Intrusive thoughts vs my actual feelings

I’ve been really struggling lately with identifying whether I feel a certain way about a situation or people around me or if I’m having intrusive thoughts. Lately, I’ve noticed talking it out with a friend is my first line of defense, sometimes just verbalizing those thoughts can help me hear what I’m saying, and actually start to process how I feel. I do get caught up in making the right decision after that, and it weighs on me heavily, and this is when I struggle to take action or become distant with others that’re in said situation. I try to do more grounding techniques and things that make me happy, I tend to try to focus on something like work or household chores and then relax with a good Gordon Ramsey show hehehe, but I still sit with that confusion of whether this is how I feel? What if it’s just an intrusive thought? What if I’m making the wrong decision or what if I don’t have grounds to feel the way I think I am feeling. This is when talking it out helps for me, but I still always have that inkling that I’m making the wrong decision regardless of what I choose. Does anyone have any coping skills suggestions to aid in this sort of struggle? I feel like it can be quite common to be stuck in those mental gymnastics with your ocd and I’m really curious what you guys do to help process these feelings yourself. I tend to spend time with my pets, watch a show, call a friend, but I’m curious if maybe there’s a recommendation that would work for me that I haven’t tried : ) thank you all for listening!! This is my first community post hehehe

Phobalys

Date posted: 3d

Omg this is so real. I’ve had so many of these thoughts regarding my relationship. “Am I doing the right thing by staying with this person?” “What if there’s someone better for me” and these thoughts flooded my brain and I couldn’t tell which one was me. I’m still working through this, but so far what has helped me is writing out my thoughts and seeing if there was a pattern or something irrational in any of them. Furthermore, I’ve talked to my mom about this and she was able to help me sort my thoughts if you have anyone in your life that understands and can help. Best of luck to you

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

@alyssphovic Thank you!!! I should definitely try getting it on paper I haven’t done that in ages, and that’s great to hear you have that support! I tend to lean on my best friend or my brother cause they really understand where I’m coming from with it. Thank you for your reply :,) and same to you : )

Phobalys

Date posted: 3d

@alyssphovic To go into the writing part more it helps me because my brain tends to change how I remember things. If I write all of my thoughts I can always go back and see if something was consistent or rooted in anything else and try to understand it more. Maybe it’ll work for you! Also, if you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts my therapist has told me to “one up them.” This is just an example, but let’s say you have a thought like, “what if I said something mean in that conversation and don’t remember?” Then, take that thought and one up it. “Yeah, what if I did and I was super mean and said their shoes were ugly!” This kind of helps me by pointing out how ridiculous some intrusive thoughts can be. Again, best of luck to you :3

Phobalys

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous Ofc!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

@alyssphovic These are such good ideas!! Dude honestly thank you for this 😭💕 I’m gonna need to try to one up them my mom used to tell me to do that as a kid and it used to help when I would have a hard time with basic what if thoughts, now that I’m diagnosed it probably would still help, I think she got that from her therapy at the time too haha. I’m definitely gonna start writing it out again I really like your idea of going back to analyze and process everything, I think that might be incredibly helpful for me. I tend to get that in conversation but sometimes it takes me a while to get there verbally, maybe writing will help me process it better.

Phobalys

Date posted: 3d

@Anonymous Of course! I’m glad I was able to help even if a little. I hope it works and good luck!! You got this :)

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

Roseptlss

Date posted: 20w

Persistent Intrusive thoughts about past actions

Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰

L0ng16aelak

Date posted: 10w

Unsure if I even have OCD

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

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Intrusive thoughts vs my actual feelings

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