Therapy issue

I don’t know if me being angry with my therapist is just a part of a healing process, part of being frustrated with erp exercises, or that my therapist is doing something wrong. Sometimes I leave the session feeling worse that before. She recommended me to write down my intrusive thoughts so that we could analyze them. At first I was afraid to do it because of the magical thinking, I was afraid that writing it down will somehow make it more real (still kinda do sometimes). But I did it and it felt good, we made an improvement. But I noticed that I started doing it as a compulsion? That I NEED to write down the thought or it won’t go away. And now I don’t do it as often. I often do not do the „homework”. And she insinuates that I don’t wanna get better. That I wanna stay the way I am. That i’m not doing enough work. But sometimes the work is overwhelming. I am in therapy with her since November 2024. When I’m worse in my symptoms she looks for a reason elsewhere, in my mom (complicated relationship), or else. I feel like she thinks that I do the excessive thinking on purpose. Also, I went to my psychiatrist this week and got my dosage of escitalopram up from 10 mg to 20 mg. I also take bupropion 150 mg. She was in shock because she „didn’t see the need for going up in me”. She was asking what did I say to him to make him do that. She also said that „psychiatrist appointment is so fast like 10 minutes that he didn’t see the manipulation and prescribed it”. That hurt me the most but I didn’t say anything because what if she is right. She also said that it will be bad for our therapeutic process because my thoughts will be quieter and there will be less to write down and analyze. I keep saying that I for example I’m worse with my thoughts and she says that it’s kinda connected with me not doing some therapeutic work like writing it down, engaging in ways to reduce rumination (example: drawing, sport) and suggests that I’m kinda choosing this. I need an honest opinion.

yc98

Date posted: 18h

I think you should find a different therapist, each therapist has their own approach to therapy. And each person has their own needs. It look so like what you need doesn't match what this therapist can provide. It can be hard to make that switch especially with OCD (fear of hurting their feelings, fear for starting over etc). However it does feel like your therapists approach is to blame you and find the root of your OCD. The first part is unacceptable in my opinion because as we know it's literally out of our control. The second part is important but not a priority. I'm at a point with my therapist where we can analyze all of my intrusive thoughts and pin point what about my trauma and upbringing has caused these fears (I can elaborate more if you wish). I also think it's wild that she said medication would be bad for therapy bc your thoughts are quieter but if you need it to function in your day to day life, then I think that is more important. There are many ways to expose yourself instead of writing it down, especially since you stated it has become a compulsion. Is she certified in ERP bc she's lacking in compassion.

benjih

Date posted: 18h

Hey! Ive been in therapy for many years and its definitely harder when youre working through OCD behaviors. I would say you should do 1 of 2 things (or both). 1. Definitely tell your therapist how they are making you feel with their words as well as letting them know that you feel that your OCD is latching on to the homework and actually making you feel worse and that you are looking for other ways/other coping skills to deal with it and see if they can help you that way. Clear communication is always best. The second option I would give is to look for other therapists- however therapy goes you should feel like youre getting better not worse, bot every therapist is for every person so I would definitely encourage you to look for someone that you feel will be more helpful in the long run!

Just-Me2025

Date posted: 16h

Being comfortable and safe with your therapist is so important for your recovery….If you aren’t then change. I changed my therapist pretty early on and was terrified, but immediate relief came over me as soon as I met my new one. That was 100% start of me getting better!!!

LetaB

Date posted: 13h

You also can change your therapist right on the app so it makes any awkward confrontations cease to exist…you just click the button “change therapist”, i think it’s wonderful considering i would hate to hurt their feelings. I do think you need to find a better fit. I don’t think you’re getting treated very well. Just imo

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