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There's a guy Im starting to really like... I think I want to try asking him out eventually.. But I feel like I need to confess my Real events to him, especially because theyre taboo. I didnt hurt anyone but theyre still bad and most would say disgusting. It was years ago but I feel like if I dont tell him he cant consent to the relationship or im lying to him. I guess I deserve it.

hey all! long time no post. im going through a very hard time right now, because im switching medication from sertraline to fluoxetine and its taking a good time to get to a certain dose. the issue is, ocd has once again latched itself onto one of my main interests at the moment, and giving me intrusive FEELINGS about something i had been looking forward in it (more specifically, making me feel uncomfortable about that certain thing happening). i've been, like, bawling every day. clonazepam is not working at all in helping me calm down. my question is, should i take a break from the series/content regarding the specific thing OCD latched itself onto, or keep interacting with it despite/in spite of the intrusive feelings? it is a bit scary, feeling like i want to take a break from it. i dont want to think its me genuinely wanting to be away from it, i think thats OCD in itself talking. but. i need advice. thanks!

Hi! New here. 👋 This is my first post so I am nervous, but, literally everything makes me nervous so why not just nip this one in the bud. 🤣 I have severe health OCD and I’ve been in a panic flare for about a month now. Any bodily sensation/pain, numbness, tingling, lump, bruise, my brain catastrophes it as cancer, MS, ALS, stroke, tumors you name it. I was on Prozac for a long time and it helped so much that I thought the smart thing to do was to get off of it cause I was “better”(it wasn’t and I wasn’t). Now I have to get back on it and my brain is panicking about the side effects and anxiety I will have while my body gets adjusted. Anyone related to this? I’d love to speak with people who struggle along with me, I have no one in my personal life that has this. Thanks! Happy to be here!🩷

It is so hard to navigate the heart break of saying goodbye to someone for one side of them that's unhealthy, when the other side of them was so good. 💔 I am looking for advice on how to handle a back-and-forth internal fight in my heart and mind after making a major decision; for several days I can feel completely okay albeit a little sad about my choice, but then the next week I feel absolutely awful and think, "What the hell did I do?" I recently ended a very long-term relationship with my boyfriend. Over the last few years, I grew and focused on my well-being, while he remained stagnant. Though he could be affectionate, his behavior was often exhausting, performative, and controlling. He adopted (maybe unknown to him) a "toxic positivity/guru" type of persona—sometimes even policing whether or not my reactions were uplifting enough, or concise enough, etc—yet underneath the mask, I believe he is a genuinely vulnerable, lonely man who deserves compassion.I ended things firmly, sent a loving letter saying I can't be in a relationship right now, and requested no contact on phone after he was messaging me like it's any other day. Of course, it's not that I wanted to be so extreme, and I would love to get to a point where he and I can send letters or emails but I needed to draw a line. I felt secure in my choice (albeit still sad) until a massive wave of grief, sobbing, and guilt hit me yesterday. I am deeply worried about him being middle-aged and alone (he's kind of a lone wolf type of man), as I was his best friend and he doesn't have a lot of other friends in his immediate day to day life. I struggle with standard advice to "just cut off a toxic narcissist" because he wasn't just that, and I am genuinely mourning the vulnerable person beneath his complex persona. How do I navigate this intense guilt and worry for his well-being without breaking my boundaries? Any thoughts or shared experiences would be deeply appreciated.

Housing vs Room Renting The most persistent, harmful, class based myths in U.S. housing culture. Let’s break it down in a way that fits casework, social work, recovery planning, and SDOH frameworks. Why People Equate “Rooming” With Something Being Wrong With You This stigma comes from history, class bias, mental health stereotypes, and outdated housing norms, not from anything about the person choosing shared housing. Below is the real explanation, written in the tone of a CW/SW/Recovery Planning professional. 1. Historical Bias: Rooming Houses Were Once “Poor People Housing” In the early 1900s–1970s, rooming houses were: • Used by low income workers • Used by people with disabilities • Used by people exiting institutions • Used by people without family support Because of this, society built a classist association: “People who rent rooms must be struggling.” This stigma stuck — even though the economy of 2026 makes rooming a normal, rational choice. 2. Mental Health Stigma Got Attached to Rooming Houses When states closed psychiatric hospitals (1960s–1990s), many people with mental illness were discharged into: • Rooming houses • Boarding homes • Shared living • Adult care homes This created a false stereotype: “Rooming houses = mental health or behavioral issues.” In reality, most people in shared housing today are working adults, students, or people priced out of the rental market. 3. Boarding Houses Used to Be Poorly Regulated Some older boarding homes were: • Overcrowded • Unsafe • Run by slumlords • Used as last resort housing This created a public perception that “rooming = unsafe or unstable.” Modern shared housing (PadSplit, Bungalow, SpareRoom, etc.) is nothing like that, but the stigma lingers. 4. Classism: Americans Equate “Success” With Living Alone There is a deeply American cultural belief: “If you’re doing well, you live alone in your own apartment.” This is not global, and it’s not realistic in 2026. Shared housing is normal in: • Europe • Asia • Latin America • Australia • Canada But in the U.S., people still cling to the idea that “independence = solo living,” even though: • Rent is at historic highs • Wages have not kept up • Inflation is real • Housing supply is limited So when someone chooses shared housing, people assume: “They must be struggling.” When in reality, they’re being financially smart. 5. People Don’t Understand Functional Independence For SSI/SSDI/DDI individuals, the public often assumes: • “If you don’t live alone, you must need supervision.” • “If you rent a room, you must have limitations.” This is incorrect. Many people with disabilities: • Prefer community • Prefer not to live alone • Prefer affordability • Prefer safety • Prefer predictable costs • Prefer companionship Shared housing is independent living, not “supervised living.” 6. People Forget That Humans Are Social Creatures Some people choose shared housing because: • They don’t want to be isolated • They want community • They want safety • They want companionship • They want to avoid loneliness • They want to share responsibilities But society frames it as: “You can’t live alone.” Instead of: “You prefer not to live alone.” 7. The 2026 Economic Crisis Changed Housing; But Culture Hasn’t Caught Up In 2026: • Rent is up 30–60% in many regions • Utilities are expensive • Groceries are expensive • Wages are stagnant • Affordable housing is scarce • Developers build luxury units, not workforce housing Shared housing is now: • Normal • Practical • Financially wise • Emotionally healthier for many people But people still judge based on old norms. 8. Stigma = Projection, Not Reality When someone says: • “Why are you renting a room?” • “What’s wrong?” • “Is it a boarding house?” • “Is it for mental health people?” They are revealing: • Their class bias • Their outdated worldview • Their lack of understanding of modern housing • Their discomfort with economic reality It has nothing to do with the person renting the room. 9. The Social Work / Casework Reframe Here’s how we frame it professionally: Rooming = Independent living with shared resources. Boarding = Structured living with meals or services. Group Home = Staffed, regulated care environment. Shared Housing = Community based, cost effective, independent living. None of these imply: • Mental illness • Behavioral issues • Instability • Inability to live alone They simply reflect different housing models. 10. The Recovery Planning Reframe Shared housing can actually support recovery because it provides: • Community • Accountability • Reduced isolation • Predictable costs • Safety • Stability • Social connection Isolation is a risk factor for: • Depression • Relapse • Anxiety • Functional decline Shared housing can be a protective factor. Bottom Line People equate rooming with “something wrong” because of: • Outdated stereotypes • Classism • Mental health stigma • Historical misuse of boarding houses • Cultural pressure to live alone • Ignorance of 2026 economic reality But the truth is: Shared housing is normal, smart, safe, and often healthier — especially in today’s economy. It is NOT a sign of dysfunction. It is a sign of adaptation.

I analyze every feeling i feel and im so tired of it. Really. Im so envious about others who can experience feelings of love, crushes etc. There is this one men and i finally started to feel a bit normal, like myself, i thought that maybe im in love or maybe it’s a crush because i felt intense feelings. Anyway….it can be only a platonic love. But why am I so scared to call it platonic? Im scared that lesbians can love men in platonic way. That this sign is not enough to prove me that im straight. I have a lot of stuff on my heart. I mean why my ocd is stuck on these things about relationships, love, feelings, sexual orientation😞😞 i dont want to be with girls. But still it always makes me believe that im just a lesbian who is forcing themself to love men? Im tired. I feel like somehow im envious of those women who can normally fall for men. I have to analyze every feeling. Everything. And why one day i feel like a normal straight women and next day i feel like the biggest lesbian in denial? One day i have such a strong sexual imaginations with guys, even my body reacts to it….and next day i feel nothing. Like im not interested in men. Why is this…

It's been a couple of months since I ruined a relationship of mine. We were not official, but almost, and that thought keeps me in a loop, taking me back to a very specific moment where things got ruined. My mind keeps trying to fix it with a different scenario each time, as if I can travel to the past. I know that I can't, so it 's useless, but I can't stop it. He's got a girlfriend now, and we are on good terms, but my mind is stuck on our wasted potential. It's like I can't accept that his feelings changed or that things will never be the same. My mind used to look for his flaws because I thought he couldn't be my soulmate if he wasn't perfect in every aspect, leading me to think I wasn't in love with him. But now that I've learned about ROCD, I realize how much I loved him, but it 's too late now. I was scared, and I had intrusive thoughts about our future, like him cheating or us being together forever. I thought it was a nightmare, but I realized it was my dream. Those thoughts affected my way of showing affection because I was anticipating it ending or one of us getting hurt. I didn't give my all because I thought it was useless, or better so I didn’t hurt him. I thought I didn’t deserve him because of me not being fully accepting of him. I thought I would be a bad person if he fell in love. I regret it so badly, but the biggest reason why it ended was that we had a lot of issues with a friend in common who spread rumors about us to make us fight, and it worked, leading us to hurt each other's feelings. That's why I can't stop thinking about it; it was due to other people. My mind keeps repeating the same moment when one of our friends messaged my then-partner to tell him lies or show him proof about messed-up stuff. He never told me about this, just now that he ended things with me and admitted that was the reason things got hard. I keep repeating the moment in my head, like me asking him to block her when the fake rumors were just starting, or my parents talking to this girl's parents and asking her to stop. But these scenarios are endless. I'm walking a lot, creating them in my head. I caught myself speaking alone the dialogues of what I could've said. This is taking time from my career, and I can't focus while studying.

Fiberglass exposure anxiety at work - OCD or legitimate concern? Hi everyone. I work at a manufacturing facility that produces aerogel fiberglass insulation products containing fibrous glass (>50%). I work in office areas, not on the production floor, but I’ve noticed dust accumulating on my desk regularly and engineering staff have large air purifiers in their workspace. I’ve been experiencing dry nose, nosebleeds, chapped lips, and sneezing constantly. Not sure if that’s regular office HVAC air or fiberglass particles. I reviewed the official SDS for our product which confirms fibrous glass indeed causes mechanical irritation to mucous membranes. I have OCD and my therapist has been doing ERP with me on this fear - I’ve been working unmasked for several weeks as part of treatment. I brought air quality concerned to EHS & HR and they basically downplayed my request for air quality monitoring data, which has escalated my concern. I’m struggling to tell what’s legitimate occupational health concern versus OCD amplification. I’m very tempted to quit my job over this. I’m on a visa so quitting has catastrophic impact on my life but nothing is more important to me than my health. Has anyone navigated something similar - real workplace health concerns alongside OCD? How did you separate the two? Did ERP help? I’m very very scared and anxious and very close to quitting. I don’t want to quit but don’t see any other option.

A few days ago we got two birds from a expo and now i feel horrible abt it. My sibling was the one who really wanted a bird, i only expected them to get a small bird like a canary. But we ended up leaving with 2 conures and 2 finch's. I didnt expect my mom to get 2 finchs. I only thought we were getting one bird but now I feel so guilty for having in when my sister asked if we should get the 2 conures. I thought having a pet would give me something to do and help distract me from my intrusive thoughts. But now I feel my OCD has really latched onto them. Before these two birds, a month ago we got a conure from the pet store but he didn't wanna interact with us and it made me feel so much guilt that we took it back the next day because we sensed something was wrong. Turns out he was already sick before we got him so it wasn't our fault or anything. Im so scared this makes me an ab.ser to the current birds we have because we cant have a bigger cage in our home but always let them out most of the day and hang out with them. But they use to the cage for sleep and eating. I feel like a terrible person and reading threads on reddit about people's strong opinions in the bird community it intensifies my OCD. Im an idiot for thinking I could handle this. I feel like a terrible selfish person

Hello friends, I wanted to share with you that I am happily in remission and would say that I’m 95% improved from my LOW in 2023. In 2023, I decided to quit my meds (Cymbalta) cold turkey after ten years of taking them and remission. Previously, I hadn’t been officially diagnosed with OCD, but instead a generalized anxiety disorder. I had engaged in CBT and meds for a few years (2011-2013) before my condition improved and I was able to go on with my life, career, and not be controlled by my thoughts. Unfortunately, my psychiatrist never connected the dots and identified my OCD (health) despite the almost weekly ER visits, doctors, tests, procedures, ruminating, reassurance seeking, and researching. To my defense, no one ever told me that I’d have to take meds the rest of my life either. After ten years of feeling great, I felt I was good to stop. WRONG. I spiraled and my OCD discovered a new theme. A much scarier theme than thinking I was dying of some incurable illness. And of course, my theme was “real”… Felt absolutely real to me. I lost more than 25 lbs and became a shell of a man. For the second time, my wife and children had to watch me lose control. I hated myself for them… Somehow I was able to keep my job and my marriage. I found a new psychiatrist who pinpointed all the OCD tendencies and strongly encouraged me to connect to NOCD (and to take new meds - Luvox). I completed two years of NOCD therapy and it saved me. Thankfully, I have great insurance. The American healthcare system is horrible - to think some people can’t receive help because of the expense is insane. Don’t get me started… After two years, I felt I was 75% improved, but mornings were still difficult for me. I talked to my provider and we switched me back to Cymbalta. It’s what I needed, given my previous positive experience with it. I think the SNRI was better than the SSRI for me. While leaving NOCD, I found a local therapist to meet with monthly for some ICBT and to keep tabs on my condition. I’m back to taking a maintenance dose of Cymbalta (30mg) - which gives me very few side effects. I have put all the weight back on too. What’s my takeaway? Get professional help asap. There is no shame in it. And take meds or supplements. Should diabetics be afraid to take insulin to live? We shouldn’t be embarrassed if we need medication either. Clearly, I have a chemical imbalance as my mother does, too. I know I’ll need to be on them the rest of my life, too. The most difficult part was waiting the 12-16 weeks for the meds to start working. I needed benzos to help me get through that period of time. Once the meds kicked in, I’d say my worst improved from 0 to 40%. The rest came from therapy twice a week and HARD A$$ work!!! Don’t give into the 3 R’s! At my therapist’s encouragement, my wife would push the discomfort and give me plenty exposure and practice. I read every book on OCD and learned so much. But, I also used this platform and all of you! Some of you were the best and always there for me. Thank you!!!! Please don’t give up on yourself. OCD took me to some very dark dark dark places. Life is worth it. Work hard. Exercise daily. Multiple times a day. Force yourself. Get a dog or a cat to force you to think of something else (besides being along with your thoughts). Find some form of faith helps, too. And friends, remember, you are not your thoughts.

Just popping in, it’s been a really rough 2 weeks for me. OCD is raging. Context: one of my main compulsions is confessing & reassurance seeking. Bc of this combo, talking / opening up to others about my obsessions can be tricky, bc there’s a fine line till it turns into me seeking reassurance :/ I’m feeling very lonely lately, I’ve been reading many posts on here about everyone dealing with their things. Thought someone might relate to how I’m feeling… the loneliness, the wishing it would just stop. The Not wanting to be the “mentally ill friend” so I don’t tell people what I’m dealing with But then I have no one when it gets bad. Just a silent battle. As we know some weeks are better than others. Hope anyone that’s reading this is okay <3

I have been having a pretty bad bout of anxiety for the past few days dealing with something I have done in the past and still currently. Long story short I have gone to massage parlors that offer happy endings as an option. I always saw it as a way to relax and it never was a big deal. One time I felt super self conscious about it and talked to my family and friends and most who are extremely sex positive minded said it is perfect normal for someone of my age to partake in something like that and that they would be more surprised if I hadn't. This brought me a lot of comfort and gabe me alot of perspective on the issue. But what had me panic as of late is the fact that while I have gone to these places, I don't ever actually fully engage in intercourse. I did a maximum of 4 times out of the many I have gone to over the years, but that's when I was younger and the prospect of a pretty women offering it as an option was a no brainer and protection was always worn. What started to get at me recently has been like a question of my character and if doing this over the years has somehow sullied my chances of being in a relationship with a woman in the future. Kind of in the vein of what she would think if I were to tell her I've done that in the past and if she would even want to continue going out with me or even pursue a relationship. I started to panic in catastrophize as if doing that in the past or even recently has ruined my chances in the future in the way. I've told this to friends and family and they have let me know I'm thinking way too much about it and overreacting to the point of having a panic attack. Other things I've seen where I looked up things on the internet around it when I shouldn't have made me even more afraid. I started asking a bunch of what ifs that I never asked before. Did going to these places give me a subconscious complex where I view women as objects and view intimacy as transactions? Would this affect how I treat a person in a relationship. I know the answers to these questions would be no because I never viewed any women that I dealt with at those places like that at all it was purely just a fun experience that was mutual at the end of the day. But I keep playing our scenario in my head where I get with someone and we date for a while and I reveal that to them and everything falls apart. I have negative thought to my head saying oh you don't deserve to have a relationship after doing this for that long. Which I know deep down isn't true. I have viewed positive posts online where I've seen opinions of women who wouldn't mind someone that's done that in the past and use it as a regular thing that's done more often than people think. And that there's nothing to be ashamed of. And this should give me definite comfort and hope but they're still nagging negative thoughts in my head that are causing me a definite pit of anxiety in my stomach lately. I'll get tunnel vision when I'm driving I'll give a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach I'll get facial tics. The whole nine yards has been happening the last two days. All or nothing thinking like oh have I wasted opportunities in the past by going to these places and all sorts of things I've started weighing on my mind. Making this post has made me feel a bit better because it allows me to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper so to speak. But it's definitely been exhausting and it's had me distracted from other things that I've been excited about coming up with family visiting soon and I rather not have that dwelling on my mind when I'm supposed to be enjoying my loved ones. I've even told my therapist about all of this that I used to go to before I moved and she still communicates with me and she sees nothing wrong with what I've done and that the only thing she said is to just be safe and respectful and to have fun. As well as my doctor. There is a post at the end that definitely gave me a lot of Hope into this matter because I know a lot of people nowadays are way more sex positive-minded than I would think about the issues and I probably am not going to run into whatever catastrophic scenario I'm thinking in my head.

I have been having a pretty bad bout of anxiety for the past few days dealing with something I have done in the past and still currently. Long story short I have gone to massage parlors that offer happy endings as an option. I always saw it as a way to relax and it never was a big deal. One time I felt super self conscious about it and talked to my family and friends and most who are extremely sex positive minded said it is perfect normal for someone of my age to partake in something like that and that they would be more surprised if I hadn't. This brought me a lot of comfort and gabe me alot of perspective on the issue. But what had me panic as of late is the fact that while I have gone to these places, I don't ever actually fully engage in intercourse. I did a maximum of 4 times out of the many I have gone to over the years, but that's when I was younger and the prospect of a pretty women offering it as an option was a no brainer and protection was always worn. What started to get at me recently has been like a question of my character and if doing this over the years has somehow sullied my chances of being in a relationship with a woman in the future. Kind of in the vein of what she would think if I were to tell her I've done that in the past and if she would even want to continue going out with me or even pursue a relationship. I started to panic in catastrophize as if doing that in the past or even recently has ruined my chances in the future in the way. I've told this to friends and family and they have let me know I'm thinking way too much about it and overreacting to the point of having a panic attack. Other things I've seen where I looked up things on the internet around it when I shouldn't have made me even more afraid. I started asking a bunch of what ifs that I never asked before. Did going to these places give me a subconscious complex where I view women as objects and view intimacy as transactions? Would this affect how I treat a person in a relationship. I know the answers to these questions would be no because I never viewed any women that I dealt with at those places like that at all it was purely just a fun experience that was mutual at the end of the day. But I keep playing our scenario in my head where I get with someone and we date for a while and I reveal that to them and everything falls apart. I have negative thought to my head saying oh you don't deserve to have a relationship after doing this for that long. Which I know deep down isn't true. I have viewed positive posts online where I've seen opinions of women who wouldn't mind someone that's done that in the past and use it as a regular thing that's done more often than people think. And that there's nothing to be ashamed of. And this should give me definite comfort and hope but they're still nagging negative thoughts in my head that are causing me a definite pit of anxiety in my stomach lately. I'll get tunnel vision when I'm driving I'll give a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach I'll get facial tics. The whole nine yards has been happening the last two days. All or nothing thinking like oh have I wasted opportunities in the past by going to these places and all sorts of things I've started weighing on my mind. Making this post has made me feel a bit better because it allows me to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper so to speak. But it's definitely been exhausting and it's had me distracted from other things that I've been excited about coming up with family visiting soon and I rather not have that dwelling on my mind when I'm supposed to be enjoying my loved ones. I've even told my therapist about all of this that I used to go to before I moved and she still communicates with me and she sees nothing wrong with what I've done and that the only thing she said is to just be safe and respectful and to have fun. As well as my doctor. There is a post at the end that definitely gave me a lot of Hope into this matter because I know a lot of people nowadays are way more sex positive-minded than I would think about the issues and I probably am not going to run into whatever catastrophic scenario I'm thinking in my head.

A year ago I went to a portable potty downtown and I used the toilet paper 🧻 in there. A couple months later or days later can’t remember. My friend was like “I would never use a portable potty or the toilet paper in there. Have you heard about the drug addicts cleaning their needles by poking it in the toilet paper and now a year later it came up again because I masturbated the day before and went to work the next day and as I was using the restroom it hit me what if when I got up and put my pants back on some flung on to the toilet paper next to me. Now I’m thinking great everyone who used the paper is now infected with an std or something bc I MIGHT have std from the day I went to the porta potty a year ago. I feel so alone and lost and anxious and scared. I feel like I’m the only one with this specific scenario. Can I even get infected like that?

Does anyone have a list or examples of “feared outcomes” for just right or perfectionism type obsessions?

ERP is the key to overcoming OCD. Feel free to ask questions!

All I can think about is death. I’m only 26 and everyday feels like I won’t live a long time and that my time is up. I wake up with death instantly on my mind. All I do is cry and sleep. I miss who I was. I can’t enjoy anything without thinking “this will be gone one day” I miss loving life

Considering not posting because looking at my feed and it looks like a lot of people are struggling right now. My mind is telling me that I caused this because when I first got onto the app a month or two ago my feed was a lot of wins and overcoming, then I posted about struggle a few times and now it’s all struggle. And sure, maybe I did do that. And maybe I didn’t. regardless, what I’m ACTUALLY coming here for is a question and maybe seeking a little support/knowledge (if anyone has it in them—maybe it’s the holidays too? I know they can be so hard for many.) Sometimes, not very often, but sometimes I have these thoughts that absolutely fill me with horror and dread. It’s usually about something that is a big fear of mine, and I’ll have a thought or cluster of thoughts and then something in me will shift from “what if” to “this is definitely real and imminent.” I think I know the answer, but is that OCD? Because often times the what ifs can be easy to ignore, because I don’t know, but then my mind comes up with all of this “evidence” followed by a gut or bodily sensation, and that combo tells me the I’m basically (correctly) predicting the future. What happened tonight was a new level of worrying about my brother and his family. I worry about my brother having ptsd and the ‘what if’ he doesn’t treat it or what if it gets worse and we “lose him” (psychologically) and then how that will affect me and his family and our family and then I decide I need to go into a career in therapy so I can handle it or prevent it even, and since I’m directionless and careerless now anyway and interested in that as a career and he does genuinely have PTSD, why not do this? So I guess…why not do this? Is it wrong to make a decision like this? Is this ocd, and if it is, what’s the nuance where ocd and real logic and common sense overlap? I realize this is something I should bring to my therapist, and I will, but this community has been really helpful in just providing comfort and support through shared experience. And now…I just realized this is post is probably a compulsion, what I’m doing right now. The dread and horror felt so bad that I came here because it absolutely does make me feel better and sitting with it felt unbearable. And now posting feels wrong, because I do feel better lol But I still want the advice and, now, maybe an objective view on if it seems like I’m currently posting an ocd cycle in real time. This is hard.

Do you have personal experience with OCD medication, and do you would recommend one over another? Up until 2.5 years ago, I thought I had general anxiety with OCD thrown in. Then I determined that it's actually OCPD and OCD calling the shots, and they cause me general anxiety. I've been taking Citalopram for GAD the past 11 years, and I don't think it's as effective anymore. I would also like to try something that's prescribed for OCD. I've done my research and have come across a couple I want to talk to my doctor about, but it's always good to hear others' experiences too.

All sorts of things bother me. I can’t even name them. I feel so alone, and I don’t really have many hocd thoughts. But I keep thinking about what’s wrong with me. I really wouldn’t want to be asexual or aromantic — I feel like there is a desire inside me to be close to someone, more intimately, safely. Of course I often think about sex too. I’m 21, and it honestly hurts that even people younger than me experience love, relationships, closeness. And I feel like I can’t, like I’ll never fall in love. And at the same time I hope I’m not a lesbian :( I hope I’m not just forcing myself to be straight, like what if I’m only imagining that I’m straight. I feel like I can’t talk about the topic of men with anyone — I feel anxiety and start getting uncomfortable because I feel like I’m lying to myself, that I’m not straight. And I’m scared that this is a sign that I’m not into men. Because if I were straight, I probably wouldn’t have these feelings, right? But then I imagine a man’s hands caressing me, hugging me… and I actually tend to imagine intimate things with a man. But in real life I don’t like anyone. And if someone would told me to try to find someone, to download a dating app for example, to reach out to someone — suddenly I feel like I don’t want to, like I want to run away, and I start feeling sick. But at the same time I have no desire to date women either, I’ve never wanted a relationship with a woman. I’d rather not even think about it. I keep testing it in my head. Whenever love or relationships are mentioned, I feel like running away. But why do I feel some kind of longing inside, or want to not be left out of that feeling? To also have the chance to love, to experience a relationship, maybe even s*x if I felt trust and closeness. But I really don’t understand any of this anymore. Maybe I’m just too emotional today and it hurts me inside. I really wouldn’t want to find out that I’m a lesbian. Because I’m not even interested in looking for women. I never have been. I never had a reason to. I only admired women and wanted to be like them and yea i like my friends but that’s it. It troubles me. I guess I don’t know what love is. At the same time, why did I have that thought recently about that one man, a long time ago — just the image of him giving me a kiss on my forehead, and then later the idea that he gave me flowers, and it made me cry. I felt it in my chest. And even when I remembered it later during the day, I didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt good. Like it warmed my heart a little. But I’m scared that it’s fake. And what if men actually disgust me. 💔