Dating and OCD

I started therapy last year and was diagnosed with OCD, I have a few physical compulsions but a majority of my responses fall under the category of Pure O (mental compulsions like rumination). It’s felt like a lot taking all this new information in and it caused a bit of an identity crisis and I just haven’t felt like myself in a while. I am single in my mid twenties so I want to date and have been dating but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to date when I feel this unsure of myself. But then everyone keeps saying you have to keep living even while the scary OCD thoughts are there. I just feel like it’s hard to present my best self when I still feel quite shaken up by a year of really intense OCD flare ups. Has anyone that has struggled with this or gone through something similar have any advice or insight?

Shizukani

Date posted: Yesterday

You're not alone. It has been hard , I struggle every moment of everyday - the intensive feelings and fear and doubt that comes is hard to keep up with even myself and I don't want to put that burden on someone else. But one thing I will say is that we deserve to be loved regardless of what we battle. I know that I have so much love to give someone and so much of me that I want to share with someone that's not apart of the struggle and I know you do too. Being vulnerable with someone is hard because you're never certain about their intentions. Which is mortifying but one thing that helps me is just having faith that if I am being pure and genuine for someone then there is nothing more that I can do. People will either love you or not. But at the end of the day. You yourself deserve to be loved.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I so needed to read your your message this morning. Thank you🩷

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Your message hit me hard.I have felt like I have been flawed.Something wrong with me and not lovble for several reasons. One of them is ocd, I have avoided dating for years and thinking someone couldn't love me for me or I needed fix things, get better before dating. It has made dating incredibly hard. Then add on the what ifs it's horrible. This therapy has been such a blessing, one of my goals was to get on a dating site. I have found that in accepting myself and not identifying having OCD as a flaw, just a struggle that I have in life that I'm working on and giving others a chance, that I can be loved even while I struggle. I hope you being so young that you know that you are so worth being loved and cared for just as you are. We all struggle with things person you meet most likely will have a struggle, Some people will be able to accept and work with you and others not. I did date finally date. I met a great man in so many ways that I couldn't ask more of with sharing my o.C d and him wanting to learn and help it didn't work out with him , I could just about cry with the acceptance and love I felt. I understand what you're saying about wanting to present your best self and waiting to feel better. For me, I've waited years and years waiting to get to a certain spot with things. Spent years avoiding and thinking I wasn't worthy. I hope you realize very ealy in life how deserving of love and support you are even with OCD ☺️🩷

katydid_17

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

I just got back on dating apps this past year after a 5 year hiatus. My OCD became really bad in 2020, then Covid hit and I didn’t want to meet people in-person anyway. I could’ve probably started dating again sooner, but kept telling myself I needed to get farther in recovery first, take better photos for the dating apps, lose weight, etc etc. Finally my therapist encouraged me to just start anyway. I was pleasantly surprised that people wanted to connect with me, and it became part of my motivation in recovery. Not only did I want to recover for myself, but now I wanted to be my best for a potential partner too. Take your time to manage your OCD and take care of yourself. But you are correct that you have to keep living despite the OCD. A lot of times my self talk is something like “maybe I’m ready, maybe I’m not. But I can try a date, see what happens, and learn from it regardless.” 💕

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