Feeling a bit calmer

Yesterday was one of the worst ocd attacks of my life I have a huge fear of believing delusions like it's not even funny I've had crazy intrusive thoughts like What if clouds aren't real What if the people around me aren't real And now the crazy one, what if I believe people are lizards like the stupid conspiracy theory, and I don't believe any of them. Never did the one I'm currently on, is the stupid lizard 1, and I'm having thoughts when I went on with my family, like I would like to be around du,mb, and then I'll get some intrusive thoughts. What if I believe there are lizard aliens? And then I hate it so much. Obviously, I don't believe that, yeah, and I don't want to believe it. I just hate it so much. And something I say jokingly me back to the o.C.D is then I'm also a lizard too But has anyone else had a crazy** Thought like this or crazier because I really hope I'm not alone on this. I don't believe the thought, but I'm just like so many fears and anxieties. What if I believe it? What if it's honestly horrible? Where did I get from hocd to this? Like I mentioned before I had health OCd Did it all start with a fear of going crazy? Then a fear of getting cancer, then a fear of schizophrenia, and then a fear of delusions. I have a fear of going crazy. That it's not even a joke heck. I think I'm in the early stages of schizophrenia. I'm scared i'm honestly scared

maybeitsocd

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes! Oh my gosh I relate to this so much. Seeing this post is actually kind of helpful. I‘ve actually had the same thought, especially the lizard one and I’m always worried that I’m schizophrenic. I’m sorry that I can’t provide any comfort but I see you and it’s not just you. It’s very isolating and makes you feel like you are delusional and sharing it is also scary at the risk of sounding delusional to others. Thanks for opening up about this. I will say though, to actually be schizophrenic, you wouldn’t be able to really recognize those thoughts are delusional. You would be fully immersed in believing them as factual. For people experiencing schizophrenia, the delusions and hallucinations ARE reality. They cannot differentiate those thoughts, as you are, from what is and isn’t true. Your ability to call out the thoughts as possibly delusion is proof that you do not subscribe to them as reality, and are therefore, not delusional. I don’t want to prove a bunch of reassurance, just wanted to offer some insight as I’m somewhat knowledgeable about schizophrenia. People with schizophrenia generally do not know they are schizophrenic because, again, it’s their reality even if other people are not experiencing it. The likelihood of you being schizophrenic is lowkey considering you even think you could be. Nonetheless, it’s always good to talk to a mental health provider about these concerns. Consider though if you were told by them that you are not schizophrenic. Would that put it to rest or would you continue to ruminate? If you’d continue to thought spiral, it’s probably ocd. That’s my thought process at least.

Starve_The M...

Date posted: Yesterday

Wow thank you I thought i was the only one with these crazy thoughts like , I used to be afraid of schizophrenia and psychosis , because I had a fear that I had it , but then it just moved on to like going crazy like believing things that are not true , like delusions , I thought I was alone , but turns out i'm not so thank you and thank you for this really

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 18h

Hey so i had a thought like of the whole lizard thing again. And it was like it showed like an image of my brother like it's something out of a movie like him pulling like a face mask and shows him as lizard. Obviously, I can never believe that but I told him about it, but I even did the hand gesture but I got a thought like I've been doing it like I wanted him to do it. To prove that he's not that, but then I freaked out because that meant if I did that, that means I believe it, but I don't, and that freaks me out a lot, so I'm i'm kind of at a loss and I'm freaking out what does this mean, am I paranoid, but if I was paranoid, isn't that in schizophrenia? I'm just really scared right now Btw i still don't believe the thoughts and i was calm but these thoughts man 😔 I refuse to believe a delusion

maybeitsocd

Date posted: 15h

@Starve_The Monster2099 I understand. It’s just the cycle and it’s relentless. I’m so sorry. You don’t believe the thoughts. The best course is to simply let them pass. Like leaves on a stream. If it comes back, that’s okay but we continue to just let it pass. This is way easier said than done but it truly is a shrug at it situation like all other ocd things. If you have a therapist for ocd, i highly recommend discussing this with them. I get it though. Like all other things though, it will pass.

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 24w

fear of losing control??

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

cait1299

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w

Really struggling!

Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 7w

Afraid of delusions

I cant believe this like why am I asking this so I have health anxiety right and I was worried if I had scitzaphrenia and one of the symptoms were believing delusions obviously I don't believe any then the same day I went for a walk and looked at the clouds and got a thought what if clouds aren't real which was really ridiculous ik clouds are real lol heck you can see them even "feel" them obviously you can't touch em but I was afraid if I actually believed that they aren't real obviously they are why am I having this even after the schizophrenia fear left I still have the what If im crazy fear anyone eles have some advice to calm down I don't have to know how clouds work again to prove my ocd wrong lol im laughing a bit how irrational these thoughts are.

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Feeling a bit calmer

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