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I feel like my life is shifting for the better possibly because I’m finally taking myself seriously. However, I simultaneously feel like im so far behind compared to my peers. It’s like i have to fail multiple times in order for me to understand the importance of my future. Everything I do needs to be perfect and if it’s not I am never satisfied - whether it’s school work, appearance, or even everyday tasks. Then I keep reflecting on old memories and it’s very difficult. An old ocd tic is coming back where whenever I get a “cringey” or “unwanted” thought about myself I have to say a phrase out loud to get rid of it. Lately lot of my compulsions are old and new ones. For example, I compulsed and confessed to everyone in my extended family about my ocd because I thought it’d make them understand me more but it doesn’t. I overshared and over explained far too much to them as I usually do to anyone I talk to. I’m constantly over apologizing. Ill be driving, hit a bump, and think I ran someone over or a family or a pregnant woman and I’ll be pulled over. I keep getting detailed imagery of me getting crushed in my car. If I kill a bug I’m convinced I will pay for it in some way or another and karma will get to me even if I feel bad. I delete and redownload the same 3 social media apps every day. I’m pretty sure I have an addiction to pornography and I want it to stop. No other girl deals with this. Someone on here said on one of my posts reguarding relationship ocd before that I might have bpd and now this is really weighing on me. I can’t stop googling abt it. I feel stupid because I could have it so much worse like other people on this planet do and yet here I am. I have the privilege to log onto this app and complain about my troubles while someone else is worried about if they’re going to eat tonight. I feel incredibly selfish and small when I express myself because people usually think I’m too much it seems. I don’t like people in my generation (gen z) because social media has triggered my lcd and it feeds this idea to people that other people are easily accessible or disposable at any given point - you give someone a follow/unfollow button and now they feel entitled to you. I want to be left alone and not perceived by anyone because no one will ever fully understand me. All I want is to be a peaceful person, an amazing psychiatrist, an educated and healthy woman, who people will take seriously. I just feel like my goals are impossible because I keep messing up and struggling with staying consistent. I sometimes wish I could be someone else so I could take this pressure off me. I’m sorry for how scattered this is, I’m probably just overtired and burnt out from life

How to stop it It's fueled my ocd to the extent that I am confused whether the thought came just because of ocd or it's me who is thinking it Purposefully I'm suffering from pure ocd magical thinking ocd Pls reply

Hello! Thank You For Reading this!!! I got alot of fears. OCD. There is 1 fear, that is the scariest fear for me, one that i'm having for the last 5 years, i'm searching for answers. It's all about fears, OCD and Electricity. It would help me so much to get my questions answered. I'm afraid of things and i dont know if its a real fear and threat or OCD. Let me explain. My biggest fear of all time is electricity and electricity shock. I'm afraid that if i do something without knowing it, it will cause something really bad. My questions are: 1. If i put a glass of water or a other drink next to a socket, can i still eat and drink that? Does food and drinks absorb electricity? 2. One of my OCD Compulsions are: Washing my hands, and sometimes even taking a shower after i did something with electricty. Think of, plugging something in a socket. Or putting my broken phone charger into my phone. Or anything else about that topic. May i ask, is this a real threat & if not, how can i conquer that biggest fear(s)? 3. If my face touches accidentally a broken phone charger or a socket or something Electricity, would that be dangerous? 4. Accidentally if i walk out the shower with wet hair, and if my hair touches a light, would that be extremely dangerous for my head and me? 5. Turning on and off and on and off the shower and lights to be safe. 6. Putting a headphone on after charging the headphone. With many fears and compulsions. 7. Putting on clothes/clothing that touched something electricity or a socket. A big Fear. You get the point. As you can read, i'm doing alot of compulsions, because that keeps me safe. I'm doing all of that because my biggest main fear. That is: If something happened, like in scenario 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or 7. Or something else. Anything you can think of. For a great example, eating or drinking something that accidentally touched the socket. If i would get a shock of the electricity, a small one or a big one, would that change my personality? Let me explain. I love music, movies, guitar, doing stuff i like, and so much more. But after that electricity shock, i change completely. For example, i dont like music anymore and i become very rude, a completely new person. Someone i would never want to be. Or getting thoughts and feelings and doing action, that is never would do? My question is: is that a real fear and threat and is that how it works? How does it work? Reality? Or is it the OCD and is the fear not real? Can someone explain Electricity for me? How do i know if something is a real Electricity threat and danger, and what not? What are the dangers? That would be AMAZING! I'm so thankful for nocd and all the people who are helping other people. Everyone. Thank You! Have an amazing day!

hiiii everyone I’m new to this app :) I’m not sure if anything in here is a trigger for others so I just put a trigger warning js in case 😭 Sooo I’m actually not medically diagnosed with ocd, but I’ve had a very very strong feeling that I do for a few years but I haven’t told anyone abt it, bc i feel like it will sound like I’m trying to fake a mental illness for attention or something. Also, I know it’s bad to self diagnose, but my symptoms just sound a lot like ocddddd ans I want to go into therapy and get diagnosed or something bc I’m pretty sure I have ocd and even if I dont, I know what im experiencing is not really normal 😭 Some of my symptoms: Having like very sexually or violent disturbing images or thoughts pop up in my head that won’t go away and I have to like (this is so hard to explain) block it out in my mind over and over Having to repeat things and count things over and over for example I ALWAYS like I mean ALWAYSSSS. have to repeat “thank you God for today please keep us all safe and healthy” in my head especially when I’m anxious. And I don’t have to repeat it just in my mind either I have to like mouth it outttt. It’s so annoyingggg 🥲 My “magic” numbers are 3 and 10 bc I have 3 sisters and 10 is just the perfect number like it’s so equal. So basically I have to do things three times and if I count over three by accident or even think of it I have to count up until 10 and if the same thing happens I have to keep going until I reach 30 NOT 20 bc that means that bc there’s a 2 in the number one of my sisters will die 🥲 And if I don’t do any of these stuff that my brain tells me to do, you know that feeling when you have a huge itch and it’s itching super bad but you can’t scratch it?? It feels exactly like thatttt and I think that if I don’t do it smth bad will happen even though I know it won’t but like just in case I guess?? 😭😭 When I decide to try to go against these stuff it makes me super super anxious and sometimes, I have random like “attacks” where just nothing is perfect or just right but I can’t fix any of it no matter how many times I count, repeat, or cross it out in my mind, I get so much anxiety and it’s the WORSTTT. I’m not asking for a random person to diagnose me instead of a professional, but I just need advice. Thank you guys 💗 (edited)

hi everyone!! so idk if anyone will see this, but i guess i have a lot of questions. i got diagnosed with OCD about 2 years ago or so but i’ve had it for as long as i can remember. my obsessions and compulsions root from my worst fears and what i’m most afraid of losing. when i was really young, it started with doing things or else the devil was going to come and get me, because that was my worst fear at that time. i have to count, i usually do things in pairs of 3. i HATE even numbers. only odd numbers. sometimes i spend a lot of time redoing something over and over and over again just until it feels “right.” i have super bad sensory issues. i cut the tags out of everything i own, my nails have to be short or else i will dig them into my skin until i bleed because it just doesn’t feel right. at school i used to be late to class because i would be at my locker turning the combination either 3, 7, 9, 11, or 13 times. it just depended on what felt right. before i would go to bed i would have to sit up and check the door 3 , 7, 9… etc. one time i had to check 27 times before i could go to sleep. i’m actually scared of getting things i want in life because my OCD will hold it against me. “you better do this or else you’ll lose this.” the more happy i am in life, the worse my OCD gets. it prays on my worst fears. if there is even something slightly wrong with my clothes: a tiny thread hanging lose, a bad memory attached, i will never wear it again. there’s one thing im sorta embarrassed to say but it’s one of my worst ones. basically: peeing. at night, i have to continuously go to the bathroom over and over again because i feel like my bladder isn’t completely empty. i will keep telling myself “it’s full, i have to go.” even when i just peed 5 minutes ago. and due to this, it causes a lot of wiping. i have wiped myself raw to the point i bleed a lot. it’s embarrassing, but i can’t stop. it never feels clean enough. my hair is never perfect enough. my clothes are ugly. i think i mostly struggle with perfectionism OCD. but is that it? i also feel like if i don’t do certain things, it will cause something bad to happen to my family or friends. like i have magical control over events. i don’t know. can someone help please?

I recently posted somewhere in response to manifesting that it does work, but doesn't work for people with ocd due to their mindset. I think they referenced the book The Secret. I'm currently reading it and can quite safely confirm it's 95% bs 🙄 only reason I'm reading it is because it makes me feel less delusional than the author. I've manifested before when I was symptom free, but not like they say in this book. It's dumb. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out there for those with magical thinking themes 😬

Hello everyone! This is my first post since downloading the NOCD app and wanted to share a little about my life with OCD. I was first diagnosed when I was 17 but truly started noticing there was something going on with me as early as 10. To summarize: I have the repetitive ritualistic type of OCD. Basically, I have a fear of becoming other people. I believe that if I perform an action, like turning off the sink or closing a door, or even breathing in and out while thinking about somebody, especially someone that I dislike, that eventually I will become just like that person or experience something they've been through that is negative; like health issues, personality issues, or social status decline. Simple example: I know this one dude named Richard, I worked with him in retail, and he told me about how his brother died at a young age. Now, it’s nighttime, and with that new information known about Richard, I believe, that If I take my contact out while thinking of Richard, or an image of him appears in my head while I’m taking out my contact, I believe that MY brother is going to eventually die too. What’s the solution?: I worked with another kid in retail. His name is Mikey, he was decently put together, and his brother didn’t die. So that means: Now with my contact still on my finger, I put it to my eyeball, and keep tapping at my eyeball with my contact while trying to get an image of Mikey perfectly timed, so that I can cancel out the image of Richard and save my brothers life. This is a challenge because the image of Richard, or I should say, the fear that my brother could die from this thought, is strong, and often times I have to think of other people (from other life experiences) along with Mikey just to feel confident that I got the image cancelled enough to move forward. Every day, I complete many actions and with every action comes a thought or image of some person I’ve encountered in my life that I’m either afraid of becoming or obtaining the same negative life experiences, which therefore means I also have all the othet people in my mind, at the ready, that cancel them out too. Every day I cancel people out and repeat actions disguised to the public. Sometimes it’s noticeable, but knowing how to cover your ugly side while making sure you don’t mess up your future with the wrong thought is just what I call life. I’m a man with a thousand people in his head and its been an EXHAUSTING journey. But through therapy and acceptance of myself, I have found a way to love with it. Like anything else, there are horrible days and okay days, but this is apart of me forever and im lucky to share it all with you! Can anyone relate?? Feel free to comment or reach out! - Matt

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....

Hello! I’m new here. Unfortunately I’m not able to afford a therapist but I’ve been doing a lot of research and I think a lot of my symptoms/thoughts align with OCD. I want to share some of what I experience and see if anyone else experiences the same and what resources helped you. I think I mostly experience contamination OCD. I’m constantly worried that something I do/touch is going to make me really sick and/or die. Especially with food, I’m constantly worried that I’ll accidentally have something on my hands when I eat, then I’ll touch the food and get that on the food, eat it and get sick. So I’ll wash my hands every time my hands touch any little tiny thing again and again before I eat, same with any forks/spoons, or I’ll even think I touched cleaner a few hours ago and I’ve washed my hands several times since then and I just washed them again but they still feel dirty so even if impractical I’ll use a fork and if my hands touch the part of the fork that touches the food then I can’t eat the food any longer or use that fork. Also at work I have these thoughts that I know are ridiculous but also give me very real anxiety. Like “if I don’t finish this order before that machine beeps its a sign I’m going to die” and then I have to rush to make sure I finish fast and then I’ll be like ok that’s so stressful I’m not going to think like that any more it’s ridiculous but then the thoughts keep coming back so I have to keep rushing. This is just a little tad bit of what I experience and I would love to hear from others as I haven’t met anyone else like me before. Thank you!

My OCD is telling me: Is there anything in this world that has no value or power? Then how can you say ocd thoughts have no power or value?.

I don't know if this is exactly a compulsion, but for a few months I had this mindset of "I have to be anxious so that nothing bad will happen." It was mostly when I went out in any way. Sometimes it was for other people too. For example if my mom went to the store/to get food without me. This was mostly during the time when I had been staying inside constantly for a little over a month. Idk if it was an exact cause but I had seen someone who FOLLOWED me last year, hence why I was staying inside. I guess I just want to know if this is common? I know that the whole "if I do this, then this won't happen" thing is common in ocd, but idk how common it is to somewhat force yourself to be anxious.

I have listen somewhere that a person will die after 3 days if he or she will take false swear oath of a particular place I have religious and blasphemous thought ocd and my mind manipulate me to take oath he fears me my mind manipulate me 24 by 7 to take the oath I resist it now my mind has develop strange thing I have death fear also whenever thought come I am going to die blasphemous thoughts comes and abusive thoughts comes againts God and holy spirits and a voice Lound in my mind to take oath of abusive words against them death fear mix with anger that they are not giving me life and all such things occurred I know it's not good but that time I cannot control on myself now after that my fear of die after 3 days develop my mind says to me you have take a false oath now I am weeping and shivering I have taken wrong oath i will die but I cannot control myself that time now I am unable to understand what is this. My brain force me to take oath with mix of anger hate against them I think I don't love them. It's so painful

I stopped being friends with somebody years ago and still get magical thinking OCD about them (it was over something, not losing contact because we grew up). We were friends for many years, since high school, althought at times even my relatives noticed I was mentally drained every time we met. Like the kind of person that you wish the best for them, but you don't connect anymore and they take all your energy. I see it as toxic, to be honest. How do I erase this person and all my memories of them out of my brain? I get so much anxiety about this

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well! I lost my dad yesterday and me having ocd since I was 7, it just skyrocketed. Yesterday it was difficult for sure, but I didn’t have any intrusive thoughts about self harm. It all happened suddenly when I was half asleep (trying to sleep even though it was really hard), were I feel as if a switch turned on in my brain and out of nowhere I started feeling angry. I recognised at that moment that I was not angry but that’s what my brain was telling me. And that’s when I had an intrusive thought of harming my mom came to my mind and immediately after that came the thought of harming myself. And it stuck. I know grief can make these themes pop up, but what if this is all real and not ocd? I’m scared. I acknowledge I don’t have thoughts in my head of planning to harm myself, it’s just a feeling that this is going to happen. Now letting my thoughts out brings me relief, even sometimes this intrusive thoughts bring me relief (that is very scary), but ocd makes me so pessimistic, and that I’m doomed in life and the sad life my dad had will also be mine as well. There are moments where I feel hope and relief, but it doesn’t last for long. As if I’m so so sure that this is going to happen. And me having magical thinking ocd doesn’t help either. Grief is hard, sometimes I cry, other times I laugh with my friends and family, but those moments I laugh is when I get terrified ( I read people who have made up the decision to (you know) are happy and laugh. Anyways, I’ve talked to my mom about it, she’s super supportive of me restarting therapy and even though she’s struggling with grief, she’s always there to listen to me and give me all the comfort I need. But I informed her about the thoughts the moment the popped up. Just so that she knows and can save me because I don’t trust myself at all. Sorry for this huge rumble, but I’d really appreciate your advice. I’m scared and so not ready to start therapy (at one hand I don’t want to, it feels such a chore, but I know I need to get help). I’m very pessimistic at the moment and I feel no one can convince me that I’ll get better. I think my future life, and it brings me this warm nice feeling and then it is followed by the thought that this will never happen. And because I have magical thinking ocd, and my uni exams have just started, I had this feeling that this exam season will be endless and it’s never going to end. Guess what, I’m probably going to just take one exam out of three (my mind is like you see, this thought and feeling came true) and that’s where I get super pessimistic. Okay, I’ll shut up for now, please give me some advice on how you try to manage your thoughts and what to do for now. Take care ❤️

I am extremely afraid to get pregnant because of these can anyone please help me. I have OCD, and it involves thought-action fusion. Because of my OCD, I struggle to logically understand how thoughts could turn into actions.What is meant by thoughts are thoughts only. I feel like my thoughts might turn into actions just because I think them in detail ( ex if i think something bad with detaily who meet accident then it will happen to my family also )Can thoughts really turn into actions if I think about them deeply? Can anyone please help me 🙏🙏😭

Believing in God is also a matter of faith. Believing that thoughts have power is also a kind of faith. But people say we should believe in God — then why shouldn’t I believe that thoughts have power too?

Im sorry I have to come on here and ask for advice once again, but as some people on here know I have been suffering with ocd since I was around the age of ten, which only got worse as my beautiful children came along. or nearly 60 years Ive had every type of ocd there is, they always come down to the same thing , not wanting to ever harm the people I love more than anything. I had got on top of this and was managing well, I know I would never harm anyone I love ever and would never ever want to, no more of the hypothetical scenarios for reassurance either , but its like every time I try to stop the mental compulsions intrusive thoughts come back after a few days, As I was in between going to sleep and was half awake the horrible words ' hope ***** dies I cannot even write the name down who it was about. I do not know where it came from but I am constantly getting upset about this as it was about someone I would give up my life for. I think you can probably guess what I mean without me having to say it. I do read a lot of posts and ocd podcasts and once read someones story wher they used to wish bad things and I have never been able to stop worrying in case something like that happened to me . Could this be what it was that has caused it ? I think Ive also still held onto something from when I was a child when I used to worry that thinking something too much could make it happen,, Please, please give me some addvice and thank you,,, sorry for the long post.

first post on here, and i almost feel ashamed that its come to this point.. but i really need help. i have a constant fear that everything is bad luck. my brain has decided that certain numbers or words will cause something bad to happen to my family or me, and i really dont want anything to happen. my brain tells me that all of my compulsions are signs from God, and that if i dont listen, He will be disappointed in me. and i become afraid that every small mistake i made results in bad things happening to me. even posting this is terrifying to me, but im running out of options at this point.. i dont want to feel like this anymore, i want to believe in God without these thoughts.

I don't know what this is, I don't know enough about OCD, my psychiatrist put me on a medication and told me I have OCD and a mood disorder but I didn't ask any questions because I didn't want to be annoying. I have "evidence" that every year, when I think about death, the world kills someone I love, and it always happens twice. I have nothing to help change that, like, I don't do anything with my thoughts or anything numbers or ritually, so I wasn't sure if it even was OCD, but I do move my hands in certain ways to make my friends happy or improve their lives. Also I cant turn off my fan or something SA related will happen (i dont know how) I think that the world is threatening me, and that if I do something wrong or involve myself with certain things, the world will punish me and the people around me, so all I can do is apologize I've tried looking into the different types of OCD, and all of them are things that I've been anxious about before, but I haven't really been so anxious about any one of them in particular or held onto it for so long, or done any rituals, that I would probably not even say I have OCD. Like, I worry that I'm a nazi, I worry that I like kids, I worry that I killed my friend, I worry that I have schizophrenia or am somehow giving myself it, I worry that I'm going to abuse someone, I worry that I've already abused someone, I worry that somehow I might die, I worry people can hear my thoughts, I worry about ignoring my friend when he cried out for help, I worry that God has already rejected me from heaven, I worry that I like women, I worry that if I don't hit the hammer 9 times on the wall when Im using it that just something bad will happen that I dont know what and I don't know why, and I feel like I don't have a single compulsion that can even "fix" or bring relief to any of these things besides saying sorry, because if I say sorry at least people know that I am apologetic for the crimes I've committed, but saying sorry doesn't fix anything except my own guilt so I'm just a bad person looking for sympathy or seeking attention I don't know enough about OCD, and I don't know how to seek help for my condition because I don't even know if that's really what I have, if I'm not just simply anxious, or possibly schizophrenic Does any of this seem familiar to anyone? Can it be this varied and unfocused? Does this really sound like OCD, or can it be anything else, because I don't want to bark up the wrong tree when I could just be taking medication for something else.

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.