i was in target and saw this kid who looked like my nephew and i didn’t a double take because i thought it was him i was gonna go say hi to him. it wasn’t him, but then my OCD intrusive thoughts popped in and made me want to throw up and run away and hide. it popped in my brain and i was immediately disgusted with myself. i wouldn’t ever do anything to harm a child. WHY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS I JUST NEED A BREAK.
Hey there, remember to be gentle with yourself. OCD loves to attack your values, and your self worth. The hard part is, no one knows yet why OCD happens. But the good news is, you can treat it. You can learn to work through these thoughts until they don’t affect you. It may sound insane, but you can get to the point where you laugh at your thoughts, or disregard them. Please give yourself compassion. You are working through very stressful and difficult thoughts. I don’t have POCD as one of my themes, but I’ve had taboo thoughts about a family member. Therapy helped me through. You have a whole community of people who can relate. You aren’t alone.
@MichelleV thank you so much. i start therapy this week - i am ready to start getting back to living my life !💗
@olivia_123 I’m so excited for you!
I'm so sorry. That sounds really upsetting. Our brains are like that because we have OCD, and it always latches onto things that will alarm us and get a rise out of us. OCD thoughts and fears go against our values. You'd never hurt a child, that's why it's so scary and disgusting to even think about! OCD is just a jerk sometimes.
Interesting that OCD takes something so innocent and turns it on its side. If it was my nephew, I am saying hi. If it is not, then I must want to do horrible things to this stranger. A fascinating turn of events all created by OCD. So, how true is OCD in this instance? Or, is it just really creative and so much so that it can frighten the heck out of you and make you wonder if you really wanted that thought? I would bet on that one, though OCD would like me to not give its secrets away. Good news that help is available for this - hit that therapy button on the NOCD app and let someone expertly trained work with you to be sure that you live your life and not the life that OCD wants you to live.
I was having a really good day at work and then all of a sudden, I realize that my harm OCD wasn’t there and then that reminded my brain to think about all these horrible things. I’ve been having really bad intrusive thoughts about wanting to hurt people or the fear of doing these things and I caught myself ruminating on things like oh well did this movie make me feel uncomfortable so I can reassure myself that I don’t wanna do these things and it’s just that fear like that I’m gonna wanna do it and it’s not even people that I’m close to. It’s literally anyone it could be like a random stranger thing about these things cause I know that’s a compulsion. So I thought I would put a message out to see if anyone could relate or has any advice.
Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
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