Update: I'm fine now, but now I see the truth

Had another panic attack last night, and it was the one that lasted an hour. That was probably the scariest moment of my life cuz I thought I couldn't calm myself down and needed to go to the hospital. I was starting to lose faith in myself but my family (brother, nephew, and sister) was there for me; and I'm glad my brother made sure not to give in to my compulsive fear and call 911 despite me begging him to. It did happen when I least expected cuz I'm taking a supplement for anxiety, so I thought I would be able to at least avoid having this happened again despite OCD, and I was wrong. It still happened because I was basically facing my fears all day yesterday with the doctor's appointment, to stress about my living situation, to my neck. And I think that panic attack happened as a result of me trying to combat those thoughts by doing the skills I've learned, but I didn't fully believe them because I was too stubborn too, I was too SCARED to. I think this is a lesson to how you gotta learn to trust yourself and to allow yourself to accept the things you can't control; even if the face of your worst case scenario coming true. Idk if this is normal to have a panic attack after trying to do some ERP through stressing moments, but I still manage to make it through somehow. Having another panic attack at MIDNIGHT was probably my worst case scenario, but I got through it! Idk, I still lack a bit of confidence, but despite how messed up this feels, it revealed so many truths now. In a weird way, it helped me understand why I gotta learn to trust myself again. I'm still scared asl, but, weirdly enough, I feel like I got this now

VVbee

Date posted: 18h

(The chugging coffee then going haywire next day is relatable, I'm banned from it at the current moment) I can also relate to facing fears and having a panic attack over it, which happened today to me as well. My fear was facing conferences today and I even was freaking out on this app over it, it turned out not the greatest/not the worst but nontheless I was trembling the entire time afterwards. And I'm still currently really stressed and experiencing all kinds of emotions.. Tho I'm really proud that you managed through without going through your compulsion of calling 911..! Midnight panic attacks are the absolute worst, especially since it's almost complete silence, but it's really great that you got through that as well . <3 It's absolutely normal to still feel scared afterwards and even if you feel scared tomorrow that's okay, I'm really sorry that you even had to feel that way. But as I said, I'm glad you're staying strong and I really hope that the rest of the week is more easy on you. 💜💜💜 And if you have to face more fears, that's okay, you're not alone on this.

☆☆JOJO☆☆

Date posted: 17h

Thank you. Just...thank you. You have no idea how much this message means to me, especially as I'm currently trying to face my fears again through literally gritted teeth. Practicing techniques that you learn become SO much harder when your brain so badly wants you to believe that it won't work, so I'm also proud of you as well for powering through your conferences despite fear being at its peak! I, too, hope the rest of your week is more peaceful; and thanks again for the kind message, it means more than you know

☆☆JOJO☆☆

Date posted: Yesterday

Oh yea, did I also mention that I drank frickin chugged coffee, too? That was probably not a good idea

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