Magical thinking

Does anyone ever get the feeling that the universe is intentionally fucking with you? Like you’ll be really nervous for something, and you keep telling yourself it’ll be okay, it’ll be easy, but then some insane unforseeable roadblock just falls from the sky and completely messes everything up. And sometimes it’s just one thing after another, it’s almost comical. When it rains it really pours. And sometimes I get this delusional thought that the universe is crafting this on purpose because the chaos is just too ridiculous. I don’t believe that’s true, not really. I think things just happen randomly and as humans we feel the urge to assign meaning to everything. But with OCD I can really get myself convinced that it’s all a plot just to torture me specifically.

L∅U

Date posted: Yesterday

All the time.

Vallable992

Date posted: Yesterday

You’re not alone. Once upon a time a man named Murphy proposed a law saying that “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” You’re into mysticism. The universe is chaos and order United and separated from human concepts of such things. We impose our clean order on an asymmetrical system designed without us in mind, we just sprang from it through hardship. We don’t notice when things go right, because we expect it. When things go wrong, it’s a disruption. The existence of a pattern itself is a sign that things aren’t really out to get you. I assume you posted this without great difficulty? Things go right all the time. They just go wrong all the time too. Reality is not only strange, it’s vehemently uncooperative.

Vee92

Date posted: Yesterday

@Vallable992 That is brilliant. I never really considered how many things go right in a day without celebration. I’m treating reality like a bad boss: scolding it when it does something wrong and ignoring it when it does 100 things right. Whatever “right” and “wrong” even mean, those are just my standards but there’s a whole lot of people on this planet with their own definitions. Also our usernames are so similar!!

Vallable992

Date posted: Yesterday

@Vee92 Same birth year and similar names/surnames I think XD. I’m not saying that it shouldn’t irritate you. That’s really a natural response. We’re perfectionistic and we’re all on an OCD spectrum. There really is “always something” but there’s also always something else. One thing that helps me is to analyze my body. My computer is giving me a hard time, I’m running around in circles trying to get my health insurance sorted out, my car needs another damn oil change… But my heart’s working like a charm. As are my lungs, and my hands, and my legs, and even my brain (with some glitches). True collapse of the systems we made and/observed is almost impossible to contemplate short of complete and total death. And you seem to still be living lol.

Vee92

Date posted: Yesterday

@Vallable992 I like the way you think. I’m having a similar issue, it’s my stupid phone. It’s got all these issues and I have to take it to get repaired tonight, and leaving the house is anxiety-provoking for me. But in the time since your last comment, I noticed that I made a latte, ate a chocolate shaped like a skeleton, walked to my bedroom, put on a pair of socks, and started a podcast all without issue. I like noticing things that go smoothly because I fully just ignore them usually. And you’re right, my heart and lungs are doing just fine, I’m alive and that’s like, really cool.

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