This whole post might just be a fancy compulsion

Considering not posting because looking at my feed and it looks like a lot of people are struggling right now. My mind is telling me that I caused this because when I first got onto the app a month or two ago my feed was a lot of wins and overcoming, then I posted about struggle a few times and now it’s all struggle. And sure, maybe I did do that. And maybe I didn’t. regardless, what I’m ACTUALLY coming here for is a question and maybe seeking a little support/knowledge (if anyone has it in them—maybe it’s the holidays too? I know they can be so hard for many.) Sometimes, not very often, but sometimes I have these thoughts that absolutely fill me with horror and dread. It’s usually about something that is a big fear of mine, and I’ll have a thought or cluster of thoughts and then something in me will shift from “what if” to “this is definitely real and imminent.” I think I know the answer, but is that OCD? Because often times the what ifs can be easy to ignore, because I don’t know, but then my mind comes up with all of this “evidence” followed by a gut or bodily sensation, and that combo tells me the I’m basically (correctly) predicting the future. What happened tonight was a new level of worrying about my brother and his family. I worry about my brother having ptsd and the ‘what if’ he doesn’t treat it or what if it gets worse and we “lose him” (psychologically) and then how that will affect me and his family and our family and then I decide I need to go into a career in therapy so I can handle it or prevent it even, and since I’m directionless and careerless now anyway and interested in that as a career and he does genuinely have PTSD, why not do this? So I guess…why not do this? Is it wrong to make a decision like this? Is this ocd, and if it is, what’s the nuance where ocd and real logic and common sense overlap? I realize this is something I should bring to my therapist, and I will, but this community has been really helpful in just providing comfort and support through shared experience. And now…I just realized this is post is probably a compulsion, what I’m doing right now. The dread and horror felt so bad that I came here because it absolutely does make me feel better and sitting with it felt unbearable. And now posting feels wrong, because I do feel better lol But I still want the advice and, now, maybe an objective view on if it seems like I’m currently posting an ocd cycle in real time. This is hard.

ivanomilo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

You are describing intrusive thoughts which is OCD. The line is where you can not control the worrying, your mind is moving and you have trouble pulling yourself out of it. There is a technique called grounding where you perform an activity that uses your whole mind. Tetris is a great example of this. For me, I put on a podcast and play video games. It drowns out the noise. I personally would like to specifically avoid addressing the second portion of your post because I don’t think anyone has the answers for you there, but I did recognize the beginning portion and wanted to give my thoughts that helped me with similar stuff!

Scarlet5

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi…I feel like when I have an OCD trigger it helps to post here about what is causing me anxiety in the moment. If think this is a good and safe place to post about the things that we are struggling with because unless you suffer from OCD it is very hard to understand it. Being that this is an OCD community, you can get advice from members and other people who live with OCD because they get it! And something in what you post might be helpful to another member who reads your post. I also felt that posting could be a compulsion. So you’re not alone in that thought either. But isn’t that what this platform is all about, communicating with other people who live with OCD and understand it. OCD is the worrying disorder…hence why you are worrying about your brother. It shows that you care about him. There is a wall hanging in my home that I bought years ago and i should put it where i can see it all day because I need it as a reminder to have faith. It says …WORRY ENDS WHERE FAITH BEGINS. When I get afraid I need to have faith that God will protect me and keep me and my loved ones safe…faith leads to prayer …I need to pray often everyday and ask God to keep me and my family safe. And if something bad happens I need to trust that God will help me figure out how to deal with the problem. So why would I waste time worrying about something that may or may not happen…I just need to think if it happens I will take care of it then instead of worrying now about something that doesn’t exist in this present moment. For example if you get stuck worrying about your brother, maybe pray for him in that moment. Give the worry to God. My grandfather used to always say….. Why worry when you can pray🩷 See look what your post did …I am trying to reply in hopes that I can help you in some way and in doing so you helped me by reminding me that I need to also remember to do these things… I need to Give my worries to God and then let them go… otherwise the worry just steals our peace and leads to destructive compulsions. If we are constantly dwelling on what has happened or worrying and anxiously anticipating what might happen in the future…. Then we miss out on the opportunity to fully experience and appreciate the current moment. True peace and happiness come from focusing attention on the present. Hope some of this helps you in some way. Godspeed 😇

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