Fear of failure

I keep putting myself out there and trying things that are important to me like making would you rather youtube videos and videos about OCD but I keep failing. It’s like no one cares. I have felt like this my whole life. It’s so hard to keep trying but my non OCD brain is extremely optimistic so I keep going. I feel like it’s better to try and fail than never have tried but I also feel like maybe I’m wasting my time. Thoughts? But no reassurance. Thanks loves

Iceberg Climber

Date posted: 7d

Hello! I think you need to examine your motives. Why are you doing these things? To get famous? To be popular? There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting those things, but they are almost always a terrible goal. Instead, they should be a byproduct. If you want to make a video, make the video. And then make another. And another. Do it because you like it. And you want to get better. So get better. Don't worry about the views. In fact, you should get to a point where the need to create is so bad that you'd do it if no one watches the videos. That's how you know you are expressing yourself and not just making content to be famous (If you are doing it just to be famous and make money, I have different advice. There isn't anything immoral about that. But I suspect you aren't.) Then, if you are consistent and you improve, you'll get views. It may take a long, long time. But who cares? You need to do it for yourself. And that way, every view, every comment, every day you spend expressing yourself is a victory of great magnitude.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 7d

Thank you so much for your response! No, I just was hoping to make a difference with the OCD videos. OCD has brought me to the darkest place I’ve ever been and I don’t know anyone else with it and it’s isolating. I don’t want other people to feel like that. For my other videos I do them for fun mostly I think it would be awesome if I made a little money but I don’t care if I don’t. I guess just the idea that I wanted to help people and then no one watches makes me wonder if people just don’t like me or that I am not helpful.

Iceberg Climber

Date posted: 7d

That makes perfect sense. I think that is a great pursuit. However, I would caution you against making your pursuit goal-oriented rather than process-oriented. What I mean is that your goal should not be "to make a difference" but rather to "make videos which are worthy of making a difference." Then, with consistently, you'll get there. If you wrap your idea of success up in fame, you'll likely be disappointed. Focus on the process. Also, I in no way mean to be rude, but let's practice some ERP. Maybe you aren't helpful? Maybe people don't like you when they watch your videos? That's fine. Don't worry about that. Even if you were super-popular, you'd have haters. Make something you are proud of and don't let others have that power over you. Hopefully that way of thinking about it helps.

Lucy Van Pelt

Date posted: 7d

@Iceberg Climber This is amazing advice! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to help me! It truly means the world to me!! Also the ERP is a great idea sometimes if it’s not one of my main themes I don’t even notice it’s an OCD issue. You’re the best!

flyana

Date posted: 18w

A nice DM sent me spiraling

I used to post my art online a lot, and I was so proud of it. But the last year or so, my OCD has been making me feel like I don't deserve to post because "no one would support me if they knew how flawed of a person I am." Today, I got a message from a stranger saying they missed seeing my art and wished I would start posting again. It was soo damn nice, and I wanted to be happy about it, but my fears immediately hit me hard. Would this person still want to follow or support me if they knew everything about me? Of course, my therapist pointed out that there are sooo many people out there who post constantly and have no problem asking their supporters to help them, and surely they're also flawed people, but they don't let it hold them back. I know I'm only human... but I've seen so many people gain success, only to get knocked down, and it terrifies me. This is probably my biggest internal struggle. Sometimes, I want to give up art completely, but the little kid in me who dreamed of being an artist is saying, "Why are you giving up on us?" I feel kinda weird posting about this, but I hope you guys get where I'm coming from. If anyone has any insights or thoughts on this topic, I'd reeeeally appreciate them.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 17w

Doubts 21+

My biggest issue with things in my life are not feeling confident in things I want to do and feeling doubtful combined with anxiety. It makes me not want to do a whole lot of things outside of my comfort zone because I either feel I'm not ready for them or I don't deserve them. In the back of my mind, my brain tells me that I've done something in relation to POCD because of porn when I was a teenager and a time I tried to help a minor with OCD. Or that I've committed sexual harassment because of a time I tried to zip up a bag but didn't tuck my arm and it touched someone's behind when really I just didn't want to keep listening to my OCD about how much of a bad person I would be or bad things would happen if I didn't tuck my arm. I thought I would just very slightly brush up contact and it wouldn't matter that much but it just ended up happening in the worst way. I remember how extremely depressed this made me and I just feel like I don't deserve to go on because of these kind of thoughts, memories, and worries. These worries are what keeps me down from really living my life. Another part of this is I feel I need to just have my needs met before I can really carry on in life I also know that I can't keep waiting for things to feel right when I need to do them. Is this a sign of Just Right OCD? Needing my feelings to feel just right in order for me to do someone I really want to? I act on my feelings more than I do my rational and it definitely shows in my anxiety. This stuff holds my back on my dream goals, trying to get experience with relationships, going to school, and just overall being happier and caring a lot less about anxiety. I don't know how to get rid of them. I just try to let them pass. Sometimes that works, sometimes that doesn't. Being up at night is a trigger for this for sure.

flyana

Date posted: 17w

Imposter syndrome advice?

Anyone else really wanna pursue their dreams, but imposter syndrome and OCD thinking holds them back? For me, it’s my art. I’ve had some success with my art, and it’s been really exciting, but then I think of all the things I regret and the mistakes I made, and I’m terrified, so I recoil. I never feel like I deserve it. All those artists who’ve been praised for their art by the masses, I imagine them as being perfect. I know it’s not true, but I mean, how can you put yourself out there these days and not know you have no skeletons in the closet?? I see people making reels and they’re so confident and carefree, and I think, “I bet they’ve never made any really big mistakes, or else they’d be terrified of having themselves out there.” I’m probably projecting. Maybe they’re just as terrified deep down. Maybe that’s what drives them. Maybe that’s what makes their art so touching. All I really wanna do is impact other people with my art. Maybe there’s a selfish part of me that relies on the praise, and that’s the part I need to let go of. Whether I get praise or not, my art should just be something I’m proud of. If I can help someone with my art, that would be amazing. Like you guys. I feel like this community is my demographic, and even if the rest of the world turned away from me, the ones who’ve been in my shoes are the ones I should write for. Anyway, this is a huge issue for me and my OCD. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I would really love to hear them, because I feel pretty stuck.

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