Well im not sure how to deal with this?

Here’s some tips I wish someone shared with me when I was newly diagnosed- Try practicing some exposure response therapy. Stop reassuring yourself that these are normal thoughts(even though they are normal thoughts. reassurance seeking is a compulsion), Sit with the scary thoughts. It’s very hard to do this, but the more you force yourself to imagine the worst that could happen, the less scary they become. They’re just thoughts and they don’t mean anything, (but reminding yourself of that is a compulsion in itself). A simple exercise is grabbing a journal and writing down the thought that scares you. You can write it over and over or say it over and over until it doesn’t feel so scary anymore. This is desensitizing yourself to the thought. When I get stuck on a thought I ask myself “what if this comes true?” Then I picture the outcome, which is uncomfortable, it’s supposed to be, but I force myself to imagine the worst. For example with your situation, ask yourself, “what if I do find my friend attractive?” Ok, so you find him attractive. What if your boyfriend finds out you think your gay friend is good looking ? What if he dumps you cause you found him attractive? What if you break up? (See how these thoughts keep spiraling? Keep escalating it to the worst that could happen, and sit with that uncomfortableness. Also the “what ifs” may sound a little ridiculous. ((Because they are. Your boyfriend won’t care if you think your gay friend is cute)) The more you expose yourself to your fears, the less scary they become. You may find your fears Jump around to new themes once you’ve conquered one. That’s normal. When you catch yourself reassuring yourself, stop. It may seem counterintuitive but it is the best way to beat OCD. Sit with the fear till it no longer controls you. Look up more ERP examples if you need help, and attend some free group therapy this app offers! You got this. Hope it helps.