How Do You Work Past Feeling Worthless Or Evil?

I've been doing a huge amount of self therapy for my OCD. Gone through ERP, and journaling + a bit of therapy where I could afford it. Realized I also have a lot of codependency. My "findings" can be categorized into these 3 areas. Mindfullness (Being aware of your body mind and spirit, or in my case emotion thoughts and awareness), the idea that the emotion I feel to a thought is me choosing the story I believe in and finally the fact that I seem to be choosing stories which build off the fundemental premise that im worthless, not worthy, or evil in some fashion. The central theme/core fear is that I'm fundementally bad. Like I'm deserving of the worst things happening to me. It's not right logically, of course I made mistakes, my intentions are always though to be better and get better. I find myself being hypervigilant about my own behaviour. I ruminate a huge amount about my thoughts etc. Grew up basically in a fundementalist christian cult, was bullied severely and grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Needless to say, had to unlearn a huge amount of cognitive distortions and behaviour. I'm just tired. So tired. Sometimes I see the light and im like "Wait this is the story im believing! I believe im evil and bad" and then the clarity brings peace. Then the thoughts creep back in, and my awareness is on them. I'm trying to analyze/pinpoint where that belief comes from. It's like naming where the feeling comes from. I get a thought "___, you're a piece of shit, if others knew you they would hate you, what if one day they will?" then I notice it's just a thought but in my head, like skull I feel something. It's like the top of my head or behind my eyes. It's not pain, more of a "click" or awareness shift. I can't stop myself from not believing that im exactly that. I try to sit with the uncertainty but it's so annoying that I can't seem to control my belief. I believe im horrible. I don't know if it's me, or more of an impression. I'm leaning to it being an impression imparted on me through my life experiences. I just don't know how to unclick myself. I do mindfullness and small tricks to ground myself. It's only temporary though and that click shortly comes back. At this point I just try to accept it and be like "Well maybe!". That also gives me just a slight numbing effect until at one point the feeling fully comes back. I'm really tired boss. How much more healing do I have to do. Is there anything else I could maybe try?