My bf found it helpful when I said that when I’m in a spiral, I need his help to maintain the non reassurance boundary. I asked him to say, babe, I know this is hard, but if we have this conversation we’ll just be feeding the OCD. It also helped when I explained that when we talk about my OCD thoughts, fears, and urges, we validate them. We essentially tell them that they are important brain signals worthy of our attention. They aren’t. They’re misfires.