How to handle ERP regarding POCD

I will soon give therapy another go and I know ERP will be hell when it comes to my Magical Thinking OCD, but I can't imagine EVER going full on ERP, when it comes to POCD. How am I supposed to hug the daughter of a friend - it's common in the friend group to hug each other and as everyone also hugs the girl, when she's out and about with us, it would be weird for me to not also hug her -, when I have a groinal response, or I feel a weird urge? I do hug her quickly and keep a lot of space between us combined with doing compulsions while hugging her to keep myself from totally losing it and freaking out, but knowing how ERP works, I am sure my therapist will ask me to hug her normally, but I can't. It's just not right AND I know I will spiral after hugging her normally. Also, I haven't told my therapist about me suffering from POCD, I said that I suffer from Harm OCD that focuses on children. I lied, because I unfortunately had encountered therapist and psychiatrists who know very little about OCD, which caused them to make comments about my POCD intrusions that sent me spiraling. Moreover, that therapist only offers group therapy - I tried to find a therapist for years, but I wasn't even put on a waiting list, as their lists had already been full, so I don't have much of a choice - and I honestly am not willing to talk about POCD in general and my POCD intrusions in particular with people who might have no idea about OCD apart from the theme(s) they suffer from. Also, I live in a small village and the possibility to bump into someone from my therapy group in a supermarket would be really likely and me knowing that they know about all of my OCD themes would freak me out. Does anyone who suffers from POCD in combination with False Memory and Real Event OCD have positive experience with in vivo ERP?

Daniel Torres

Date posted: 19d

Hi. Congrats for giving therapy another opportunity, well you know that ERP is a specific therapy for OCD, and every theme in OCD is really hard and stressful for the person who suffers it. Even tho we tend to think that ours are more difficult to manage. As I understood in your comment you do local therapy in your town and groups support, maybe you should try a personalized therapy and then when you are more comfortable with ERP you could try a therapy group. Best of luck.

PennyRoyal

Date posted: 4d

@Daniel Torres Thanks for your reply. I do suffer from various themes and I had great success with ERP, when it comes to MT, Harm and other other OCD themes, but POCD is just a very sensitive issue and topic where in vivo ERP is a no go for me. Regarding the therapy I'm about to start. There is no option for me to start therapy one on one. As I said, I have been trying to find a therapist for years and the group therapy is the only available option. The therapist who offers the group therapy doesn't offer one on one sessions, unfortunately. And I didn't even make it on to a waiting list of another therapist.

Daniel Torres

Date posted: Yesterday

Ok I understand and I agree that POCD is really sensitive that brings a lot of shame, blame and for sure more frustration. Is there any way to talk to your therapist and get a group with related themes? Probably that will me you more comfortable.

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