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Help me! I acted on a compulsion and now I feel like want to keep doing it. I’m scared. I had been doing okay for these past two days but idk. What should I do?

This started happening to me in 2022 and it's gotten okay but it's still bothering me a lot. I to do erp when I get the thoughts but it really just feels like confirmation. Here's the thing the idea ALONE that I could be anything other than straight even if it is as tiny as .001% makes me feel awful because I know that the idea of being with another woman is just not for me. But the thoughts and goinals keep coming and I'm at a loss. It's just know that being with my man feels right but these thoughts are starting to affect that. I just feel so lost.

Hello! I am pretty early in my journey with receiving treatment for OCD, although it seems I’ve had it my whole life. I would love to hear any inspirational stories from people who have seen improvements from treatment! I am feeling good about ERP so far but I could use some inspiration as I embark on the harder parts :)

Hi everyone ! I have been diagnosed with pure, somatic and harm OCD since last year as well as dermatillomania. Oh ! And to top it off I have diagnosed ADHD as well. I wanted to just come on here and share some experience that I’ve had. I’m 23 years old and ever since I was a child I have memories of my dermatillomania as a way to cope with my anxiety. I have struggled with my mental health since being a child, my undiagnosed ADHD made me very self aware that I wasn’t “fast enough”, “smart enough”, or “cool enough”. My psychiatrist even says that this undiagnosed ADHD until my 20s probably exacerbated my ocd as a way to compensate. Now I still rely on my parents as they help me out while I finish my studies. One parent is very religious and believes that “disease does not exist” (only a projection in peoples minds), and is very against meds and my other parent seems to always want to change the subject and has refused to come into therapy with me to meet my doctors and understand what I live through. My religious parent, I refuse to tell them I am on medication and I know that they will disapprove and try to gaslight me into believing something that will “make it all go away”. So I’ve given up. My other parent although they appear to pay attention always changes the subject and makes me feel invalid, and no matter how many times I try to explain I feel like I am talking to a wall. I just feel sad because.. well you would want your parents to want to understand and help you. In my case I am fortunate that financially they back me but I feel like I need to be a different person around them, and when it comes to my mental health I have no support. I look at mostly white families (not all) online and they seem to want to understand and be a part of a healing process, or at least believe that OCD is a valid diagnosis. I just want to ask if any of you have had unsupportive family members, have felt alone on your journey, and if it’s okay to never really let go of that hope that one day they may understand you. And honestly advice is great but just knowing I’m not alone in this will already comfort me, knowing that we are all in this together.

My OCD has gotten better, at least as good as it can get, but my depression has been awful lately. I take 100mg of Zoloft, and I feel as though I’m going backwards. It’s helped my anxiety a ton, but it feels as if it’s made my depression worse. I spoke with my PCP, and she recommended adding 75mg of Wellbutrin. I’m picking it up today. I’m hoping this can help me. If not, I’ll switch everything and start taking Luvox. It’s so annoying trying to find the right meds when you’re already struggling. Anyone else taking Wellbutrin in combination with another med ?

I got engaged in December and will be marrying my best friend next year. We've been together a little over five years, and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, my SO-OCD and ROCD are making it very hard to enjoy my engagement. I seem to be triggered by everything, but it's especially bad this month. I'm so sad because this didn't start until I watched the bathroom coming-out scene from Stranger Things in 2022 and fell down this rabbit hole. I don't know what to do because the thought of being with a woman literally gives me nightmares, but the thoughts are still there and are so loud. I just want to enjoy my life with my soon-to-be husband, but this is making it so hard.

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.

It feels like my OCD is determined to steal everything I love. It’s so exhausting to have to fight myself all the time.

For some reason, my thoughts aren't bothering me as much anymore and it's scaring me. I don't want to do those things, but why aren't they bother my? is this a good or bad thing?

Any experiences with Lexapro (escitalopram) medication and OCD. Just started it and I’m curious as to if it’ll really help me. I surely pray it does. Lord knows I need relief. What are/were your experiences on it. Thanks!

Does anyone else feel the need to know their diagnosis and want to find exact explanations for why you feel the way you do or have certain thoughts. I’ve just had one NOCD therapy session so it’s just the beginning portion with assessments and have more this week but I keep having thoughts like “Is this OCD or GAD or something else?” and “What if this actually isn’t OCD?” which leads me to Google the diagnoses and also ask others for reassurance (“Do you think I have OCD?”). Any advice on how to cope with this?

Good morning everyone. I struggle with uncertainty in general and am looking for mantras or ways to respond to anxiety when I feel like I need to know the answer right now. Sometimes the sense of urgency can make it hard to focus on other things aside from the thoughts so I will often engage in a form of reassurance seeking. Going to be starting NOCD therapy this week!

does anyone have any tips on managing and controlling this? especially if you have said questionable things in the past or as a kid. A long 13 yr friendship of mine is ending and the ex friend really despises me.I can’t help but obsess and ruminate over what I could have possible done wrong even though they’re the one who said hateful things to me. I can’t help but wonder about all past friendships and ex friendships and whether it’s tied to me being a good/bad person. Does anyone have any advice on managing this? I try to reflect on different friendships and why it ended but still end up ruminating on my morality and self. Thank you ❤️

If you experience an excessive need to research and gather information about something how do you handle that compulsion? I find I’m doing that now with my ocd diagnosis and it’s exhausting. There’s never enough information to satisfy it . Any help would be appreciated.

Ive been doing well with managing my ocd for a while since ive been putting all my focus on my work. But today was a particularly bad day, and im scared that I might be getting a flare up again. My last one was horribly debilitating for months so I am terrified of it occurring again, even though this time around im better equipped with a psychiatrist and meds. But its just such a scary feeling of doom and panic, I havent been able to sleep all night. I just hope im overthinking it again and that ill be ok.

I’ve been pretty bad with eye contact lately, and it’s gotten worse… I’m afraid to look my mom in the eye lately because I’m afraid I think I might look at her chest or her lower body. I notice I’m doing some things on purpose like when I notice her in my peripheral, I’ll look when I don’t wanna look, or I’ll find an excuse to look at the areas I want to avoid but I know I don’t wanna look there, so am I using this as an excuse? Am I lying to myself? Do I really want to look at my mom like this? Like I’m avoiding to look at her by looking the other way or when looking down, but I’m looking down, I’ll purposely start looking near the area I want to avoid but I know I don’t look at my mom in any other way. I’m just distressing myself, it’s stupid.

I have this irrational fear that my mom is going to ☠️(i can’t type the word because i’ll trigger myself but i hope you get what i’m trying to say) and i won’t know because i live far away from her and it literally keeps me up at night and i’ve cried so much about it. A lil context my mom is like my best friend I love her so freaking much and that’s where this fear stems from because i simply wouldn’t be able to live if she did pass away. This fear will trigger my compulsions so i literally need to check in with her almost every day and make sure im telling here to be safe and just being annoyingly over cautious with everything she does bcuz it’s like ahh!! don’t ☠️ mom!!! If i love someone a lot the thought of them dying becomes actually debilitating and feels like it’s already happened in a way even when their perfectly safe and healthy. Just death all around I obsess over, even those who I have actually lost i obsess over the fact that their watching me at every minute of everyday and i cant do anything that i wouldn’t do in front of them? if that makes sense? Is this a type of OCD?

Ever since I started 5th grade I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping. At one point I could sleep up to 15 hours at once because it was like my mind trapped me there and my whole body and thought process was frozen outside of the real world. At another point in time I was obsessed with getting exactly 8 hours. Now, I cannot sleep at night no matter how tired I am. It’s as if sleeping when it’s dark outside makes my intrusive thoughts worse. But as soon as the sun starts to rise, I pass out and stay asleep forever and just like before, I get stuck in my sleep. My dreams become awful, endless nightmares (I’ve had these since I was 4 or 5 but they’ve somehow gotten worse). Like I have no idea what I’m going to do once the nights get longer during fall and winter and I have to go to classes during the day. Part of it may be medication or my other medical condition but a lot of it seems like it’s a part of my OCD or another mental illness. Has anyone else had a sleep problem like this?

Hello everyone I’m new to this forum and I think I may be suffering w/ SOOCD specifically HOCD. I think my HOCD doesn’t make me viciously anxious when it first started now I just feel numb now sure if anyone feels the same. At first it felt like a switch went off in my head and started getting excessive thoughts about women. Even today I’m afraid to be friends w/ women in fear I will like them. And it doesn’t help that I don’t get frequent crushes on guys/not as desirable when it comes to dating. I always thought women were attractive but in an aesthetic way and any sexual attraction to me was groinal or forced due to my compulsions. My mind is convincing me I’m a lesbian but identifying as one doesn’t feel right and I’ve always imagined being w/ a man. I just need help because I’m working and applying to grad school and it’s making me physically sick/unable to do anything. Just wanted some thoughts and advice if possible. (And for context I’m 21 and got triggered at around 15/16). Thank you!

I’m so tired of thinking and thinking and finding new reasons to worry and new old memories to overthink and obsess about and moralize, it’s so exhausting and scary and it makes me distrust everyone around me and even myself. It’s like I everything and everyone needs to be questioned and interrogated and put into a good or bad bucket. I’m just so tired I don’t want to think anymore :( I want to turn my brain off.