I’ve been stuck in fight or flight for a long time

I wish for this to find the right people. Reddit is tricky, one of those sites where it’s a hit or miss. ( 23M ) I’m here to talk about something that will certainly give people who suffer with health anxiety/ GAD /panic reassurance that they will be fine. They will be okay, they are safe. I as well hope to find anyone or people who have experienced anything similar to me or close to identical. For this journey has been really grueling and very scary to say the least. In high school in 2018 I was depressed and terrified of being myself being my true self so much that I wouldn’t even act myself at home. I was terrified on going to public school I thought the kids there were meaner and more violent then the ones in catholic school which I traditionally went to before HS. For a whole 4 years I experienced non stop stress, non stop anxiety for the next day the next week. I am not exaggerating it was actually hell. I couldn’t focus on academics and I was too afraid to ask my parents to transfer me to another school, so everyday at school for 4 years I was in total misery and physical agony. I developed dpdr really bad because I was incredibly constant fight or flight everyday. Once I graduated in 2021 I was incredibly depressed, incredibly traumatized and anxious a few years after still the same level of angst and fight or flight everyday along with tachycardia that seemed to not let up for years it seems unless I was sleep. in 2023 I smoked weed because I wanted to feel “calmer” “at peace” that was a really bad decision, I had my first panic attack that lasted hours and was the worst thing I’ve ever felt. I started to have this phobia around my heartbeat and started to change my lifestyle to combat any possibilities I had a disease. Which is so sad and ironic because the anxiety wasn’t helping. Ever since then they have been happening over and over for a long long time until. 2025 they started to lose fuel and potency and I wasn’t experiencing as much high anxiety and panic as much anymore. Now here in 2026 I am now starting to discover the root of all of these episodes of anxiety and it stems from high school. When I never asked for help and struggled greatly in silence for years. I am currently working through my trauma to best I can. I forgot to mention but in 2024 I got almost all required tests done and they all came back fine ultrasound, 14 day Holter monitor, Trans Echo, EKG. Normal despite the agony I’ve been in for YEARS. none of my current doctors want to give me tests because the ones I did already were normal. so weird has anyone ever gone through something similar to this or very similar to this ? I am a worried about what these Prolonged experiences could have done to my health. Has anyone ever experienced anything close to the terrifying degree as me ? I feel alone and have felt very scared about my life as a whole because of what I think I’ve done to my health. So I am here at NOCD looking for support as a lot of my health fears stem from checking, compulsions, and intrusive thoughts about what my past has done to my health. So I’m seeking help. Hope someone, even just one person out there, can relate or know what this is like long-term.

Chyguy

Date posted: 23h

I (27F) suffer from health anxiety that at times can take complete control over my life. I'm right there with you dealing with doctors who don't want to run tests or refer me to a specialist because the basic testing comes back fine. At my absolute worst times I try (successfully or not) to find comfort in the fact that the exams I've done have come back fine and if I were at risk of dying (or in your case already damaged your health from your past) it would not be dismissed by doctors. Also, while hard to believe in the thick of it, the human body is extremely resilient. Especially being in our 20s our hearts should be at their peak and if they weren't the tests you mentioned would've detected otherwise. Before I sought help for my OCD I would spiral for hours a day doing google searches, avoiding physical activities, and seeing any doctor for reassurance that I wasn't dying. What I've learned that works for me the most is just accepting the possibility of death. My health anxiety stems from wanting to have control over my health and avoiding death. As we learn with NOCD, our OCD can be more manageable when we live in the uncertainty so for me accepting the possibilty of death and that it can be random can help ground me - its just extremely hard to do in the moment and I don't always successfully do it. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in this fight! Also, progress isn't linear! Some days may be better, some days may be worse but that doesn't mean we aren't moving forward. Wishing you luck on your OCD journey!

CC86

Date posted: 1h

I have almost an exact story! 39 (f) and have been struggling with health OCD for over 5 years. About 12 years ago I ingested a marijuana brownie and had a complete panic attack. I absolutely thought I was dying. My chest hurt for months, no exaggeration. Now, whenever I get stressed, my chest hurts. I’ve had every heart test and still see the cardiologist annually. Currently starting therapy next week because I can’t live like this anymore! Big hugs. We can do hard things!!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond