You cannot give yourself a mental illness. OCD might have already been there, like a tiny spark just waiting. Eventually it lights for a lot of us.
It is honestly really subtle because so many of us feel like we were completely normal until boom, something flipped a switch and suddenly we are drowning in OCD. But then we start looking back and realizing that stuff from our childhood or even just a few years ago makes way too much sense now. Like oh⦠yeah, that was definitely OCD.
For me, since getting diagnosed about six months ago, I have realized that most of my personality has literally just been OCD this whole time. I thought that was just who I was, but now I do not even fully know where I end and where OCD begins. It is super weird.
And something kind of ironic is that you can actually have OCD about having OCD. It is called meta OCD. Half the time, people spiral after getting diagnosed because they become obsessed with the diagnosis itself. Like they question if they really have it, or they obsess over their compulsions or possible new obsessions. And sometimes, people get stuck before getting diagnosed, obsessing over whether or not they have OCD. Basically, OCD can make you obsess about literally anything. Nothing is off-limits.
Yes, intrusive thoughts can feel like you created them, but they can also just pop in out of nowhere. Either way, they are unwanted, they are distressing, and they are really scary. But intrusive thoughts are actually normal. Everyone has them. What makes it OCD is how you respond to them. The compulsions, the fear, the need to neutralize or figure them out.
And it really can spiral fast. For me, it was October 11. I am pretty sure it was a Friday around 10 PM and it just hit me out of nowhere. Like a dam I did not know existed completely broke. And it has been flooding ever since. My boyfriend was shocked because I basically became a completely different person in an hour and that version of me has not gone away for months. So yes, stuff like this can absolutely unravel in days, weeks, months, or even years.
I am so sorry your mom is being ignorant. Even if you do not have OCD, you still deserve to be evaluated and listened to. Your experience is valid no matter what.