. It’s a way of life. It’s consistent self care even when you feel like garbage, because you care about yourself. That’s one. Emotional awareness is feeling your feelings, but not stringing them into a fear story you eventually start to believe in. “Emotions are real, but not reality.” You feeling bad is true- you feel bad. You BEING bad isn’t. Making that distinction is sooo important. Saying, “I know I have worth. Im having lots of trouble seeing that right now, but I know it’s true”. Tell yourself that. Don’t collapse into an identity of a broken person. Allow yourself to thrive and be happy. It’s okay to be okay again. You aren’t a problem to be solved, you’re a person to be seen. So be yourself, love yourself, feel your feelings, and change the world ❤️❤️❤️

julia204

Date posted: 17w

@Isaac2334 Thank you, super helpful!🫶🏻

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